A domestic violence case is a traumatic and stressful experience for everyone involved. If you're facing a domestic violence case, whether as the victim or the defendant, know that you're not alone—there are people and resources available to help and support you. Read on to learn what you need to do to win a domestic violence case so you can close this chapter and move on with your life.

Method 1
Method 1 of 2:

Defending against Domestic Violence Charges

  1. 1
    Meet with your appointed defense attorney if you face criminal charges. In criminal court, you have the right to counsel. This means you can have a public defender represent you at no cost. While public defenders provide competent representation, they are frequently overworked and might be juggling a lot of different cases.[1]
    • If you have a tight budget, stick with your public defender. But if you can afford to do so, hire a private criminal defense attorney who specializes in domestic violence. You'll get more personalized representation.
  2. 2
    Hire an attorney if the case filed against you is civil. In civil court, you don't have the right to counsel from a public defender. While you can certainly defend yourself, doing so will make it a lot harder for you to win. Hire an attorney who already knows court rules and procedures like the back of their hand, so you have one less thing to worry about.[2]
    • If you were to represent yourself, you'd be responsible for knowing all those rules and procedures the same as any attorney. Unless you went to law school, this is a lot to ask.
    • It's entirely possible to have a civil case and a criminal case come out of the same event. For example, a prosecutor might charge you with criminal domestic violence and then your partner might sue you for damages.[3]
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  3. 3
    Go over the evidence against you with your attorney. As the defendant in either a civil or criminal case, you're entitled to see all of the evidence against you. Your attorney will evaluate the evidence to determine your chances in the courtroom. Then, they'll give you advice based on that evaluation.[4]
    • The final decision is always yours—your attorney can't do anything without your consent, even if they're a public defender. Remember: they work for you.
    • Tell your attorney about any evidence you have that contradicts the evidence against you. Anything you have that brings the victim's story into question increases your chances of winning.
    • Even if your attorney recommends settling (civil) or taking a plea bargain (criminal), you can still fight if that's what you want to do. Just make sure it's actually in your best interests to do so.
  4. 4
    Decide what "winning" looks like to you. A win may look different depending on your circumstances, what actually happened, and what you want to happen in your relationship with the person accusing you. Let your attorney know your ideal resolution—they'll tell you the odds of that happening and give you a more realistic picture of what to expect. Here are some examples of what this might look like:
    • You and your partner had an argument that escalated and resulted in domestic violence charges. You've since made up and want to close this chapter and move on with your lives together. Your partner has refused to testify. File a motion to dismiss.[5]
    • You and your partner have separated and they want nothing to do with you. They bad-mouth you to everyone so you can't find anyone willing to testify on your behalf. You just want to have this over and done with. Accept a plea deal.[6]
    • The whole thing was a huge misunderstanding. You hurt your partner but you didn't mean to—it was a complete accident. Go to court and argue accident as your defense.
  5. 5
    Cooperate with your attorney and tell them everything. Anything you say to your attorney is subject to attorney-client privilege—that means your attorney can't tell anyone else what you said. Be completely honest with your attorney, even if it means sharing some things that you think might hurt your case. The only way your attorney can craft the best possible defense for you is if they know all the facts.[7]
  6. 6
    Establish your defense against the accusation. It's possible to win a domestic violence case simply by poking holes in the other side's case. After all, it's their case to prove. But you might also claim affirmative defenses—these you do have to prove.[8] Common defenses in domestic violence cases include:
    • Accident: You did hurt the victim, but your actions weren't intentional[9]
    • Self defense: You did act intentionally and injure the victim, but you only acted to defend yourself against the victim (in domestic violence cases, you can show a pattern of violent behavior on the part of the victim to prove self-defense)[10]
    • Consent: The injuries the victim sustained happened during consensual activity[11]
  7. 7
    Look for holes in the victim's story. Whether civil or criminal, it's not your job as a defendant to prove that you didn't do something. The burden of proof lies with the plaintiff (in civil cases) or the prosecution (in criminal cases). The more things you can find in their story that don't add up, the less likely they are to win.[12]
    • For example, your partner might claim you assaulted them on Saturday night, but you were out with your friends on Saturday night—and your friends are willing to testify to that. Your alibi makes it doubtful that you assaulted your partner on Saturday night.
    • Your job is a little easier in a criminal case because the prosecution must prove their case beyond a reasonable doubt. Anywhere you can raise doubt regarding their case, you increase your chances of winning.
    • In a civil case, the plaintiff only has to prove that their version of events is more likely than yours. This means some of the more far-fetched explanations you could come up with that might benefit you in a criminal case won't really help you in a civil one.[13]
  8. 8
    Talk to witnesses who might testify on your behalf. Domestic violence cases can be very polarizing. It's possible that people you thought you could count on will refuse to testify because they don't want to be seen as taking your side. Explain the situation as best you can and try not to take it personally.[14]
    • If there was anybody on the scene who witnessed the specific incident, it's definitely good to have them testify on your behalf—especially if they're strangers to both of you who just happened to be around.
    • You can also have people lined up to testify as character witnesses. These people don't necessarily talk about the alleged domestic violence. Instead, they talk about your reputation and character generally.
  9. 9
    Be on your best behavior leading up to your court date. A brush with the law will put you in a bad light. This is especially true if you were arrested and are facing criminal charges for domestic violence. The last thing you want to do is end up back in jail.[15]
    • If you were arrested and got out on bail, read the conditions of your release very carefully. Any violation of those conditions can land you right back in jail.
    • If you've been sued in civil court, this includes getting in any kind of argument with the person who sued you. Don't give them any more evidence they can introduce in court to show that you're an angry, violent person.
    • You also might have a protective order against you. Follow the terms of the order exactly and don't contact the victim in any way.
  10. 10
    Display a calm demeanor in court. You've been accused of being a violent person—perhaps a bit hot-headed as well. If you want to win, be on your best behavior in court. Take a few deep breaths when you need to calm yourself.[16]
    • Avoid even looking at the victim—they might accuse you of staring them down or trying to intimidate them. Look at the judge or keep your eyes straight ahead at all times.
    • Dress in clean, professional clothing, as though you were going to a job interview. More conservative attire will help people take you more seriously.
  11. 11
    File an appeal if you lose. If you were found guilty in criminal court, you have the right to at least one appeal—take advantage of it! Appeals are an especially good idea if the judge didn't admit evidence that would've helped your defense. You could also appeal in a criminal case, although the appellate court can refuse to hear it and let the lower court ruling stand.[17]
    • If you lose in court, talk to your attorney immediately and let them know you want to appeal. They'll evaluate the different bases of appeal that might be available to you and let you know your odds of success.
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Method 2
Method 2 of 2:

