How to Be a Grown up and Mature Teen

Last Updated: August 30, 2022 References Approved

As you grow up and into your teenage years, you may feel the need to act more maturely. Your teen years should be used to help prepare you for adulthood and a life without constant guidance from your parents. Although maturing is a long process, there are several steps that you can take to become a more grown up and mature teenager.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Being Emotionally Mature

1
Surround yourself with mature people. Make sure that the friends that you hang out with on a daily basis are mature teenagers. Emulate mature characteristics of the adults or role models in your life. Take note of how they interact with people and conduct themselves in public. If you surround yourself with immature people, you are more likely to act immaturely.^{[1]
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- Find a role model that has a clear set of values and qualities that you admire.
- You might find a positive role model in your school, religious community, after school activity, or even within your family.
2
Learn new things every day. Understanding that you don’t know everything is important to becoming a mature teenager. Be receptive to learning new things. Make it a goal to learn something new each day. Learning doesn’t always have to happen in the classroom. You also learn from your parents, friends, and community members to do things like cook, drive, and manage money.^{[2]
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- Research things that you don’t know by looking it up on the internet, going to the library, or asking an expert.
- Ask questions while you are learning to gain a deeper understanding.
- Read lots of books to gain new perspective and spark your imagination. Reading is an excellent way to learn new things and gain perspective on all sorts of situations. Check out books from categories that interest you, such as sci-fi, fantasy, philosophy, nature, astronomy, and biography.
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3
Accept constructive criticism. Be open and welcome to feedback. Getting angry or defensive when you are given feedback is very childish. Actively listen and learn from the feedback that is given to you. In order to actively listen, you must listen with all of your senses instead of merely “hearing” what is being said.^{[3]
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- Accept feedback from your teachers to improve your schoolwork. For example, apply the comments on your last research paper to improve your next research paper.
- Receive constructive criticism from your coaches or mentors to succeed in afterschool activities. For example, apply the tips that your coach gives you during your practice to improve your technique.
- Ask for feedback when feedback is not initially given to you. For example, when you receive a bad grade on a paper with little feedback, consider staying after class to discuss the paper with your teacher. Say something like, “Could you give me some feedback on how to make this paper better? I would like to make a better grade on the next assignment for this class.”
4
Take responsibility for your actions. Don’t make excuses for things that you have done wrong. Resist the urge to blame other people, even if they were involved. Own up to your mistakes and learn from them. On the other hand, you should take credit for things that you have done well.^{[4]
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- Take responsibility for your grades instead of blaming them on your teachers.
- Admit to breaking or damaging something even if no one was watching.
- Accept and serve punishments given to you at school instead of asking your parents to talk to the administration.
5
Improve your communication skills. As you grow up you will need to learn to communicate more effectively. Effective and mature communication is key to gain the respect that you want from other people. Remember to use your manners and treat others with respect when you are talking to them. Listen to what others are saying and don’t jump to conclusions.^{[5]
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HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
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- When possible, have important conversations face-to-face instead of by phone, text, or email. Try to communicate with someone face-to-face every day to improve your interpersonal skills and avoid isolating yourself with technology.
- Focus on what the speaker is telling you. Put away any distractions.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Taking Care of Yourself

