How to Survive Alone

Co-authored by Jennifer Butler, MSW and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: March 20, 2023 References

Whether you’re living on your own for the first time or you’ve been isolated from others for a while, being alone can be extremely intimidating. Not having anyone around for support might leave you feeling depressed, scared, or vulnerable. Luckily, there's almost nothing you can't do alone if you just develop the right mindset and prepare yourself accordingly. You never know—you might even begin to enjoy being alone!

1

Embrace your freedom.

Being on your own can be great! Take some simple steps like personalizing your space, inviting friends over frequently, and creating a schedule for cleaning and maintaining your home to make living alone more fun and less stressful. You can make your own rules, and you don’t have to ask anyone else what they think about your home.^{[1]
X
Expert Source

Jennifer Butler, MSW
Love & Empowerment Coach
Expert Interview. 31 July 2020.}
- One of the great things about living alone is that you get to make your own rules. If you want to have a giant beanbag chair or a hammock in your living room instead of a couch, there's no one to tell you you can't.

2

Stick to a routine.

Try not to lounge about in your house every day. Instead, wake up around the same time every morning and get dressed before tackling the day. The more structured your life is, the less lonely you’ll feel, even when you’re on your own.^{[2]
X
Trustworthy Source
PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
Go to source}
- If you’re working from home, it might be helpful to get out of the house at least once every day. Head to a coffee shop, go for a walk around the park, or take a jog around your neighborhood for a change of scenery.

3

Get out of the house.

Take a walk outside or go for a drive. Even if you aren’t going anywhere in particular, simply leaving your home can help you feel better. If you want some social interaction, head to a coffee shop or a deli and grab a bite to eat. You’ll feel much better if you spend some time away from your home.^{[3]
X
Trustworthy Source
Harvard Medical School
Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public
Go to source}
- It’s also nice to have a reason to get dressed in the morning. Even if you don’t have plans for the day, try putting on some clothes and heading out the door.

4

Socialize with others.

Get together with old friends or make new ones. If you don’t know anyone in the area, join a club or a group to meet new people with the same interests as you. Try heading to your local community center or library to stay in contact with other people.^{[4]
X
Trustworthy Source
Harvard Medical School
Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public
Go to source}
- The more social you are outside of your home, the easier it will be to live on your own.

5

Connect with people online.

Chat with others who might be far away. You can reach out to your friends and family members for a video chat or a phone call every now and then. Stay connected with your friends via social media or online hangouts over Zoom. Even if you’re alone physically, you can still talk to people on the web.^{[5]
X
Trustworthy Source
Harvard Medical School
Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public
Go to source}
- Connecting with people online is a great way to combat any loneliness you might feel, especially during the holidays.

6

Go on adventures by yourself.

You don’t need to bring anyone else with you to have fun. Want to go on a vacation to Mexico? Do it! Want to check out the new museum that just opened up? Go for it! Don’t limit yourself on what you can do, and be open to having fun, new experiences on your own.^{[6]
X
Research source}
- If you feel wary about heading out on your own, try carrying pepper spray with you.

7

Pick up a new hobby.

What’s something you’ve always wanted to try? Maybe you can learn the guitar or get really good at swimming long distances. Whatever it is, pour your heart into it and learn a new skill. It will keep you busy and enrich your life without anyone else around.^{[7]
X
Research source}
- If you end up taking a class, that’s a great way to meet new people!

8

Adopt a pet.

Studies show that pet owners are happier and healthier than those without pets. If you’re feeling a bit lonely, consider getting a dog or a cat to keep you company. Or, go for a smaller animal, like a hamster, a lizard, or a snake. Having an animal to play with and interact with can really boost your mood when you’re alone.^{[8]
X
Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}
- Adopting a dog is also a great way to get yourself out of the house. Most dogs need 1 to 2 walks per day, so you’ll have to leave your home at least once.
- Check out local animal shelters nearby to give a homeless pet their forever home.

9

Challenge your lonely or negative thoughts.

It’s easy to get lonely when you’re on your own. If you find yourself having negative thoughts about yourself, try to counteract them with a positive one. Or, ask yourself if you have any evidence for that to be true. For example:^{[9]
X
Research source}
- If you think, “I will always be alone,” ask yourself, “How do I know that? Can I tell the future?”
- If you think, “If I’m alone, I have to be unhappy,” ask yourself, “Do I, though? Or can I appreciate myself for who I am?”

10

Distract yourself when you start to feel lonely.

It might happen to you, and that’s okay. If there are certain time periods or activities that make you feel alone, keep a few things around to distract yourself. If, for instance, you often feel lonely when you’re making dinner, listen to a podcast or an audiobook. Little things like this can make your life a lot more enjoyable on your own.^{[10]
X
Research source}
- The holidays are often very tough for people who are alone. If that’s the case for you, try making your own traditions! Instead of having dinner with family, you could go out to eat or see a new movie.

11

Make sure you’re safe.

Being on your own doesn’t have to be scary. Make sure your doors and windows all have working locks, and turn on the porch light outside when it starts to get dark. If you’re really worried, consider setting up a security camera outside of your home in case anything happens.^{[11]
X
Research source}
- You could also adopt a large dog and get to know your neighbors as an extra defense against danger.

12

Address health problems as soon as they happen.

Pay attention to how you’re feeling. If you start getting sick or get an injury, go to the doctor and get checked out. Living on your own means that you have to be extra aware of your health levels since there’s no one else around.^{[12]
X
Research source}
- This is especially true if you’re older. Being on your own and suffering a severe health problem can be dangerous.

Community Q&A

Question

What should I do if my best friend ignores and leave me?

Community Answer

If you think they might be upset with you, try talking to them about it. If you did something wrong, apologize and try to make it up to them. If they won't talk to you, or you didn't do anything wrong, you should just find another friend, because a good friend wouldn't ignore you for no reason.