How to Compliment Your Girlfriend

Give the compliment. Compliment your girlfriend on her personality, something admirable she said or did, or how she looks (like her attributes or outfit). Say something like, “You’re very trustworthy. I admire that,” "You look great in that outfit. Is it new?" or "It was really nice of you to help Carrie with her homework."

• You can give a compliment in person, but you can also give it via phone or text message. You do not have to save the compliments up for when you see her. By calling or texting to compliment her, you will let her know that you're thinking about her even when she's not with you.

Tell her why. Then, tell her why she deserved the compliment. For example, if you compliment her on her trustworthiness, say, “I see that your friends and family confide in you a lot. That tells me that you know how to keep people’s personal matters private, and that you respect their privacy.”^[5] You will seem more sincere if you can qualify the compliment.

Ask a question. To complete the compliment, you can ask a question, like “What made you such an honest person?” Or, you can challenge her by telling her something cute like, “Can you keep my secret? I really like you.”^[6]

• You can also share something about yourself, like, “Growing up, my friends weren’t very trustworthy. It’s refreshing to have someone that you can trust.” You will seem very sincere while making your girlfriend feel great.

Compliment her appearance. Complimenting your girlfriend’s appearance once in a while is a great way to make her feel good about herself. But, remember to be sincere. For example, don’t say you like her new haircut, if you actually don’t like it.

• Tell your girlfriend that you think she is beautiful. Be specific when you tell your girlfriend that she is beautiful. For example, "I love your dark brown eyes" or "Every time I see you smile, it brightens my day."

Admire emotional bravery. You can compliment your girlfriend by admiring her emotional bravery. For example, “I know last week was a really rough week for you. But you were able to focus and put all the negativity aside, and put together a great presentation. Everyone loved it.”^[7]

Tell her she did a good job. You can compliment your girlfriend by congratulating her on a job well done. These type of compliments will build her self-confidence. For example, “Good job on winning the talent show. I know the competition was fierce!” Or, "I knew you were going to ace your test. I know you studied really hard for it. You deserve that A."^[8]

Ask her how she did something. You can compliment your girlfriend indirectly by asking her how she did something. This way, you can admire her skills and expertise. You can say, for example, “Can you tell me how you studied for the midterm?” Or, “How did you create your own blog?”^[9]

• If your girlfriend is creative, admire her creativity. You can praise her creative touches by saying, “You did a great job on that poster board for the presentation,” or “The painting you gave Emily for her birthday was stunning.”^[10]

Tell her she’s smart. Compliment your girlfriend on her intelligence, but don’t just say, “You’re smart.” This seems generic. Remember to be more specific when you compliment her. For example, “You really deserved that reward for your paper. It was a thought-provoking and insightful paper.”

Know what not to say. It’s helpful to know which compliments can be misinterpreted or taken the wrong way. Try to stay clear of these comments. The last thing you want is miscommunication between you and your girlfriend, when all you wanted to do was to make her feel good. For example, if your girlfriend struggles with her body image, then you might think that you're helping by frequently complimenting her appearance. However, this may lead to her fixating on it. Some other examples of bad compliments are:

• “You clean up nicely.” She can misinterpret this as, “You don’t usually look good.”
• “You’d be prettier if you smiled more.” This can be misinterpreted as, “You are not pretty.”
• Any compliment that ends with, “for a girl.” For example, “You’re smart for a girl,” or “You’re funny for a girl.” These types of compliments are very demeaning to all women and girls.