How to Caress Your Boyfriend

Last Updated: October 28, 2022 References

Caressing your boyfriend with gentle, loving touches is a sweet way to let him know you appreciate him. Even though showing your boyfriend how you feel about him involves much more than physical touches, this is a great way to start. Caressing him can also be done when you're showing your appreciation in other ways, like when you're talking or doing an activity together. However and whenever you decide to caress him, just make sure it's out of love and you're sure to be doing it right!

Part 1

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Caressing Your Boyfriend

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Wait for a sweet moment. If you have treated your boyfriend well and cared for him well, you have set yourself up well. Your boyfriend will appreciate your special touch even more when he knows that your emotions and heart are in it too. Find a special moment to caress your boyfriend, whether that's when you two are in an intimate moment, when he's saddened or upset by something, or in public when you can show others how much he means to you.
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Learn how your boyfriend reacts to touch. Some guys are very physical and enjoy physical touch, while others may show their love for someone in a different way.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} While dating your special guy, learn how he reacts to certain things and when he seems to want to be touched the most. Some guys appreciate a hug, caress, or massage in moments of high stress, while others want to escape to their thoughts.^{[2]
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- If you try to caress your boyfriend during a time when things don't seem perfectly okay, and he reacts negatively, try not to take it personally. Unless he always acts this way around you, he may just need his space or time to think and doesn't receive touch well during these times.
- If your boyfriend never seems to like being caressed, or reacts rudely or harshly when you try to touch him, it may be a good time to talk to him about how you feel. You don't want to be dating someone who doesn't appreciate it when you touch him.
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Offer to give him a massage. If your guy has had a long week and looks like he needs to rest, or you just want an excuse to touch him, ask your boyfriend if you can give him a massage. He will likely say yes and it's your opportunity to help him relax; it can create intimacy between the two of you as well. For a really good massage, use coconut oil or other scented lotions to soothe his muscles.^{[3]
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- Ask him where he is experiencing the most tension and what feels the best. Your boyfriend will likely love a massage that caters to the areas in his body that need the most attention. After you have loosened him up a bit he may be more intimate with you, or willing to give you a massage.
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Brush the hair out of his face. If you are looking to caress your boyfriend in hopes that it will lead to something more, find an excuse to touch his face. Brush the hair out of his face, touch his cheek, or gently hold his face in your hands for a few seconds. Your boyfriend will likely make eye contact with you and it may lead into something more, like a kiss.
- Some of the best times to do a caress like this is when it is unexpected. Catch him off guard so that his attention is immediately drawn back to you.
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Touch his shoulder or grab his hand. This is often the most gentle and sweetest way to caress your boyfriend, because it is such a light touch that shows him you are thinking about him. When you are in public or with friends, reach over and grab his hand, squeeze it, and let it go. Or, reach up and gently touch his shoulder or rub his back, letting him know you are thinking about him.^{[4]
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- Moments where your boyfriend seems upset, sad, or has experienced some sort of loss can be the sweetest times to caress him in this way. It gives him the space he may need to mourn or grieve, but lets him know that you are there for him and care for him.^{[5]
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Embrace him. Show your man you care for him and/or love him by giving him a tender, long hug. Most guys enjoy the feeling of being up close to their significant other, and a hug can be a deep display of affection. Hug your boyfriend from behind and wrap your arms around his waist, or embrace him from the front and hold him tight. Sometimes a hug is all you need to make your day better, so why not make his better by greeting him with a full-body embrace. ^{[6]
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Be careful touching your boyfriend when he's angry. You may be tempted to caress your boyfriend during times of high stress or when you are in an argument, because you feel like it could soften the mood. However, when people are angry, many times their personal bubble expands, and they don't want to be touched or caressed. Watch for signs from your boyfriend to know if it is a good time to reach out and touch him. ^{[7]
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- If your boyfriend is acting like he wants space, or seems distant or aloof because he is angry or irritated with you, you might avoid caressing him. In those moments he may need a little bit of time to cool off and think through things. Reaching out and touching him could set him off even more or make him feel he needs an even greater distance.
- If the two of you are at the end of a fight, and you aren't sure if it is a good time to touch your boyfriend, you can try asking him. Simply ask "Is it okay if I hug you or hold you now?" That way, you know if he's in a place where he wants to be near you.

