How to Act Around a Girl Who Knows You Fancy Her

Co-authored by John Keegan

Last Updated: September 30, 2021 References

It may seem like it’s the worst thing in the world to have the girl that you like find out that you like her, but it really isn’t. Think about it. She already knows, so you don’t have to work to show her that you like her. All you have to do is play it cool, show her that you’re confident, get to know her, and who knows, it could be the start of a meaningful relationship. The ball is in her court!

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Interacting with Her

1
Smile warmly when you see her.^{[1]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Playing it cool doesn’t mean keeping a cool distance. On the contrary, whenever you see her, you should look her in the eye and give her a big smile. After all, you like her and she knows it, so why not show her that you’re happy to see her by flashing a big smile whenever you see her.^{[2]
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- Try not to be creepy by smiling for too long or staring at her.
2
Ask her about her day. A little bit of small talk is a great way to get used to talking to her so you’re not so nervous around her. It also shows that you’re interested in hearing her talk about her problems as well, which is an important part of a relationship.^{[3]
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- Ask her simple things like, “Hey, how’s it going?” or “How are you doing today?”
- If she seems upset, you could ask her something like, “Everything okay?”
- Don’t be too pushy, though.^{[4]
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  Expert Source
  
  John Keegan
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} If she doesn’t respond or she replies with a short, one-word answer like, “fine,” then back off.
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3
Try making a few jokes with her. Show her that you’re comfortable being around her by breaking the tension with some humor. If you’re in a meeting or a class together, make a joke about something funny that happens or quote a funny line from a movie that you enjoy.^{[5]
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- Try making silly jokes. Ask her, “What’s brown and sticky?” When she says, “What?” say, “A stick!”
- Don’t tease her too much or make a joke at her expense or it could push her away.^{[6]
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  Expert Source
  
  John Keegan
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.}
- Try not to patronize her by using jokes or quoting movies that you know that she likes. Be genuine and show her your sense of humor.
4
Talk to her about the things that she’s into. Ask her about her interests and hobbies. Talk to her about her favorite music, what movies she likes, or what food she loves to eat. You may share common interests that can bring you closer together.^{[7]
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- Be excited when you have something in common. If she says that her favorite band is The Black Keys, and they’re your favorite band, too, then get excited and say, “I love them, too!”
- Even if you don’t have anything in common, the only way to find that out is to talk to her.
- Make an effort to express interest in her passions, even if they’re unfamiliar to you.
- Be honest about your interests so she can learn more about you as well.
5
Spend time with her in a different context so you can get to know her. If you know her from school, work, or a business that you frequent, try to hang out with her in a different setting. Changing the scenery can open up different topics of conversation and allow you to talk more openly with her.^{[8]
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- For example, if you know her because she works at a place that you visit often, she may have to behave a certain way because you are a customer.
Tip: If she tells you that she’s attending an event, tell her that you may meet her there. If she seems open to the idea, then great! If not, don’t force the issue, and give her some space.
6
Be yourself when you interact with her. Don’t change your behavior because you think it will impress her. It will only stress you out and it will give her the wrong idea of who you are as a person. She may also be able to see right through it and will see you as fake.^{[9]
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- For example, if she mentions that she likes a certain band and you haven’t heard of them but you tell her that they’re your favorite too, you’re setting yourself up for failure. If she asks you what your favorite song is or what you like about them, the ruse will fall apart.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Keeping it Cool Around Her

