Have you been chatting with a guy over text and he doesn't seem as interested as he used to? If a guy thinks you’re messaging him too much, he might back off and stop trying as hard. So will you get his attention back if you stop texting him? This trick can be a great way to reel him back in, so keep reading for everything you need to know about playing hard to get so he reaches out at any chance he gets!

2

Wait for a reply before messaging him again.

  1. Double-texting a guy might seem like you’re over-eager for his reply. If a guy still hasn’t texted you back yet, resist the urge to ask him where he is or if he saw your message. There’s a chance that he’s actually busy and can’t get to his phone, so give him a chance to respond. Once he does reach out again, you don’t have to respond to him right away.[2]
    • Make him wait around the same amount of time between messages. He’ll probably realize that he wants to chat more often than that.
    • Spacing out conversations instead of texting all the time can build attraction, especially when first meeting someone.
    • Sending more than 1 followup will not only make you seem desperate, but could also annoy the other person if they don’t want to talk.
5

Reply with vague details.

  1. He’ll want to keep texting so he can learn more about you. Guys love it when you act a little mysterious, so avoid telling him every detail about what you’re doing. Give him a brief idea of the things that you’ve been up to, but end the message on a cliffhanger so he asks you to tell him more.[5]
    • “I was just hanging out with friends and we had SO much fun this weekend. It got pretty wild…”
    • “Hey! I’ve been pretty good. I’ve been working on a super secret project that I’m really excited for 😊”
    • “I guess we’ll have to go out sometime if you want to hear the rest of the story 😉”
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6

Respond positively to messages you like.

  1. A positive response lets him know what messages he should send you. A guy doesn’t give you a lot to work with when he puts little effort into his text, so don’t feel like you have to reply to him. When he sends a thoughtful message and shows genuine interest in you, reward him with a really enthusiastic response to show him that’s what you want from the conversation.[6]
    • If he asks questions about a good day you mentioned: “Thanks for asking! 😊 I had a lot of fun just going out and hiking with some friends! It could have been better with you there though 😏”
    • If he sends you a message about how he’s doing: “It’s so good to hear from you!! I’m glad that you’re doing well too 🙂”
    • If he asks you on a planned-out romantic date: “That is so so sweet!! 🥰 I would love to go with you!”
7

Focus on yourself and other relationships.

  1. A guy will want to chat more if you have a life outside of the relationship. Spend time doing your favorite hobbies and building your other relationships so you can become the best person you can be. He’ll realize that you’ve got a really interesting life and he’ll want to get to know you more for it.[7]
    • If he asks you to hang out or do something, you could say something like, “Hey! That sounds fun, but I have plans to go volunteer with my bestie today. Let’s catch up soon though! 🙂”
    • If you’re texting a guy constantly, he may not realize that you spend your days doing lots of fun and exciting things.
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Expert Q&A

  • Question
    How do I stop the urge of texting him?
    Kristina Mirgorodskaya Kristina Mirgorodskaya is a Dating Coach and the Marketing Director of Amiccio, a New York City social app that helps singles make new connections. Amiccio connects singles by hosting parties, socials, beginners salsa, bachata, and tango classes, and speed dating events. With over four years of experience, Kristina specializes in leveraging people skills, cultivating welcoming environments, and intercultural communication. Her expertise allows her to easily bring people together. Kristina earned a degree in business from Baruch College.
    Kristina Mirgorodskaya
    Dating Expert
    Expert Answer
    Focus instead on being your best self! If you're really trying to get his attention, show off how you're attending interesting events, going to the gym, and just enjoying your life.
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About This Article

Lisa Shield
Co-authored by:
Dating Coach
This article was co-authored by Lisa Shield and by wikiHow staff writer, Hunter Rising. Lisa Shield is a love and relationship expert based in Los Angeles. She has a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and is a certified life and relationship coach with over 17 years of experience. Lisa has been featured in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times, and Cosmopolitan. This article has been viewed 61,206 times.
17 votes - 69%
Co-authors: 4
Updated: June 16, 2022
Views: 61,206
Categories: Love
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