1
Learn to manage your money. You may be able to earn some money through a part-time or seasonal job or be given an allowance by your parents. Even though you may not have any serious financial commitments like rent or children, you should learn to manage your money.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Peggy Rios, PhD
Counseling Psychologist (Florida)
Expert Interview. 18 December 2020.} Create a budget for the money that you have and set some small savings goals so that you don’t have to ask your parents for more money before your next payday.^{[7]
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- Try asking your parents if they would be willing to teach you about basic money management, or look into a community course where you can learn basic money management skills.
- If you get a weekly allowance, list out all of your expenses for that week. Make sure to include gas, food, or money needed for activities. What is left over is money that you can spend or save for things you want.
- Resist giving into peer pressure to go somewhere and do something that you cannot afford to do.
- Keep a log of your spending and income to help stay on budget.
2
Make wise dietary decisions. Throughout your childhood your parents probably cooked for you and helped you make wise food choices. As you grow up, it is important to start to make some of these decisions for yourself. You need to resist the temptation to eat only junk food when your parents are not around.^{[8]
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Health information from the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases, a division of the U.S. National Institutes of Health
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- Remember to eat a balanced diet that includes a variety of vegetables, fruits, grains, proteins, and dairy products.
- Resist the urge to skip meals when you are running short on time.
- Learn to make wise dietary decisions by helping your parents prepare meals or grocery shop for your family.
3
Get enough sleep. You probably had a bedtime when you were younger. However, as you get older, your parents will probably allow you to make more decisions, including what time you go to bed. Don’t be tempted to stay up all night, especially if you have to wake up early for school or work the next day. Not only is adequate sleep crucial to doing well in school, it is also an important part of your health and development.^{[9]
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National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases
Health information from the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases, a division of the U.S. National Institutes of Health
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- In your teenage years, you need between eight to ten hours of sleep per night. It is also important to go to sleep and wake up at about the same time every day. This will give your body a chance to perform important tasks, such as healing and detoxifying, which usually occurs between 11pm and 3am.
4
Develop a routine of daily physical activity. Staying physically active is important to maintain a healthy weight, flexibility, and reduce stress. You may get plenty of physical activity through PE classes at school or extracurricular activities such as sports or dance. If not, it is important to incorporate about 60 minutes of physical activity into your daily routine. Log your daily physical activity in a notebook or using a smartphone app to help you stay on track.^{[10]
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Trustworthy Source
National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases
Health information from the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases, a division of the U.S. National Institutes of Health
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- Take a walk.
- Go on a bike ride.
- Do chores such as vacuuming or gardening.
- Play frisbee with some friends.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Taking Control of Your Life

1
Set and achieve realistic goals. In order to achieve your goals, you must make sure that they are smart, realistic, and measurable goals. Setting goals for yourself will keep you motivated without the need for an adult to tell you what to do.^{[11]
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Expert Source

Peggy Rios, PhD
Counseling Psychologist (Florida)
Expert Interview. 18 December 2020.} You will build self-esteem and confidence as you achieve your goals.^{[12]
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- Try setting small, achievable goals for yourself to gain confidence and a sense of accomplishment. For example, you might set a goal to finish a paper for your English class. Or, you might set a goal to learn how to play a new song on the piano.
2
Follow through with any commitments. Once you have made a commitment to something or someone, it is important to follow through with that commitment. It is a sign of maturity if you can follow through with that commitment without having to be nagged and reminded by your parents. These commitments could be short term, like babysitting for a neighbor next Saturday, or they could be long term, like being elected class president.^{[13]
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- Maintain a planner or calendar to help keep track of your commitments.
3
Act without being told. Children are often dependent on their parents to tell them what to do. As you grow up and become more mature, you should be able to be more proactive. Doing things like finishing your homework or keeping your room clean without being told is a sign that you are maturing. Adults must proactively do things each day in order to be successful.^{[14]
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Expert Q&A

Question

How can I show my parents that I'm mature?

Peggy Rios, PhD
Counseling Psychologist (Florida)
Dr. Peggy Rios is a Counseling Psychologist based in Florida. With over 24 years of experience, Dr. Rios works with people struggling with psychological symptoms such as anxiety and depression. She specializes in medical psychology, weaving together behavioral health programs informed by empowerment theory and trauma treatment. Dr. Rios uses integrated, evidence-based models to provide support and therapy for people with life-altering medical conditions. She holds an MS and Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from the University of Maryland. Dr. Rios is a licensed psychologist in the state of Florida.

Peggy Rios, PhD

Counseling Psychologist (Florida)

Expert Answer

Demonstrate your progress without being prompted. For example, if you set a goal to do well in a class, show them your test grades and homework whenever you get them back without waiting for them to ask. Proving that you're capable of being independent and sticking with your goals is a big part of showing them you're mature!
Question

How can I be more mature at school?

Katie Styzek
Professional School Counselor
Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9). She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards.

Katie Styzek

Professional School Counselor

Expert Answer

You can be more mature in school by participating and taking on leadership opportunities in your classes and after-school activities.

Warnings

Maturity will not happen overnight. Be patient.

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You might start to feel distance in your relationships with less mature friends.

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