How to Be Happy With Yourself and Life in General

Co-authored by Kamila Tan

Last Updated: November 22, 2022

Are you unhappy because others label you, leave you out, or put you down? Chin up - you don't need to be miserable because of what other people say or do. With perseverance, you can develop happiness skills that will help you to stay happy regardless of whatever difficulties life throws your way.

Steps

1
Realize that many of the people who pick on you are jealous or feel inferior. What sort of a person would go around trying to pick on every little flaw, just to make you feel bad? Don't let it get you down. Learn to think in a detached way. Don't allow your thoughts to influence your moods, emotions, and behavior.^{[1]
X
Expert Source

Guy Reichard
Executive Life Coach
Expert Interview. 20 September 2021.} Don't retaliate. Just smile, take a calming breath, and walk away.
2
Think about the idea of karma. What goes around, comes around. Someone might be mean to you, but the bad feeling will find it's way back to them. Keep your own karma in good shape by being kind to others!

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3
Write. Then write some more. Write any worries or negative feelings on a slip of paper, then tear it up and throw it away. You'll feel relieved, and as if you really have thrown your worries in the bin.
- Follow the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) that teaches the process of Cognitive Difussion. You can imagine that your thoughts are separate from you. Allow them to pass by like clouds or trains, or let them flow down a stream away from you.^{[2]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Guy Reichard
  Executive Life Coach
  Expert Interview. 20 September 2021.}
4
Labels are for losers. Hang around with everyone. Try not to give anyone or any group a label. Pretty soon you will realize that labels just give a preconceived notion about someone...not tell you anything about who they really are.
5
Take care of yourself. Eat and drink what's best for your body. Drink plenty of water and stay away from soda. Eat at least 5 portions of fruits and vegetables a day, and get a good nights sleep. Wash regularly and take pride in yourself. Do not try to combat negative thoughts. Let them pass without getting entangled with them. Otherwise, they may increase and intensify.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Guy Reichard
Executive Life Coach
Expert Interview. 20 September 2021.}
- Meditation can bring a lot of joy. With practice, you can use meditation techniques to help you access blissful emotions like gratitude and a feeling of wholeness. You can draw on these emotions any time you need a quick reset of emotions throughout the day, leaving you with a more positive mindset.^{[4]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Kamila Tan
  Life and Recovery Coach
  Expert Interview. 24 June 2022.}
6
Your relationships are one of the keys to happiness. Be aware of the people who bring you joy and make more room for them. For example, if one of your coworkers brings you joy, make a point each day to go up to them and say "hi"!^{[5]
X
Expert Source

Kamila Tan
Life and Recovery Coach
Expert Interview. 24 June 2022.}
- Consider which of your relationships are healthy and contributing to happiness.
- Ask yourself if there is anything you can do to strengthen your relationships.
- Determine if any of your relationships are not beneficial to you and what steps you should take to address this.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do I get rid of negative thoughts?

Guy Reichard
Executive Life Coach
Guy Reichard is an Executive Life Coach and the Founder of HeartRich Coaching & Training, a professional life coaching and inner leadership training provider based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He works with people to create more meaning, purpose, well-being, and fulfillment in their lives. Guy has over 10 years of personal growth coaching and resilience training experience, helping clients enhance and transform their inner worlds, so they can be a more positive and powerful influence on those they love and lead. He is an Adler Certified Professional Coach (ACPC), and is accredited by the International Coach Federation. He earned a BA in Psychology from York University in 1997 and a Master of Business Administration (MBA) from York University in 2000.

Guy Reichard

Executive Life Coach

Expert Answer

Stop trying to fight them! When you fight your thoughts, you amplify them and increase the chance that they'll pop up again. Instead, it's better to mindfully notice and accept your thoughts, letting them pass without getting entangled by them.
Question

How can I change my thoughts to be happy?

Guy Reichard
Executive Life Coach
Guy Reichard is an Executive Life Coach and the Founder of HeartRich Coaching & Training, a professional life coaching and inner leadership training provider based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He works with people to create more meaning, purpose, well-being, and fulfillment in their lives. Guy has over 10 years of personal growth coaching and resilience training experience, helping clients enhance and transform their inner worlds, so they can be a more positive and powerful influence on those they love and lead. He is an Adler Certified Professional Coach (ACPC), and is accredited by the International Coach Federation. He earned a BA in Psychology from York University in 1997 and a Master of Business Administration (MBA) from York University in 2000.

Guy Reichard

Executive Life Coach

Expert Answer

Utilize techniques that help you better relate to your thoughts overall. You might picture your thoughts as drifting clouds or passing trains, or imagine your thoughts flowing away down a stream.