How to Be a Romantic Girl

Co-authored by Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

Last Updated: August 19, 2021 References

Being romantic can foster a deep connection with a partner or crush, but it can feel awkward or unnatural when you’re just starting out. Being romantic starts with being confident in yourself, then showing the other person how they make you feel and how much you care about them. Whether you’re creating that connection physically or emotionally—or both!—being more romantic will help you both feel happier and more fulfilled together.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Having Romantic Conversations

1
Tell the other person how they make you feel. Sometimes the best way to be romantic through words is to tell the other person how you feel about them. What makes you love to be around them? What do they do that you can’t get enough of? Especially in an established relationship, these little reminders can fall by the wayside, so sprinkling a few into conversations can make you both feel a little more loved. ^{[1]
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- Say something genuine, like “Whenever I’m with you, you make me feel like the only girl in the room,” or, “You always go the extra mile to make me feel special. I love that so much.”
2
Talk about things that your partner loves. Showing that you’re interested in the things they love can make them feel special and important, and give you lots of things to talk about. Whether you’re in a relationship or just talking to a crush, talking about their interests is a great way to start a conversation that you know they’ll be invested in.^{[2]
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- If you don’t know much about their interests, do a little research. Pay attention to the things they spend their free time on and see what you can learn about them.
- For example, if they love sports, you could learn about their favorite team and talk about how they’re doing this season. If they like to travel, ask them what places they’d love to visit. If they’re interested in music, listen to their favorite band or genre and talk about it.
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3
Give them compliments to make them feel special and loved. Complimenting someone you have a relationship with or are interested in can really ramp up the romance. Don’t shy away from compliments on their appearance—making them feel attractive is a huge part of creating a romantic vibe—but compliment deeper parts of their personality as well. Show them how much you admire and appreciate them.^{[3]
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- You could compliment their looks by saying something like, “I know it’s cheesy, but when I look at you, you kind of take my breath away,” or, “I just can’t stop looking at you tonight.”
- You could also compliment their personality by saying something like, “I’ve never met someone who makes me laugh like you do,” or “I love the way you’re always helping other people.”
4
Make the other person laugh with teasing and inside jokes. Laughing with another person can help you feel closer to them, solidifying your bond and showing that you both enjoy being around each other. It’s even better when the laughing comes from light teasing or even inside jokes, which both show how well you know each other and how comfortable you are together.^{[4]
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- For example, you could reference inside jokes by saying, “I always think about that time we got lost walking your dog… remember?” or, “This dinner reminds me of our first date… Remember how nervous we were? You could barely even talk!”
Did you know? Studies have shown that the more that couples laugh together, the more romance they feel.^{[5]
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5
Share secrets with each other. When you share something private or even secret, you’re showing a deep level of trust in the other person. That can lead to a deeper romantic connection, creating a special bond between you and showing the other person that you feel connected to them in a unique way.^{[6]
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- You could say something like, “I’ve never told this to anyone else, but…”
- You and your partner could even share secrets back and forth, making a kind of game out of it to take the pressure off. For every secret you tell, they share one too.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Being Physically Romantic and Flirty

1
Wear cute, flattering clothes. Wearing clothes that make you look and feel good will help you feel confident and flirtatious, which is a great way to show your romantic side. You can even take it a step further by paying attention to what kind of clothes your partner or crush likes best on you and wearing them more often.^{[7]
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- If the other person ever compliments something about your look, such as your clothes or hairstyle, try to repeat the style later.
- You could even suggest they go shopping with you to help you pick out clothes they’d like to see you in.
2
Make eye contact with the other person and give them your full attention. Giving someone your undivided attention doesn’t sound like much, but it can actually mean a lot. Put down your phone, turn off the TV, and really listen to what the other person says. Turn your body towards them and make eye contact to show that what they’re saying is important to you.^{[8]
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- Showing them you’re really listening and invested in your time together is a crucial step to creating a deep, romantic connection.
3
Touch your partner casually and often, during day-to-day activities. Showing physical affection in small, gentle ways can remind the other person that you love and appreciate their body. Keep your gestures simple, soft and genuine to let them know that you want to be close to them.^{[9]
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Ways to Show Physical Affection:

