The Honeymoon Phase: What It Is & How Long It Lasts

Co-authored by Lauren Sanders and Hunter Rising

Last Updated: May 22, 2022 References

You may have heard about the “honeymoon phase” of relationships and how exciting it can be, but what exactly is the honeymoon phase and how does it factor into your relationship? Are you in the honeymoon phase or have you moved past it? Keep reading to learn everything you need to know about the honeymoon phase, including how to tell if you're currently in it and what to do once it's over.

Section 1 of 6:

What is the honeymoon phase?

The honeymoon phase is the happy early stage of a relationship. When you’re in the honeymoon phase, you love doing everything with your partner and building your bond with them. You’re learning more about each other’s personalities, exploring your intimacy, and having a lot of fun together.^{[1]
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- Most couples go through a honeymoon phase at the start of their relationship, but sometimes you and your partner may move quickly through it.

Section 2 of 6:

Signs You’re in the Honeymoon Phase

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You’re always excited to spend time with your partner. When you and your partner are together, it feels like nothing can come between you because you’re so connected. You’re looking forward to seeing them and going on dates as long as you’re together. You truly love getting to know all of the little quirks that make your partner unique.^{[2]
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You focus on what you and your partner have in common. Even if you and your partner have a few differences, you tend to ignore them in the honeymoon phase. Instead, you put your energy into hobbies and other pastimes that you and your partner both enjoy so you can have the most fun together.^{[3]
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You have a lot of intimacy. When you and your partner chat, you’re always calling them cute names, complimenting them, or flirting with them to sound really loving. You feel comfortable showing your partner affection and it all comes so easily and naturally.^{[4]
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You avoid conflicts. When you’re first starting a relationship, you tend to overlook anything that bothers you so you can focus on having a good time with your partner. In your eyes, your partner doesn’t do anything wrong and you love being with them no matter what happens.^{[5]
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You picture a vivid future with your partner. You only have eyes for the person you’re dating and you can’t see anything in your life without them. You may have already started talking about what your dream wedding would look like or what you’d name kids if you had them.^{[6]
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Section 3 of 6:

How long does the honeymoon phase last?

The honeymoon phase can last between a few months to 2 years. Some couples spend a lot of time in the honeymoon phase and others move past it pretty quickly, so it differs for everyone. A shorter honeymoon phase isn’t a bad thing if you’re feeling really comfortable in the relationship, but you build a stronger bond when you’re in it for longer.^{[7]
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- Don’t be afraid to slow down and enjoy your time in the honeymoon phase so you know each other better before moving to the next stage of your relationship.

Section 4 of 6:

How do you know when the honeymoon phase is over?

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You start to recognize how you and your partner are different. While you and your partner seemed to be exactly the same early in your relationship, you’ll notice some qualities that you used to ignore as you get to know each other better. Even if the differences don’t bother you, you start to see them more frequently than you used to.^{[8]
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You’re not as intimate. Physical and emotional intimacy came easier when you first started seeing each other, but now it seems to have fizzled out. At first, you were discovering what you and your partner liked, but it doesn’t feel as exciting now that you’ve spent a lot of time learning about each other.^{[9]
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You have more conflicts than usual. Everything that you used to ignore during the honeymoon phase might start to build up and lead to disagreements. You still have good times together and mostly enjoy spending time with each other, but there are small issues that you might notice and bring up more often now that you’re more comfortable in the relationship.^{[10]
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You think back on how your relationship used to be. You start to remember how you felt when you first started dating and how exciting it was with your partner. You wish you could go back to how it used to be as a couple when all you did was have fun without worrying about how issues would affect your relationship later on.^{[11]
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Section 5 of 6:

What happens after the honeymoon phase?

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You go through more hardships as a couple (but also grow closer). After the honeymoon phase, there will likely be more conflict in your relationship. You're more likely to argue and have differing expectations. It’s completely normal to go through this as a couple though, and it will ultimately strengthen your bond and bring you closer together.^{[12]
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You reassess what you love about your partner. After the honeymoon phase, you start to really think about the long-term viability of your relationship and whether or not you and your partner are actually compatible. This is a natural part of ending the honeymoon phase because you’re taking your relationship more seriously.^{[13]
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You learn how to communicate your needs. When you’re in the honeymoon phase, you’ll say almost anything to make your partner happy, but that could leave you unfulfilled later in the relationship. Now that you’ve spent time together and feel more comfortable with your partner, you’re not afraid to talk about what you need from your partner and what boundaries you don’t want them to cross.^{[14]
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- If you prefer to have alone time during the day, try saying, “I like to have time to myself every day to recharge, so I would appreciate having 30 minutes after work to decompress.”
- Be sure to listen to what your partner says they need from you too.
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You work through and accept each other’s differences. You and your partner should feel like you can comfortably be yourselves when you’re together, differences and all. There might be some things that they do or say that you disagree with, but you’re able to talk through them and come to a compromise where you’re both happy.^{[15]
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- If you like to go out on weekends but your partner prefers to stay in, you could say, “You don’t have to go with me every time, but I would appreciate it if you came with me every once in a while.”
- Ask yourself if the difference or small quirk is something that you can live with. If it doesn’t bother you that much, then it’s not a dealbreaker issue.
- It’s normal to question if you want to stay in your relationship if you feel like your differences make you incompatible, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to end things.

Section 6 of 6:

Does the honeymoon phase have to end?

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Yes, ending the honeymoon phase lets you move on to a deeper connection. While the honeymoon phase is really exciting, it can hide who you are on a deeper level from your partner. Your bond with your partner will grow strongest when you put your full trust in them so you can communicate openly and honestly.^{[16]
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You can still keep the romance alive after the honeymoon stage. Just because you’re outside of the honeymoon phase doesn’t mean you stop loving your partner. You can still rekindle that spark by:^{[17]
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- Setting aside time everyday to talk and bond
- Planning regular date nights
- Having a relaxing spa day
- Taking a vacation together
- Trying something new in the bedroom

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you continue after the honeymoon phase?

Lauren Sanders
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Lauren Sanders is a Professional Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and the Founder of Dating for the Soul. With over four years of experience, she specializes in helping singles find love. Lauren is also the author of Lipstick Faith: A Collection of Inspirational Writings and Life Lessons, You Deserve the World, Rainbows and Strawberries: 100 Devotions for the Brighter Side of Life, and Let's Go Outside Mommy. Lauren holds BS from Dillard University and a Masters from The University of North Georgia.

Lauren Sanders

Matchmaker & Dating Coach

Expert Answer

At this point, you will probably stop ignoring the possible red flags in the relationship and will be able to evaluate your partner more in-depth. This will help you decide if you should continue dating this person or not. The answer here depends on what your goals for life are. For example, if you want kids, can you see yourself raising children with this partner? Are your financial styles compatible? If you're not on the same page about the important stuff, it's better to have a serious discussion before your lives become even more intertwined.