Proving Domestic Violence as a Victim

  1. 1
    Document your injuries or property damage. Use your documents to prove that the injuries or damage happened when and how you say they did. If you can, take pictures of your injuries or the damage as soon as possible, then document the healing process.[18]
    • If you take pictures on your smartphone, don't edit them in any way. Try to take photos in natural light without a lot of shadows so any marks on your skin are clearly visible.
    • Digital photos taken with a smartphone automatically include the date and time they were taken in the metadata. This information can be retrieved by the prosecutor or your attorney.
  2. 2
    Line up potential witnesses who saw the incident first-hand. People who were there when the incident occurred can be some of your best evidence—especially if they're strangers. If the incident happened at home, you might ask your neighbors if they saw or heard anything.[19]
    • If a witness considers themselves a friend of both of you and says they don't want to get in the middle of it, tell them you're not asking them to pick sides. You're just asking them to tell the court what they saw.
  3. 3
    Keep a diary of continuing incidents of domestic violence. You can't necessarily use this in court to prove that each incident happened, but it can be used to show a pattern of behavior. If your partner regularly gets violent, document each incident as best you can.[20]
    • You can also use your written account to jog your memory as you prepare for your court date.
  4. 4
    Apply for a protective order. If you haven't already, file a petition for a protective order with your local court. You won't have to pay any filing fees and judges tend to act on these petitions relatively quickly.[21]
    • This document merely tells the person they're not allowed to contact you or come near you, but it has teeth—if they violate the protective order, they'll be sent to jail immediately.
  5. 5
    Meet with the prosecuting attorney if criminal charges were filed. The prosecutor will talk to you about the incident that gave rise to the charges, as well as your general relationship with the defendant. Be open and honest with the prosecutor when answering their questions. If you have photos, videos, or other evidence related to the case, let them know about it.[22]
    • Most prosecutor's offices have victim advocates to help you as well. They can explain court procedures, help you navigate the criminal justice center, and connect you with other resources you might find beneficial.
    • Keep in mind that the prosecuting attorney isn't your attorney—they represent the state and the state's interest. You are the victim, and a witness, but you are not the prosecuting attorney's client and don't have attorney-client privilege with them.
  6. 6
    Hire an attorney for civil cases. Any case involving domestic violence can get heated really fast. Hiring an attorney takes some of the pressure off of you so you have one less thing to worry about. Look for a local attorney who has experience in the courtroom with domestic violence cases. They'll advocate for you and help you navigate the system.[23]
    • If you're worried about paying for an attorney, look for affordable options in your area. You can start with your local legal aid society. Nonprofit victim advocacy clinics might also have legal resources available.
    • Any attorney who has experience with victims of domestic violence also understands what you're going through—they'll listen to you and support you every step of the way.
  7. 7
    Collect evidence to counter any defenses claimed. If the defendant claims self-defense or consent, it's up to them to prove those things. But any evidence you can find to counter them will increase your chances of winning the case.[24]
    • For example, if the defendant claims they acted in self-defense because you're a violent person and they were afraid you'd hurt them first, witness testimony that you're a calm, gentle person with no history of violence would counter their claim.
  8. 8
    Be prepared to testify. Testifying in a domestic violence case can be really scary—that's one of the main reasons victims aren't required to testify. But if you want to win your case, testifying is your best option. Your attorney will practice with you to help you get ready for the big day.[25]
    • Talk to your attorney about your fears—they'll help you through them. If you're worried the defendant will bring up things about you that are embarrassing or shameful, talk about that too. Your attorney can help you prepare for the worst.
    • Your attorney will also ask you questions the other attorney is likely to ask. If any of them upset you, talk to your attorney about it—they'll give you strategies for handling your emotions in court.
    • Talk to close friends and family as well. Lean on them for support and let them help you in any way they can leading up to your court date. You'll feel stronger for it.
  9. 9
    Dress neatly and conservatively for court. Dressing like you would for a job interview is typically the way to go. Don't try to look like someone you aren't—just a clean and polished version of yourself. Think about what you would wear if you want someone to respect you and take you seriously.[26]
    • Wear something that makes you feel strong and empowered. For example, a navy blue pantsuit with a button-down shirt could help you feel strong and in control.
    • You might even want to go shopping for something new so you don't have any pre-existing associations with what you wear to court. You can't go wrong with navy blue or neutrals like gray.
  10. 10
    Respond to questions on the stand calmly and honestly. Typically, your attorney (or the prosecution, in a criminal case) will call you first as a witness. After they've asked you some questions to establish your case and tell your story, the defendant's attorney will have the opportunity to ask you some questions as well.[27]
    • When you're asked a question, pause and repeat the question back to yourself in your head. Then, give your answer. Speak slowly in a loud, clear voice so you can be heard.
    • The defendant's attorney might deliberately say things to upset or antagonize you. Handle the cross-examination by remaining calm and sticking to the facts.
    • If you need a minute to collect yourself, just ask! The judge understands and will have no problem giving you some time.
  11. 11
    Appeal a civil decision that doesn't go in your favor. If you don't come out on top, you might be able to appeal that decision. Talk to your attorney about your chances on appeal. You might stand a good shot if the judge made a significant legal error—for example, by not letting in a piece of evidence that should have been seen.[28]
    • If the defendant is found not guilty on criminal charges, prosecutors can't appeal that verdict. However, you can still seek a restraining order if you don't already have one and you want to keep the defendant away from you.
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Warnings