Hold hands

Lean on each other on the couch

Play footsie

Touch their arm or back when you walk past each other
4
Dance together to get physically and emotionally closer. Dancing with your partner or the person you’re interested in will make you feel more connected to each other, both physically and emotionally. You don’t have to be at a club, dance hall, or school dance, either—turn on some music when you’re hanging out at home and ask them to dance.^{[10]
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- You could say, “This is such a good song. Come dance with me!”
5
Offer a massage or cuddles. Creating a romantic mood is all about getting closer, and cuddling together or even giving the other person a massage is a great way to relax and show your affection. Put on some music or even turn on a favorite TV show while you curl up together or lay out on the couch, or offer to massage their neck or back while they sit at the table.^{[11]
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- You could say something like, “I know you had a really rough day. Let me give you a massage to help you relax,” or, “Let’s cuddle up and watch the last few episodes tonight. Want me to make popcorn?”
6
Try getting intimate in new ways. If you’re looking to be more romantic in the bedroom, try doing something new together. Ask him about his fantasies and share your own, or try roleplay. Letting your guard down in terms of physical intimacy can bring you to a new level of closeness.^{[12]
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- You don’t have to play out your fantasies, if you’re not comfortable with it. Sometimes just talking about them can help you feel closer, or put you in a more romantic mood.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Doing Romantic Things

1
Leave a sweet, genuine note for your partner. Put a short letter on their computer or backpack just telling him that you care about them, or are looking forward to seeing them later. Leaving something small like this for them to find can really make their day, and show that you’re thinking about them in a sweet, romantic way.^{[13]
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Expert Source

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist
Expert Interview. 11 August 2021.}^{[14]
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- You could write them something longer or keep it short and sweet. Try saying something like, “You looked great today! Can’t wait to see you later,” or “I’ll be thinking about you all day today.”
2
Surprise your partner with a nice dinner, a gift, or a weekend away. Surprises big and small are a great way to show your romantic side to a crush or partner. Give them a small gift, treat them to dinner or dessert, or go bigger with a night or weekend away. Just showing that you put in the time and effort to surprise them is romantic in and of itself, no matter the size of the gift.^{[15]
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Expert Source

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist
Expert Interview. 11 August 2021.}

Romantic Surprises for Your Partner or Crush:

A piece of their favorite candy

A love letter

Dinner at their favorite restaurant

A homemade meal or dessert

A surprise weekend at a hotel or resort
3
Frame a picture of the two of you together. In the digital age, printing and framing a photo of you with your partner shows that that memory means a lot to you—and by extension, that the person means a lot to you, too. It’s something they can put up to remind them of a great time you had together, which keeps you on their mind in a sweet, romantic way.^{[16]
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- You can give the photo as a gift or surprise them with it.
4
Do a new activity together. Sharing new experiences with someone you care about can really bring you closer together and foster a deep, romantic connection. Suggest some things you’d both enjoy and be positive and excited when you try them together. Be open to their suggestions, too!
- You could try an activity together, like snorkeling, painting, or an exercise class, or traveling to a new place together. It could even be as simple as cooking a meal together, or trying a new kind of food. Spontaneity is key!^{[17]
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  Expert Source
  
  Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
  Licensed Relationship Therapist
  Expert Interview. 11 August 2021.}
5
Cook a meal with each other. Making a meal together, whether it’s a big dinner or a casual lunch, is a way for you to work with your partner to create something delicious. The best part? You get to enjoy it together afterwards! Pick out a dish that both of you love and set up a time to whip it up together.^{[18]
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- Be patient with each other and don’t expect it to turn out perfectly. The point is to have fun and enjoy your time together!
- Choose a meal that’s simple but tasty, like spaghetti, baked chicken and veggies, or steak.
6
Have an adventure together. You don’t have to take a long flight or spend a lot of money to have a romantic adventure with your partner! Getting away—even if it’s not that far away—is a great way to get both of you out of your regular routines, creating a perfect atmosphere for romance and a deeper connection. Try something like:^{[19]
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- Going camping or hiking nearby
- Booking a night at a nearby hotel for a “staycation”
- Taking a beach trip and trying a new water sport, like kayaking or paddle-boarding
- Saving up together for a special trip

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you make a guy feel special?

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist
Alysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post.

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

Licensed Relationship Therapist

Expert Answer

Make meaning and validating comments and compliments. For instance, you could say "I like that you take so much pride in taking care of your car" instead of just saying "I like your car."
Question

How do I make him feel like a king?

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist
Alysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post.

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

Licensed Relationship Therapist

Expert Answer

Always be loyal! Let him know that he's the only person in your life and that you're committed to the relationship.
Question

How do you win a man's heart?

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist
Alysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post.

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

Licensed Relationship Therapist

Expert Answer

Be sensitive. Allow him to have insecurities and vulnerabilities, and don't expect him to be "masculine" all the time.