How to Be Happy Even when Alone

Co-authored by Leah Morris and Amber Crain

Last Updated: January 17, 2023 References Approved

We all have trouble being alone from time to time. Whether we're single, living alone, or simply having a tough time tolerating being by ourselves, it can be a challenge to feel happy if you're lonely. In this article, we'll walk you through a variety of useful strategies for staying positive and living your best life when you're on your own.

Here are 14 tips and tricks to help you feel happy even when you’re alone.

1

Learn something new.

Exploring new hobbies keeps your mind active and engaged. It’s normal to feel a bit empty and restless when you’re lonely. Throwing yourself into interesting new hobbies can help with that! Use your alone time to explore something you've always wanted to do. Consider activities like:^{[1]
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Trustworthy Source
Harvard Business Review
Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices
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- Learning a new language
- Gardening
- Learning to play an instrument
- Arts and crafts projects

2

Create and follow a daily routine.

A set schedule can give you a sense of order and purpose. Being alone has a way of making people feel a bit lost. Taking a few minutes to create a daily schedule for yourself can help prevent that feeling! Schedule in regular daily activities, like work, exercise, or cooking, as well as hobbies and other pursuits.^{[2]
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- Schedule in communication, too, especially if you’re introverted and struggle with that. For example, pencil in a time to call or video chat with a friend.

3

Make a list of things you're grateful for.

It’s easy to focus on the negative when you’re by yourself. Everyone does this from time to time, but that doesn’t mean it’s healthy. When you feel yourself getting stuck in that negative headspace, make an effort to get yourself out by focusing on the positive things in your life. Grab a pen and some paper and write down an actual list!^{[3]
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- You can also try making these lists more often, like at the end the day or week.

4

Limit your time on social media.

Use social media to connect but log out if it feels negative. Social media is a great way to meet and interact with others, but it has downsides, too. If you notice that you’re using it to compare yourself to others, or if you feel bad about yourself or even lonelier after using social media, it might help to log out more often.^{[4]
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Trustworthy Source
Harvard Business Review
Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices
Go to source}
- When you're online, focus on meaningful conversations and positive interactions. Try to spend less time mindlessly scrolling.

5

Go for a walk.

A change of scenery can boost your mood and shift your perspective. If you’re feeling lonely, try to force yourself to get up and go for a brief walk. Just a few minutes outdoors can help you get your mind off things and refresh you.^{[5]
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- If negative thoughts start creeping in, gently remind yourself to refocus on your surroundings.

6

Volunteer in your community.

Giving your time and effort to help others eases loneliness. Everyone likes to feel needed; doing volunteer work is a selfless way for you to fulfill that need while also making a difference in your community. When you’re actively engaged and helping others, it’s hard to feel truly alone.^{[6]
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Research source} Look into volunteer opportunities like:
- Serving food at a soup kitchen
- Mentoring a young person in a Big Brother or Big Sister program
- Reading to the elderly in nursing homes
- Environmental or animal rights activism

7

Explore your feelings in a journal.

Writing down thoughts and feelings can help you make sense of them. Regular journaling can help you get to know yourself better through self-expression. You can also practice gratitude by keeping track of what you're grateful for in your journal. Take a few minutes each day make note of a few things.^{[7]
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Trustworthy Source
Greater Good Magazine
Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living
Go to source}

EXPERT TIP

Adam Dorsay, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist & TEDx Speaker
Dr. Adam Dorsay is a licensed psychologist in private practice in San Jose, CA, and the co-creator of Project Reciprocity, an international program at Facebook's Headquarters, and a consultant with Digital Ocean’s Safety Team. He specializes in assisting high-achieving adults with relationship issues, stress reduction, anxiety, and attaining more happiness in their lives. In 2016 he gave a well-watched TEDx talk about men and emotions. Dr. Dorsay has a M.A. in Counseling from Santa Clara University and received his doctorate in Clinical Psychology in 2008.

Adam Dorsay, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist & TEDx Speaker

Practicing gratitude can help you become happier, less depressed, and less anxious.

8

Focus on your positive qualities.

Make a list of things that you truly like about yourself. There’s nothing wrong with appreciating yourself! Take some time to celebrate your good qualities. Reflect on your best traits. You can even add these to your gratitude lists or journal.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Leah Morris
Life Coach
Expert Interview. 19 June 2020.}
- For example: "I do an awesome job at work. I'm a valued member of the team."
- Or look at yourself in the mirror and say, "I have kind eyes."
- If you're having trouble with this, ask a few trusted friends or family members what they think your best qualities are.

9

Exercise more often.

Studies show regular exercise eases loneliness and boosts mood. We all know exercise makes us physically fit, but did you know it also releases chemicals in your brain that make you feel positive and happy? It’s true! If you feel uncomfortable exercising around other people, start with easy activities you can do by yourself, like running, walking, or biking.^{[9]
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- If you don’t mind exercising with others, that may offer even more mood-boosting benefits! Consider trying fitness or yoga classes, or working out in a public gym.

10

Treat yourself like you’d treat a friend.

Speak to yourself with kindness and compassion—you deserve that. Positive self-talk takes practice, but it's worth it. For example, if you find yourself thinking negative thoughts such as, "Nobody wants to spend time with me," change this thought to something more realistic like, "People love spending time with me, but sometimes they get busy and that's normal."^{[10]
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Expert Source

Leah Morris
Life Coach
Expert Interview. 19 June 2020.}
- If you feel like you aren’t doing a good job at work or school, tell yourself something a friend might say like, “Are you serious? You're great at your job!"
- If you’re an introvert, keep in mind that that isn’t a flaw! It’s a completely natural and acceptable way to be.

11

Remind yourself that it's okay to be alone.

Remember that being alone and being lonely are different things! It might not seem like it now, but you can be alone without feeling lonely. Spend some time thinking of reasons why being alone can be a positive thing. You can even make a list and keep it with you!^{[11]
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Research source} Here are a few examples to get you started:
- The freedom to daydream and be introspective
- The ability to do things your way without compromising
- More time to focus on your health and well-being
- More time to practice and develop your skills

12

Explore mindfulness techniques.

Meditation and breathing exercises can help you feel calm and centered. Mindfulness is about being in the here-and-now, or living in the present moment, appreciating it without dwelling too much in the past or worrying about the future. Studies show that mindfulness techniques can help to reduce feelings of loneliness and anxiety.^{[12]
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Trustworthy Source
PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
Go to source} Consider exploring:
- Meditation
- Yoga
- Deep breathing exercises

13

Focus on quality connections over quantity.

Spend quality time with the people who are important to you. Focus on connecting and conversing with them instead of doing passive activities like watching television. If you feel secure about the connections in your life, you’re less likely to feel lonely when you’re at home or doing things by yourself.^{[13]
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Trustworthy Source
Harvard Business Review
Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices
Go to source}
- If it’s been a while, reach out and see how they’re doing! Make plans to catch up soon.
- When you’re alone, focus on the positive memories you have with the people you love.

14

Seek professional help if you’re struggling.

Therapy can help you feel heard and understood. Loneliness can be a symptom of a larger issue like depression. If you find yourself becoming increasing lonely or not being able to tolerate being alone, it may benefit you to seek professional help.^{[14]
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- Psychotherapy can be a useful way to understand yourself better.
- Contact your medical insurance provider for a list of approved psychologists, therapists, and psychiatrists.
- Avoid drinking alcohol or using other substances to cope with being alone.
- Be patient - good things will come.