How to Be Big and Beautiful

Co-authored by Elle Monus

Last Updated: January 10, 2023

In today's society it is hard to be accepted as an obese or even overweight "attractive" female, but there are certain steps you can take to make yourself feel more attractive and consequently for other people to be attracted to you.

Steps

1
Make sure your hair is working for you. Get a cut that flatters your face shape and keeps head to body proportions in mind. (Note, too long hair on plus sized ladies often drags the body down. Too short hair gives the "pin head" effect, that of a small head on a larger body.) Often, dying it a shade or two darker or lighter can make a much more striking appearance than "mousy" hair color. If your natural hair color is boring, consider finding out about your color type and dying it a more flattering shade. (Cold or warm color types, or if more in depth, the seasons: Spring, Fall, Winter, and Summer. This information can be found in color type analysis books, and is also very useful in picking out make up and clothing colors that flatter you the most.)
2
Take the time to apply make up. A well made up face, but not overly dramatic that makes you look like a clown, presents a well groomed image. Learn to accentuate your best features and how to contour your face. (Get a make up consultation or invest in a book on applying make up.) In general, taking care of yourself will give people an impression of confidence and self worth. The confidence you will feel from being well maintained, will make your great personality the thing people remember about you, not the few extra pounds.

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3
Invest in your teeth, and maintain your skin. Keep your nails well groomed. These small things make a huge difference. Looking healthy and clean is always attractive!
4
Find at least 5 things about yourself that you like, and think about those when you get down. Perhaps write them down so you can look at them whenever you need to Take the time to showcase those features. For example, do you have pretty hands? Then wear nice rings and maintain your nails.
5
Fake it! No one is completely body confident. Be positive about yourself to others, and others will see you in that light. Nothing makes a person look more unattractive to others, regardless of weight, than a person who is constantly make self-deprecating comments. However, if you seem happy and confident with the way you look, people will be drawn to your personality. Remember also many men find larger women attractive.
6
Make clothing work for you. Get a book on body proportion analysis (or image consulting guides), and figure out what cuts work for your body type. (For example, straight leg jeans balance wide hips, so keep away from jeans that taper!) Never wear too baggy, it will make you larger then you are. Never wear too tight clothing, it will accentuate your problem spots. Wear well fitted cuts, they will put you in the best light. You do not need to limit yourself to black, although darker colors do slenderize, but also be wary of too extremely bright colors and patterns that scream circus tent. Basic pieces can also be jazzed up through bold and creative accessories, which are always conversation starters.
7
Take from the trends what works for you. If you have trouble looking for trendy clothes that fit your size then consider wearing more timeless pieces and making them up to date with cheap trendy accessories that you will only wear for the season. Wear only one or two trendy pieces to look in, less is always more. Otherwise have good quality accessories to make an outfit. Invest in good pieces, they often have a longer life then your clothes. Good shoes, bags, and jewelry can make a cheap outfit look more expensive.
8
Get regular exercise, with physician's o.k. Regular work outs such as walking and swimming are great and help to tone your muscles, give you a healthy glow, help you to feel great and move more gracefully.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can you flatter your body shape when you're a plus-sized woman?

Elle Monus
Image Consultant
Elle Monus is an Image Consultant and the Co-Founder of True Image Group. With over 11 years of fashion industry experience, she specializes in holistic approaches to branding, size-inclusive image consulting, and personal styling. Additionally, Elle has had the opportunity to work on several New York Fashion Week shows and has been featured in multiple media outlets, such as Racked.

Elle Monus

Image Consultant

Expert Answer

Size doesn’t matter nearly as much as shape. After all, you are dressing to create an overall shape, not size. Finding your body shape is key. If you’re an hourglass, create a balanced look by finding items that nip in at the smallest part of your natural waist and add volume or width to the smaller half of your body. If you’re an inverted triangle body shape (widest in your top third), create volume in your bottom third in order to balance your body with A-line skirts and wide-leg pants. Apple shapes (widest in your tummy with smaller arms and legs) do well in empire waist tops and jeggings to prevent excess fabric in the hips and thighs while also fitting your tummy. Rectangles (very little curvature in the bust and hips) can wear almost anything! My favorite look is the classic shift dress, which also has very little curve built in so you can create a gorgeous retro-inspired look that most other body shapes have a tough time recreating. Pears (widest in your hips) do well with a solid bottom and a bold top. Pair a statement necklace or earrings to draw attention upwards creating the illusion of balance.
Question

What types of clothes do you recommend for someone with broad shoulders?

Elle Monus
Image Consultant
Elle Monus is an Image Consultant and the Co-Founder of True Image Group. With over 11 years of fashion industry experience, she specializes in holistic approaches to branding, size-inclusive image consulting, and personal styling. Additionally, Elle has had the opportunity to work on several New York Fashion Week shows and has been featured in multiple media outlets, such as Racked.

Elle Monus

Image Consultant

Expert Answer

Men’s clothing is often cut for broad shoulders, but if you’re having trouble finding the right fit, size up and tailor at your waist. You could also consider a brand that starts with custom measurements. Women's clothing is not always cut for broad shoulders, otherwise known as the inverted triangle body shape. A great casual option is a dolman sleeve, where the shoulder seam falls further down the shoulder. This gives you extra room in order to avoid any pulling in the fabric at your shoulders or bust. To balance your shape, create width in your bottom half by opting for a wide leg, bootcut or flare leg pant. If skirts are more your thing, try a a-line cut that skims your curves and provides a bit of outward structure.
Question

How can you flatter your body shape when you're a plus-sized man?

Elle Monus
Image Consultant
Elle Monus is an Image Consultant and the Co-Founder of True Image Group. With over 11 years of fashion industry experience, she specializes in holistic approaches to branding, size-inclusive image consulting, and personal styling. Additionally, Elle has had the opportunity to work on several New York Fashion Week shows and has been featured in multiple media outlets, such as Racked.

Elle Monus

Image Consultant

Expert Answer

Men's big & tall fashion is still a bit underdeveloped, so picking classics in structured fabrics like thick, cable knit cardigans, investing in a quality pair of jeans and having one tailored blazer for semi-casual wear will get you through most anything.

Warnings

Although being overweight is stereotyped as being unhealthy, some people are just naturally that way. Eat right and get regular exercise. Don't go on diets- there's an example of a whole industry made on making people feel inadequate. And if you really aren't eating healthy, go see a doctor about it. Health & beauty aren't measured in pounds, they're measured by society.

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Don't be over dramatic about the way you look, we all have hang-ups and you just need to learn to accept them.

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