  • This article discusses how to win a domestic violence case in the United States. If you live in another country, the process might be different. Talk to a local attorney who specializes in domestic violence law.
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  • The victim in domestic violence criminal cases can't drop the charges—only the prosecutor can. Even if the victim decides they don't want to go through with it, the prosecutor can still choose to proceed with the case.[29]
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  1. https://open.lib.umn.edu/criminallaw/chapter/5-2-self-defense/
  2. https://leg.mt.gov/bills/mca/title_0450/chapter_0020/part_0020/section_0110/0450-0020-0020-0110.html
  3. https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/burden_of_proof
  4. https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/beyond_a_reasonable_doubt
  5. https://law.indiana.edu/instruction/tanford/b723/06char/T06.pdf
  6. https://www.nccourts.gov/help-topics/criminal-law/criminal-cases
  7. https://texaslawhelp.org/article/tips-for-the-courtroom
  8. https://www.americanbar.org/groups/public_education/resources/law_related_education_network/how_courts_work/appeals/
  9. https://www.womenslaw.org/laws/preparing-court-yourself/hearing/all
  10. https://www.womenslaw.org/laws/preparing-court-yourself/hearing/all
  11. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/invisible-chains/202102/tips-testifying-about-domestic-abuse-or-sexual-assault
  12. https://www.courts.ca.gov/selfhelp-domesticviolence.htm?rdeLocaleAttr=en
  13. http://prosecutor.cuyahogacounty.us/en-US/victim-witness-advocacy.aspx
  14. https://www.courts.ca.gov/1076.htm?rdeLocaleAttr=en
  15. https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/affirmative_defense
  16. https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/legal/taking-the-stand-in-domestic-violence-tips-for-testifying
  17. https://www.womenslaw.org/laws/preparing-court-yourself/hearing/all
  18. https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/legal/taking-the-stand-in-domestic-violence-tips-for-testifying
  19. https://www.womenslaw.org/laws/preparing-court-yourself/hearing/all
  20. https://www.nccourts.gov/help-topics/criminal-law/criminal-cases

About This Article

Clinton M. Sandvick, JD, PhD
Co-authored by:
Doctor of Law, University of Wisconsin-Madison
This article was co-authored by Clinton M. Sandvick, JD, PhD and by wikiHow staff writer, Jennifer Mueller, JD. Clinton M. Sandvick worked as a civil litigator in California for over 7 years. He received his JD from the University of Wisconsin-Madison in 1998 and his PhD in American History from the University of Oregon in 2013. This article has been viewed 57,104 times.
1 votes - 100%
Co-authors: 5
Updated: June 27, 2022
Views: 57,104
Categories: Domestic Violence
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