How to Appreciate Someone's Effort and Care

Co-authored by Tami Claytor and Megaera Lorenz, PhD

Last Updated: October 25, 2022 References

An act of kindness is one of the most special gifts that a person can give. If you’re wondering about the best way to express your gratitude to someone who’s helped you, you’re in the right place! We’ve pulled together a few suggestions for showing your appreciation to that special person in your life.

Things You Should Know

There’s no replacement for a sincere “thank you” and a kind comment.
A handwritten thank-you note or a personalized gift are a great way to express appreciation in a more intimate way.
You might organize a party in their honor or return the favor by doing something to make their life easier.

1

Say “thank you.”

It’s a simple but powerful gesture. It’s easy to forget to say “thank you,” but those two little words can make a world of difference.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Tami Claytor
Etiquette Coach
Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.} Next time someone goes out of their way to do something kind or helpful for you, immediately acknowledge it by thanking them.^{[2]
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Research source}
- It’s never too late to say thank you! If you don’t remember it in the moment, give them a call or thank them the next time you see them.
- If plain old “thank you” just doesn’t cut it, try something like, “I’m incredibly grateful to you,” “You’re so kind,” or “Wow, it means so much to me that you did that!”

2

Tell them specifically what you appreciate.

Your gratitude will feel more sincere and meaningful this way. It feels good to receive thanks, but even better to hear exactly what you did right. Instead of just saying “Thanks” or “I appreciate you” and leaving it at that, go into detail about what the person did and what kind of impact their actions had.^{[3]
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- For example, “When I was in the hospital, you really went out of your way to check in on me every day and make sure I had everything I needed. Thank you, that really meant a lot to me.”

3

Express how their actions made you feel.

Gratitude is about recognizing someone’s positive impact on your life. Open up to the other person about what their care and effort has meant to you.^{[4]
X
Research source} Be sincere and use words that describe your emotions.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Tami Claytor
Etiquette Coach
Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.} For instance:
- “I feel so grateful for everything you’ve done!”
- “Your presence during all this has been extremely comforting.”
- “I was really stressed out, but your help has taken a huge load off of my mind.”

4

Write an old-fashioned thank-you note.

Putting your gratitude in writing makes it more powerful. Plus, the recipient can save your note and read it again any time they need their day brightened! Take a few minutes to put your feelings down in writing. Send the note in the mail, leave it someplace for them to find, or bring it to them in person.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Tami Claytor
Etiquette Coach
Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.}^{[7]
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Trustworthy Source
Harvard Medical School
Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public
Go to source}
- To give your note an extra special, personal touch, you could even design your own thank-you card.
- Your letter doesn’t have to be long, but make it sincere and heartfelt. For instance, say something like, “Dear Amina, I can’t begin to thank you enough for all your help with organizing Mom’s retirement party. You helped make it a special evening that she’ll never forget! We’re all so grateful. Best wishes, Soren.”

5

Give them a meaningful gift.

Choose something that reflects who they are or what they mean to you. The real value of a gift lies in the meaning behind it.^{[8]
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Trustworthy Source
Harvard Business Review
Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices
Go to source} To show how much you value someone’s efforts, give them a gift that comes from the heart. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy or expensive.
- For instance, you could give them a bouquet of flowers from your own garden, a care package with some of their favorite treats in it, or a framed photo of a meaningful moment you had together.
- Include a note with the gift expressing your gratitude. For example, “This is just a little something to say ‘thank you’ for all you’ve done. You’re truly appreciated!”

6

Put in a good word for them with others.

Make sure you’re not the only one who appreciates them. If it’s appropriate to do so, acknowledge the person’s effort in a public way. Or, mention it to someone influential in their life who is likely to take notice. This can be a great way to make a positive impact on someone’s life while expressing your appreciation at the same time.
- For instance, if someone goes above and beyond to help you in a work setting, consider telling their supervisor about it or leaving a positive review and mentioning them by name.
- You could also give the person a shoutout on social media. For example, make a post on Facebook saying, “I just want to say how truly grateful I am to my friend Bertie for helping me get through this tough time. He’s been amazing!”

7

Organize a celebration in their honor.

Take them out for dinner or throw a surprise party. Get together with a few friends, coworkers, or family members who share in your appreciation for this special someone. Work together to plan a celebration that will be truly enjoyable and meaningful for them.
- Look for ways to express your appreciation during the gathering. For instance, you might lead the other guests in a toast to the guest of honor, tell a brief story about something they did that you’re grateful for, or present them with a special gift.
- For example, you could give a toast and say something like, “We’re all here to celebrate Edith tonight. Without her hard work, this project would never have become a reality!”

8

Return the favor.

Ask them if there’s anything you can do for them. Or, simply show up and offer to help! For example, you might run some errands for them, help them complete a difficult task, or just be there next time they need moral support.^{[9]
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- Say something like, “You were so helpful to me when I was studying for that big exam, and I’d love to return the favor. Is there anything I can do, like helping you proofread your essay?”
- Even if the other person rejects your offer for help, it will likely mean a lot to them that you asked!

9

Pay it forward.

Let their kindness become contagious. Science shows that gratitude is a powerful motivator with the potential to change the world for the better by creating a ripple effect.^{[10]
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Trustworthy Source
Greater Good Magazine
Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living
Go to source} If you appreciate something that somebody did for you, look for ways to do the same for others!
- For instance, if a family member helped you move to a new apartment, make a pledge to do the same next time somebody else you know has to move.
- You can make it even more special by telling the person that they motivated you to help others. For instance, “Your generosity has been so inspiring! I wanted to let you know that I just made a charitable donation in your name, to honor what you did for me.”