1
Stay calm whenever you’re around her. Of course, you’re going to feel a little nervous whenever you’re around a girl who knows you fancy her, but you need to try your best to stay relaxed and calm. She will notice that you’re confident and cool if you aren’t a nervous wreck.^{[10]
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- Take some deep breaths before you talk to her.
- Prepare yourself before you go somewhere that you know she will be by psyching yourself up.
- Try listening to music that you like to boost your confidence.
2
Act like you don’t care that she knows you like her. Being indifferent to the fact that you know that she knows that you like her can make her attracted to you. It shows that you’re confident and cool and you aren’t worried about things. Acting fearful or nervous around her will make her think that you’re insecure, which is a really unattractive trait.^{[11]
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- Don’t be dismissive or callous to her, you don’t want to come off as rude and uncaring.
- Greet her with confidence when you see her. Don’t try to hide or avoid her.
- If she doesn’t have the same feelings for you, don’t get angry or be cruel to her.
Tip: If you’re feeling really confident, acknowledge the fact that you like her. She already knows anyway. If she says or does something funny or cool, you could say something like, “See, now that’s why I like you!” Confidence is key!
3
Dress well and practice good hygiene. To boost your own confidence and to get her attention, you should dress to impress her. Wear clothes that fit you well and complement your features like your eyes or arms. Brush your hair and teeth and clean under your fingernails so she sees that you take care of yourself.^{[12]
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- Put on some cologne and deodorant.
- Be yourself. Don’t try to dress in a way that you think she will look. She will be able to tell that you’re being fake.
4
Realize that she is a normal person. Don’t fall into the trap of placing her on a pedestal or idolizing her. You may really, really like her, but she is a regular person like you. Keep that in mind when you’re around her, it will make you feel more comfortable.^{[13]
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Getting Closer to Her

1
Be her friend so you can get to know her.^{[14]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} If you’d like to possibly have a relationship with her, you need to get closer to her by being her friend first. Try eating lunch with her and other people so you spend time with her in a group setting. Offer to help her out with a project or just be a listening ear if she needs one.^{[15]
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- Become friends with her friends, too. If you want to have a relationship with her, you will need to have a good relationship with everyone in her life.
2
Flirt with her to see if she flirts back with you. As you get closer to her, try a little playful flirting to see if she’s at all interested in you. Try complimenting her appearance or even teasing her a little bit to engage with her. If you’re going to have a romantic relationship with her, it’s important to have romantic chemistry.^{[16]
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- Compliment her when she does something different with her appearance. If she gets a new haircut, say, “Your hair looks great!”
- If she giggles and flirts back or initiates her own flirting, it could be the start of a romantic relationship.
- If she becomes despondent or upset when you try to flirt with her, it may be a sign that it just isn’t meant to be. But you can only find out if you try!
3
Ask her for her phone number and send her playful texts. If you’ve gotten closer to her, you can ask her for her phone number so you can communicate with her there. Texting is a great way of talking to her casually. You can ask her about her day, or make plans to meet up without the pressure of an in-person conversation.^{[17]
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- Text her something like, “Hey, I’m super bored, what are you up to?” She may respond saying that she wants to meet up or she may start a text conversation with you.
- Don’t blow up her phone with a bunch of texts and don’t get angry if she takes a long time to respond to your texts or doesn’t respond at all.
4
Send her a friend or follow request on social media. You can learn a lot about her life, interests, and hobbies from her social media accounts. Add her as a friend on Facebook so you’re connected there and can send messages and comments. If she has an Instagram account, go and follow her profile so you can like her posts.^{[18]
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- Connecting on social media also gives her a chance to learn more about you and your life.
- Like and comment on her posts, but don’t overdo it. If you go and like every post from the past 6 weeks, it could make you look creepy.
5
Share memes with her to share humor and interests. Memes are a great way to make her laugh and show her that you understand her sense of humor as well. You can text memes to her or tag or share them via social media so she sees them there.^{[19]
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- Try making your own memes that include inside jokes between you and her.
Tip: Show her that you appreciate her humor and interests by sharing a meme that only she would think is funny. For example, if she likes puns, but you hate them, you could share a meme that has an awful pun and say something like, “Only you would think this is funny.”
6
Don’t be clingy or overbearing. Whatever you do, don’t be too pushy and constantly laud her with praise and questions. Give her her space and if she likes you back, she will let you know. The last thing you want to do is drive her away by creeping her out or even scaring her by being too clingy.^{[20]
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- If she tells you that she needs space, say something like, “No problem, I understand. It wasn’t my intention.”
- Never follow her around or approach her against her will. It’s rude, inappropriate, creepy, and grounds for a restraining order.

Expert Q&A

Question

What should I do if the girl I like knows that I like her?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Just keep talking to her as you normally would. If she's interested in you, she'll maintain a conversation so you can get to know each other better. If she doesn't seem interested, accept that and possibly move on to someone new.