What Happens If Someone Objects at Your Wedding? Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace

Co-authored by Hannah Madden

Last Updated: January 17, 2023

We’ve all seen the rom coms: the officiant says “Speak now or forever hold your peace,” and a jilted lover stands up to object to the wedding. But do objections at weddings actually happen? And if so, how would you handle it? In this article, we’ll explain everything about wedding objections, from what might happen if someone objects to your wedding to what you should do if you want to object to a wedding. For the answers to all of your questions, read on!

Things You Should Know

If someone objects at your wedding, the officiant will pause the ceremony so you can chat with the person in private. Then, you can restart the ceremony.
Wedding objections are for legal issues only, not emotional ones. No one can stop a wedding unless they have a legal reason for doing so.
If you aren’t religious, you don’t have to ask for objections during your ceremony.
If you want to object at someone’s wedding, talk to them in private before the wedding instead.

Section 1 of 6:

What happens if someone objects at my wedding?

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The officiant will pause the ceremony. If there is an objection at your wedding, it’s up to the officiant to proceed. Oftentimes, they will take a brief pause while they decide what to do and how to handle the rest of the ceremony.^{[1]
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- If the objection is minor and doesn’t have any legal standing, the officiant may even just keep going with the ceremony without pausing.
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You can have a private conversation with the objector before restarting the ceremony. It’s likely that the person who objects will want to speak with you and your partner. Take them to a private area and talk about their concerns. Then, whenever you’re ready, you can head back out and keep going with the ceremony.^{[2]
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- If the person who objects isn’t willing to move on, you may have to ask them to leave.
- It can be nerve wracking to think about someone objecting at your wedding. Keep in mind that this isn’t common, and it’s much more likely that your ceremony will go off without a hitch! Calm your nerves before the wedding by relaxing with friends and family the night before.

Section 2 of 6:

History of Wedding Objections

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Wedding objections started in medieval times during the 12th century. They were used as a way to identify any legal issues with the bride and the groom—maybe one of them was already married, or one of them took a vow of celibacy. Since there was much less documentation back then, oftentimes, people could get away with a shady marriage if no one knew about their past.^{[3]
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Wedding objections are meant for legal issues, not emotional ones. In every wedding objection on television, there’s a huge declaration of love from an ex who wants to stop the wedding. In reality, though, that kind of objection wouldn’t matter—unless there’s a legal matter stopping the couple from getting married, an objection like that has no bearing on the wedding itself.^{[4]
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Section 3 of 6:

Do you have to ask for objections in your wedding ceremony?

No, you don’t have to include an opportunity for objections if you don’t want to. If you’re religious, especially in the Anglican or Episcopal church, there’s a good chance that your officiant will include this tradition automatically. However, you can ask them to edit the script and change the phrasing to simply ask your guests to welcome you and your partner with open arms.^{[5]
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- If you’re not religious or you’re not having a religious ceremony, feel free to leave it out all together.

Section 4 of 6:

Can you stop someone from objecting at your wedding?

You may be able to dissuade someone from objecting if you talk to them first. There’s a good chance that you already know about the one person who may speak up at your wedding. If that’s the case, pull them aside for a private conversation a couple of days before the wedding. Talk about their concerns, and ask them not to disrupt your ceremony on the big day.^{[6]
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- You might say something like, “I know you don’t approve of this marriage, but we’re in love and we will be getting married. If you have any objections, please keep them to yourself or talk with us in private about them.”

Section 5 of 6:

What if I want to object at a wedding?

Talk to the couple in private about your concerns if you want to object. Objecting during the wedding ceremony causes unnecessary drama, and it most likely won’t stop the wedding. If you really don’t want the couple to get married, pull them aside and express yourself privately. Chances are, they’ll be much more open to talking with you if you do it quietly and respectfully.^{[7]
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- Remember, the only way to stop a wedding is if you have a legal reason why the couple can’t be married. In today’s modern age, almost every legal issue is brought up before the couple applies for their marriage license, so it’s very unlikely that you could shout something out that would stop a wedding.

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Can I object after the wedding?

You can only object after the wedding in extreme circumstances. Once the couple has been married, there’s not a lot you can do to annul or dissolve their marriage license. However, if you have a legal or moral concern about the marriage, you can call the authorities or notify the courthouse that issued the marriage license.^{[8]
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