How to Date a Musician (for Girls)

Think about why you want to date a musician. Is it for the glamor? The cool factor? The connection to genius (or at least musical competence)? The thought that you might get songs or music written about you or inspired by you? These aren't the best reasons for dating anyone, and it'd probably be best to be glamorous, cool, or creative yourself.

Think about the sort of musician you want to date, and what instrument you'd prefer they play. Do you want a hip indie rocker in tight pants? A macho metal guy? A dramatic goth girl? A political punk? A down to earth folk person? An unfathomable avant-garde musician? Do you want a sweet lead guitarist? A cool bass player? A nice drummer? A keyboard player? A sousaphone player? (Note: the authors have no idea where to find a sousaphone player, let alone how to date one, best of luck. Sub-note: you can find a sousaphone player in your high school or college marching band. A sousaphone is essentially a tuba made for marching.)

Develop a working knowledge of the history of pop, classic, rock, or soul music, especially that surrounding your chosen musician's genre.^[1] Also develop a working knowledge of cultural phenomenon surrounding that movement (key books, movies, etc.) so that when speaking with the likely very focused musician you display an awareness of music beyond the usual groupie squealing.

Dress for success. Develop a style that both fits in with, and stands out from other people in your desired scene. Do not dress in an overtly sexual manner, this will only get you one night stands, usually with the least attractive guy in the band, quartet, orchestra or whatever. This does not mean dress like a nun, it means dressing like you would on a date. Think classy (or well, intellectual, or generally not "have me now wear" depending on the genre, punks are rarely "classy") Basically, you don't want to look like a groupie, you want to look like a potential girlfriend.

Develop a creative interest if you don't already have one and cultivate it. It's usually best if this interest isn't music unless you're already talented in that area, badly done music is a turn off for most musicians. Musicians are creative types so they usually date girls of similar temperament.

Learn about your local underground or otherwise music scene and start going to shows.^[2] Pick some potential targets, and find out who has a girlfriend. Remember, girls who hit on guys with partners often get very bad reputations in the music scene. Strike up a conversation with one of the guys you're interested in. Mention you like the band (but don't rhapsodize about how they're the best thing ever) talk about music for a bit (tell him how they remind you of one of the bands you learned about in your studies that sound like they influenced the band, and then go off on general bands you like), and ask questions about the musician (not about the band). Ask them where they grew up, where they got that shirt, that sort of thing. Remember, they're probably sick of talking about the band.

Know that a good relationship is often based on common interests. If you find you don't have much in common, you may need to move on.^[3]