How to Be Flirty With Your Boyfriend at School

Co-authored by Cher Gopman

Last Updated: March 4, 2023 References Approved

Having a boyfriend that attends the same school is fun, but sometimes it can be difficult to figure out how to flirt during school hours. You shouldn’t act inappropriately by showing too much physical affection. Yet, you don’t want to show too little interest. Flirting during school requires a balance of subtlety and obviousness, as well as effort. To flirt with your boyfriend in school, you should initiate conversation, show affection, and do things for each other.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Flirting in Conversation

1
Compliment him. Complimenting your boyfriend is a simple and effective method of flirting. It’s sometimes fun to tease your boyfriend, but you should compliment him too. Your boyfriend will appreciate knowing what you like about him, and it will boost his confidence. Let him know that you think he looks nice, that you like his hair, or give him praise when he has done well on a test.^{[1]
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- Make the compliments specific to him. Think about what he likes, and what he does well. Tell him he does a great job in gym class if he’s into sports. Let him know that you really liked his English essay if he enjoys writing.
- Compliment him, but don’t overdo it. Too many compliments can seem insincere.
2
Pass him a note in the hall. Most everyone has a phone nowadays, so passing a note can seem a little out-of-date. The fact that note passing isn’t as common is what makes it fun and flirty. It’s different from the usual, and it takes more thought and effort than sending a quick message through social media or text. Take a piece of paper from your notebook, write a message, fold it up, and hand it to him during an appropriate time.^{[2]
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- Do not pass a note during class, or you might get in trouble. Wait to pass a note in the hall or during lunch.
- The note can say anything you want. Short and sweet is flirtier than a sappy, long love letter, though. You can write “I’ve been thinking about you,” or “You look really awesome today.”
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3
Ask questions. Most people like to talk about themselves and enjoy when someone shows interest in them. You might already know quite a bit about your boyfriend, but there is always more to learn. If he is talking, ask questions about what he is talking about. You can also ask questions about his past, his daily life, and his interests.^{[3]
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Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.}
- If he is talking about a game he played, ask him to tell you more about how the game is played.
- Ask about what he likes to do after school, what he wants to do when he gets older, and what his favorite childhood memory is.
4
Show off your sense of humor. A sense of humor is always attractive. It shows that you don’t take things too seriously, that you know how to laugh and make people laugh, and you have the ability to let things go.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.} Don’t be afraid to tell jokes or laugh when you find something funny. You can also find the humor in whatever situation you find yourself in with your boyfriend.^{[5]
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- Find the humor in common things. Joke about the weather, about class, or something that happened in school.
- Think about your and your boyfriend’s sense of humor. What makes you laugh? What makes your boyfriend laugh? Those are the things you will want to joke and laugh about.
5
Send him a text. Sending notes is fun, but sometimes it is easier to send a flirty text. You don’t have to wait for him to send you a message. You can message him first. Don’t send a simple “hi.” Instead, send him a sweet or funny opening text, like “I saw you falling asleep in class today.”^{[6]
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- Use emoticons, especially the winks.
- Send him a text that you were happy to see him in class, or that you are looking forward to seeing him.
- Don’t text him back immediately when he responds. Wait at least a few minutes.
- Avoid sending a text in class. Wait for an appropriate time.
6
Ask him out. Make plans to continue your flirting outside of school. It’s okay to ask him to hang out or go on a date after school. You can ask do to something specific, or leave it open-ended. Boyfriends will often appreciate when the other person takes initiative to ask them out.^{[7]
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- You can leave it open-ended by asking “What are you doing after school or this weekend?”
- Be specific by saying “I’ve been wanting to see this movie. Do you want to go with me?”
- Ask your parents permission if you are not yet at an appropriate dating age.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Showing Physical Affection

1
Sit next to him. Take it slow by sitting next to him whenever you see the opportunity. Sit next to him in class, at lunch, during break, or at a sport’s game. You can take this opportunity to put your head on his shoulder or hold onto his arm. He might be shy, so ask to sit next to him or do it without asking.^{[8]
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- Don’t be too close to him if it’s inappropriate during class.
2
Hold his hand. Holding hands is a sweet and simple gesture. You can brush your hand up against his to hint that you want to hold his hand, or you can simply reach out and hold his hand. Sit next to him while holding hands, or do it while walking down the hallway. The amount of time you hold hands can be as short as a few seconds, or as long as a few minutes.^{[9]
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- Try to hold hands for a short amount of time during school hours.
3
Hug him. Most people appreciate a hug, especially your boyfriend. A hug is a quick way to show physical affection without overdoing it. Give him a quick hug in between class, or a longer hug when you are saying goodbye at the end of the school day. You can give a quick side hug with one arm, or a full on hug. It is better to keep it quick during the school day to avoid getting in trouble.^{[10]
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- Spray some perfume on the back of your neck so that he will smell it when going in for a hug.
4
Give him a quick kiss. Kissing during the school day can lead to trouble if it is overdone or too obvious. Instead, leave the kissing to the beginning or end of the school day and between classes when no one will be watching. Give him a quick kiss on the cheek, or a peck on the lips.^{[11]
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- Avoid making out or prolonged kissing. This goes beyond flirting, and no one wants to see it in the hallway.
- Don’t feel pressured to kiss if you have never done it before. Only kiss when you feel it is the right time for you and your boyfriend.
5
Make eye contact.^{[12]
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Expert Source

