Should You Talk to Your Crush After Being Rejected?

Written by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD | Edited by Danielle Blinka, MA, MPA

Last Updated: May 21, 2022 References

Rejection happens to everyone, but it still hurts when your crush turns you down. There are lots of reasons why your crush might not be interested, so don’t let this shake your confidence. You’re an amazing catch and totally brave, so keep putting yourself out there.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Expert Interview. 15 April 2019.} We'll walk you through what to do if you want to avoid them as well as how to break the ice and avoid the awkwardness if you still want to be friends.

This article is based on an interview with our licensed psychologist, Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. Check out the full interview here.

1

Send a polite response if they rejected you over text.

Say something like “thanks anyway” to prevent awkwardness. Generally, a short, friendly text is the way to go. It’ll help you quickly move past the rejection so you can stay friends with your crush.^{[2]
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Suzanna Mathews
Dating & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 18 August 2021.} Try something like this:
- “That’s cool! Have you finished watching Riverdale?”
- “No problem! ttyl”
- “Thanks for considering. See you at school!”

2

Wait until you feel ready to talk to them again in person.

You might not feel ready to talk to your crush right away, and that’s okay. There’s no rush, so take your time. In the meantime, hang out with your friends, who can remind you of how awesome you are.^{[3]
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- It’s okay to talk to your crush right away if that feels right to you. There are no rules when it comes to chatting with your crush.

3

Talk to your crush again if you still want to be friends.

You might be tempted to ignore your crush to avoid any awkwardness. However, the best way to feel comfortable around them again is to act like nothing happened. Chances are, your crush wants your friendship to feel normal again, too.^{[4]
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- Try to remember that everyone experiences rejection, even your crush!
- You might be surprised at how fast you feel comfortable talking to them again.

4

Use a conversation starter if you’re not sure what to say.

Asking a question or requesting a favor are both good starting points. You could also try saying something nice when you pass them in the hallway or telling them a joke to make them laugh.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Suzanna Mathews
Dating & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 18 August 2021.} Try something like:
- “I saw you got a perfect score on the Spanish exam. Could you help me study for Tuesday’s quiz?”
- “I can’t get my locker open. Can you help?”
- “Do you know what time the debate tournament starts this Saturday?”
- “Are you trying out for the school play this year?”
- “Cool jacket!”
- “I liked your slide show!”
- “What kind of tree fits into your hand? A palm tree.”
- “If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have? Big hands.”
- “What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little hoarse.”

5

Rock your favorite looks when you see them again.

You’ll feel a lot bolder if you know you look fabulous. Support yourself by wearing an outfit that makes you feel confident.^{[6]
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Trustworthy Source
Association for Psychological Science
Nonprofit organization devoted promoting trustworthy research and education in the psychological sciences
Go to source} You are a total babe, and your crush doesn’t know what they’re missing.
- Don’t worry about what your crush likes. You’ll look your best in an outfit that feels comfortable and fits your style.

6

Take slow, deep breaths if you feel nervous about seeing them.

Seeing your crush again after rejection can feel scary. This is totally normal, and your crush likely has no idea. When you’re about to see them, give yourself a moment to breathe in slowly, hold your breath for a second, and release. After a few deep breaths, you'll feel more relaxed.^{[7]
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- Let’s say you have a class with your crush. Before you go into the room, take a deep breath and tell yourself, “I’m awesome.”
- If you’re going to a school event where your crush will be present, steady yourself before you go inside by taking some deep breaths and telling yourself something like, “I look amazing.”

7

Be their friend for now.

Being friends with your crush may make them like you more. Plus, you still get to have them in your life. It might not be the same as dating, but your friendship can be really meaningful and fun.^{[8]
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John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.}
- It’s best to not have any expectations from them, aside from friendship.
- It’s okay to take a break from your friendship if it’s just too hard right now. Do what feels right to you.

8

Pursue other people rather than chasing your crush.

Dating around helps you get experience, which may impress your crush. Plus, it helps keep your mind off of your crush.^{[9]
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Expert Source

Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Expert Interview. 15 April 2019.} Ironically, your crush is more likely to look your way if they see you dating someone else.^{[10]
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John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Turn your attention to someone who’s caught your eye, and give them a shot.
- Ask your friends if they know anyone who’s single. They might be able to set you up on a blind date.
- Make a goal to talk to at least one new person every week. Who knows, you might find a new crush!

9

Focus on the future to prevent awkwardness.

Forget about the past rejection and move forward. Feeling awkward is the worst. Fortunately, that feeling will probably fade fast. The quickest way to get past the awkward phase is to leave your rejection in the past.^{[11]
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- If you don’t bring up what happened, it’s likely that your crush won’t, either.
- If you find yourself feeling awkward anyway, just call it out. Say, “This is weird, isn’t it?” Then, change the subject. Say, “Let’s talk about something else. What are you watching on Netflix right now?”

10

Be your best self so they see what they missed out on.

You deserve to be happy, so do what you love.^{[12]
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Suzanna Mathews
Dating & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 18 August 2021.} Post on social media daily about what’s going on in your life or about topics you find interesting. Hopefully, your crush will see that you’re a cool, fun person with lots of talents and interests.^{[13]
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John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.}
- Challenge yourself to take one cool photo everyday.
- You might post a pic of your outfit on Monday, a selfie with friends on Tuesday, yourself playing guitar on Wednesday, the sunset on the soccer field on Thursday, a book you’re reading on Friday, you and your friends at the movies on Saturday, and you playing with your dog on Sunday.

11

Give them—or yourself—space if either of you is uncomfortable.

Don’t worry if things feel weird at first. That’s totally normal and will fade away over time. If things feel too uncomfortable, you and your crush might decide to stop talking to each other for a while.^{[14]
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Research source} It’s hard to pause your friendship with someone you really like, but your other friends can be there for you.
- If it's you who needs space, reach out via text or social media when you feel comfortable talking to them again. Say, "Hey, how have you been?" or "I miss our hangs! What's up lately?"
- If your crush needs space, wait for them to make the first move.

12

Focus on moving on if you don’t want to just be friends.

Spend more time with your other friends, instead. You don’t need to tell your crush that you don’t want to be friends anymore. Just let your friendship drift apart. It hurts to let your crush go, but you’ll find someone who’s a much better match for you.^{[15]
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Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.}
- If your crush is dating someone new, it may be best to block them on social media so you don’t have to see pics of them with their new partner.^{[16]
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  Expert Source
  
  Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
  Licensed Clinical Psychologist
  Expert Interview. 15 April 2019.}

Warnings

Accept your crush’s response rather than trying to change their mind. They’re probably just not right for you, but you can find someone else who is.^{[19]
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