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Showing Your Boyfriend You Care

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Appreciate him.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} The greatest way to show your boyfriend you care about him is to reveal to him how much you appreciate him. Guys often want to feel needed and want to know that you appreciate them. Don't forget to remind him every now and then how much you do care for him and how thankful you are to have him around. ^{[9]
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- When you compliment your boyfriend and make him feel like the things he does for you aren't in vain, it can create positive effects in your life as well. If he feels like his significant other appreciates him and notices him, he may be more likely to do things for you, because he knows that you won't just ignore him or critique him.
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Compliment him.^{[10]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} Compliments don't just affect women. Men like and enjoy compliments as well, so compliment him every now and then to boost his confidence and to show him you find him attractive in appearance and personality. Compliment his looks, but also compliment his actions. Let him know when he does something well or when you are proud of him. ^{[11]
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- In moments when your boyfriend is experiencing difficulty or has recently failed at something, take time to encourage him and remind him of his strengths and what he is good at. Uplifting your boyfriend in times when he is feeling insecure is one of the best ways to compliment him.
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Help him when you can. Even in those moments when your boyfriend irritates you and the last thing you want to do is help him, sacrifice your pride and help him out. Taking time and energy to work alongside your boyfriend or to help ease his load is a great way to show your boyfriend you care for him and love him. A healthy relationship isn't based on what you can gain from someone, it's based on mutual support and affection. ^{[12]
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- Helping your boyfriend may look like different things. It may be running errands for him when his life gets crazy. It may be helping him with school work or his workload. It may be giving him space to sort things out. The best way to help you boyfriend is to do things without him having to ask first. This will show him that you aren't helping him out of obligation or helping him just because he asked -- you are doing it because you care about him enough to help him out.
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Talk sweetly to him and give him grace. Along with complimenting your boyfriend, you can talk tenderly and sweetly to him to express your feelings and care for him. Tell him how you feel about him, try to avoid jumping to conclusions, and give your boyfriend grace when he needs it. Know that no one can be perfect, so even when your boyfriend makes a mistake or hurts your feelings, be willing to forgive him and give him grace. ^{[13]
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- Giving your boyfriend grace means not holding grudges against him, forgiving him, and showing him love, even when it is difficult. Showing someone grace can often be humbling, but it helps him see that you are understanding and know that you aren't perfect either.
- This doesn't mean that you can let your boyfriend walk all over you, or continually mess up with no regard to your feelings. If your boyfriend continually hurts your or is constantly making mistakes, you should talk to him. Communication is key to a healthy relationship, so if you have given your boyfriend grace countless times and continue to forgive him, but his behavior still throws you off, it's time you have a conversation with him.
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Maintain a healthy relationship. The key to caring for your boyfriend is making it a priority to keep the relationship healthy. You may pretend like everything is okay by engaging in physical touch, but at the end of the day physical touch won't be enough. Communicate regularly with your boyfriend and make sure you two have created a safe place to share how you are feeling in the relationship.^{[14]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.}
- For a healthy relationship you should avoid dating someone who doesn't seem that into you, or is only keeping you around until something "better" comes along. Dating someone who shares the same values as you do and is committed to you will result in the best relationship and the least amount of heartbreak.^{[15]
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Expert Q&A
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Question

How do I know if my boyfriend wants me to caress him?

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach."

Connell Barrett

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

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Pay attention to his body language to see if he's trying to signal you. Try lightly touching his arm after saying something to see how he responds.
Question

Is it right if my boyfriend keeps telling me how much other girls admire him?

Community Answer

He's just telling you that so you'll get jealous and so that you'll believe that he's a "catch" and want to stay with him. If this bothers you, tell him that. Say something like, "I don't like it when you're always talking about how other girls like you. It makes me uncomfortable." Hopefully he'll stop. If he doesn't, he's not a very good boyfriend, and he's not taking your feelings into consideration.
Question

What should I my boyfriend and I do when we're alone having quiet time?

Community Answer

Put on a film, read a book, tell stupid jokes that are so terrible they’re funny. It's always fun to cook or bake something with your partner as well.