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.} Eye contact can be a powerful part of a relationship. It takes confidence to make and maintain eye contact. Your boyfriend might shy away at first, but don’t be afraid to make eye contact. You can make eye contact from across the room, or while holding a conversation.^{[13]
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- Lean into him when having a conversation and look into his eyes. This will show him that you are paying attention to him. Don’t make it uncomfortable by widening your eyes and hardly blinking. Be natural and respectful.
- Make eye contact as you pass him in the hallway if you don’t have time to stop.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Doing Things for Each Other

1
Make him something. You can make something for a holiday, special occasion, anniversary, or just because. You don’t have to bring him something expensive or extravagant, and it doesn’t have to be often. It can be a small and simple gesture that shows you like him. What you make him might be something sentimental, or something that you think he would be interested in. Give it to him whenever you see him during the day. If he offers you something he made, accept it and be sure to say a heartfelt thank you.^{[14]
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- Make him a scrapbook of your relationship if you’ve been together for a while.
- Paint a picture. It can be of something to do with his favorite sport team or movie.
2
Attend each other’s games or events. Go to any events of his, and don’t be afraid to ask for him to attend your events. It is kind to support each other in whatever you and your boyfriend enjoys. If he plays a sport at school, attend his games and cheer him on. You can also show up to events if he’s a part of a team or club, like the debate or academic bowl team. Simply showing up will remind him how much you like him.^{[15]
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- Say yes if he asks to attend any of your events. If you ask him to attend, and he says that he can’t, don’t be upset. Tell him that it’s okay, and he can attend another one.
- If he’s not part of a team, you can cheer him on while he’s playing a sport during gym class.
- Compliment and support his work if he’s into art, like film, drawing, or painting.
3
Bring him food and accept what he offers. A well known cliché is that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Most boys will appreciate the thought if you bring him a dessert for his lunch, or bake him his favorite treat. Ask him what his favorite dessert his and make sure he is not allergic to what you bring him. Give it to him for a snack during the day, to eat with his lunch, or to take home.^{[16]
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- Don’t be shy if he asks what your favorite dessert or food is. Tell him if he asks. A relationship works both ways. It is not only your job to make him food, or do favors for him. If he makes something you are allergic to, tell him that you appreciate the thought, but you can’t eat it. Offer for him to share it with his friends instead.
- Baking cookies and brownies is simple and won’t be difficult to take with you to school. A cake is great, but it may be hard to transport.
- Ask your parents for help if you aren’t sure how to bake or make food.
4
Help each other with something. It is always nice to help a person, and you should help your boyfriend when he is in need. He should also be thoughtful enough to help you. It is especially thoughtful to help him with something when he’s not expecting it. What you decide to help him with depends on the situation and who he is. It may be as simple as giving him an extra pencil when he’s going to take a test.^{[17]
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- Ask for help if you need it. Helping each other is a healthy part of any relationship.
- If you see that he’s struggling to carry his books, offer to hold one or two for him.
- Offer gently to help him with a project if he’s worried about completing it or doing it. Don’t help him cheat, but offering to take some stress off of him would be appreciated.
- Help him study for a test, or quiz him before an exam.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I be cute with my boyfriend when we're at school?

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Cher Gopman

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Try meeting up between classes so you can see each other. Hold hands while you walk together so you can spend time with him.
Question

How do you start to hold hands?

Community Answer

You can brush your hand up against his hand or touch it lightly to hint. You can also take the initiative to take his hand in yours. Don't continue holding his hand if he seems uncomfortable.
Question

How can I flirt with my boyfriend? I want to make it look super cute.

Community Answer

You can laugh at his jokes, compliment him, and support him when he's playing a game. Give him a hug when you see him and send him cute notes throughout the day.

Warnings

Avoid pressuring your boyfriend into anything that he doesn’t want. Stop when he tells you to stop.

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Don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Your boyfriend shouldn’t pressure you into anything that makes you uncomfortable.

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