How to Date a Twin

Last Updated: June 15, 2022

Dating an identical twin can add a little more complication to an otherwise ordinary relationship, depending on the closeness of the twins and their willingness to play a few pranks on you to make it difficult to tell them apart. And while some parents of twins can barely tell them apart, how will you manage? Or will you become attracted to both twins? Dating a twin can lead to some very awkward moments, to say the least, so here are some handy steps to help your dating experience with a twin run smoothly.

1

Mark your territory.

Ask your twin date to stand out if you have trouble telling the two apart. Ask him or her to wear a specific necklace or hat, or something else that makes tasty humor. If that doesn't work or if he or she won't cooperate, distinguish and focus on a unique feature. Birthmarks, scars, and other features such as a laugh or twitch make each person different from another, including their twin.
- Note that it won't take you very long when being around both twins to know who is who and to be able to tell them apart easily.

2

Avoid making the other twin feel like a third wheel.

Twins usually have a better special bond than regular siblings.^{[1]
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Research source} So when you come into the picture, the twin may feel guilty by leaving the other one behind or alone.
- Instead of feeling like you need to be around the second twin all of the time, organize specific events to go on a double date, or create group get-togethers.
- You might like to ask one of your friends to spend time with the other twin. He or she might even start dating one of them!
- And when you're alone with the two of them, interrupt their physical closeness by putting yourself in between them.

3

Focus on the "main" subject.

It's not wrong of you to be physically drawn to both of them. But your guy or girl probably doesn't appreciate you dabbling with and eyeing his or her double.
- Remember to treat your twin date the same as a single birth person. What would be challenging, hurtful, or inappropriate in that situation remains the same for dating a twin.

4

Put your foot down on any tricks.

Some twins may think it's funny to play tricks on their significant other. Never stand for any of this.
- One response to trickery might be: Secretly brand your beau with a mark without him or her knowing. Kiss his or her cheek while wearing that red lipstick, for example, put a small sticky dot on her top, or even give him/her a hickey. Then if he or she comes back without the mark, you'll know he's Tweedle-dum not Tweedle-dee and you can call an end to the pranking.
- Or simply voice your dislike of any such pranking.

5

Know your own boundaries.

Consider whether or not extreme closeness between twins is a problem for you or is something that you can live with. Your presence won't break that bond, so learning to deal with it is your best strategy. If it doesn't work for you, that's a sign to draw the dating to an end.
- As with any dating, check your own emotions and feelings about being with your twin date as a person in his or her own right.
- Consider how many people of single birth have a problem with clearly defining who they are in life. If you wouldn't normally date a person who has issues with self boundaries, then your twin date's closeness with his or her twin will probably become a cause of concern for you.
- If you find one twin is very protective of the other twin, even when you are around, and tells you to "take care of my baby sister well, or else", or "treat my brother properly", this could be a warning signal that the protectiveness will spoil your relationship. Talk to your twin date about it and decide how you feel after hearing the answers.
- Constantly fighting over the presence of a twin in your dating life is a warning sign. If your twin tells you that their twin will always come first in their life, this signals that the twin hasn't managed to separate his or her needs and future journey from his or her twin. It might require more time, or you might consider moving on.

6

Avoid making assumptions about twins.

Identical twins are still unique individuals and their interests, tastes, and hobbies may be very different from one another. As well, not all twins get along, or have an intense level of closeness, in just the same way that some single birth siblings don't get along well. The best thing to do when dating a twin is to put the assumptions aside and look to your own feelings about the twin you are dating.

Warnings

Mutual dislike between you and twin date's twin can make things very uncomfortable for your date. Try to sort it out.

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If you can't recognize your date, he/she can get really hurt. Would you like if your girl/boyfriend didn't care if she was dating you or your best friend?

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