How to Cope with Loneliness & Feel Better

Medically verified strategies to manage, understand, and overcome loneliness

In a world so big, it can be easy to feel alone. Loneliness can happen to anyone at any time, but even so, blue feelings are never fun. Thankfully, there are ways to cope and deal with loneliness, and they’re probably simpler than you may think. We’ve rounded up the best ways to help you start feeling like yourself again (plus explanations for why you may be lonely). Now, everyone is different, so all of these tricks may not work for you, but it doesn’t hurt to give them a try to see what does!

Things You Should Know

  • Joining clubs, volunteering, and chatting with people online helps you put yourself out there and make friends—helping you say “bye-bye” to loneliness.
  • Keep yourself busy with things you love and practice self-care to learn to love solitude.
  • Check in with a therapist if you’re feeling hopeless, unmotivated, and lonely, as these could be signs of depression.
Section 1 of 3:

Coping with Loneliness

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    Get involved in school or community activities to meet new people. One of the best things you can do for yourself when you feel lonely is to put yourself out there. Join a sports league, take a cooking or exercise class, or volunteer at the local food bank. You’ll be socializing and having fun—it’s the best of both worlds![1]
    • Sign up for activities that interest you to find people with similar passions or hobbies.
    • Show an interest in what you’re doing and the people around you—don’t be afraid to approach someone first![2]
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    Reach out to family and friends to talk it out. Sometimes, all you need is a comforting shoulder to lean on. Talk to a trusted loved one about how you’ve been feeling, or send them a simple “Hey” to get a conversation started.[3]
    • Talking about your feelings may seem daunting, but it can help you realize that you’re not alone.
    • Try saying something like, “Lately, I’ve been feeling lonely. Have you ever felt this way?” or, “Hey! Want to grab some ice cream? It sure would cheer me up.”
    • If you don’t have someone to talk to, try Contact a Samaritan’s services for anonymous support.[4]
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    Join an online community to find like-minded people. Sometimes, connecting with people online can be easier than making friends IRL.[5] If you’re a little shy or don’t live in a bustling community, try reaching out to people on social media. There are tons of forums and chat rooms out there to choose from! Follow your interests, and you may make some lasting connections.[6]
    • Try joining Facebook groups about your favorite TV show, craft, or books.
    • Scroll through hashtags of your interests on Instagram and Twitter to join conversations.
    • Play a multiplayer game that lets you chat with others, like Minecraft or Fortnite.
    • Avoid spending too much time on social media, as online communities can quickly turn toxic if they’re all you absorb.
    • Always be cautious when talking to strangers online. If something doesn’t feel right about their profile, try chatting with someone else.
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    Take care of yourself to build confidence. Practicing self-care is especially important when you’re feeling blue.[7] Help yourself feel better and deal with loneliness by eating nutritious foods, exercising, and getting enough sleep.
    • Eat foods that satisfy you emotionally and physically.
    • Aim to move your body for at least 30 minutes a day. Do something you enjoy, like walking, hiking, swimming, or dancing.[8]
    • Try to get at least 7 hours of sleep and follow a regular sleep schedule.[9]
    • Consider adding meditation to your routine to help clear your mind.[10]
    • Taking care of your mind and body doesn’t have to be tedious, so treat yourself every once in a while! Get a massage or buy that cupcake.
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    Schedule fun activities into your day to stay busy. Combat those blue and lonely feelings with new and exciting things.[11] Do activities you love or start up a new hobby to have something to look forward to each day, such as:
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    Start a journal to track your thoughts and feelings. Writing is a great way to let out your emotions and understand why you’re lonely.[12] Try devoting at least 20 minutes a day to writing in your journal. Your entries don’t have to be long or about anything in particular—just jot down whatever comes to mind! Here are some prompts to get you started:
    • “I feel lonely when….”
    • “I feel lonely because….”
    • “Today, I….”
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    Adopt a pet to comfort you at home. Pets are amazing companions, help you stick to a daily routine, and ease symptoms of depression, anxiety, and loneliness. If you’re feeling down after moving or losing a loved one, consider getting a dog, cat, hamster, or goldfish to help the loneliness fade away.[13]
    • Becoming a pet owner is a big responsibility, and it may not be the best fit for everyone, and that’s okay.
    • If you’re feeling lonely because you’ve lost a pet, don’t feel like you have to get another pet right away. Move on and grieve at your own pace.
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Section 2 of 3:

Why do you feel lonely?

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    You’re depressed. Feeling lonely often comes from low moods and overall sadness or nerves. When you’re down, it can be easy to feel like you’re alone. Unfortunately, loneliness and depression go hand-in-hand, but this also means you’re not the only one feeling this way.[14] Ask yourself these questions. If you answer “yes” to more than one, you may be struggling with depression:[15]
    • Do you have little interest in doing things?
    • Have you felt hopeless over the last 2 weeks?
    • Do you have trouble staying asleep or sleeping too much?
    • Are you often tired or have no energy?
    • Do you have a poor appetite or overeat?
    • Have you recently thought of yourself as a failure?
    • Do you have trouble concentrating?
    • Do you have thoughts that you’d be better off dead?
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    Your life’s changed. More often than not, we feel lonely because we’re experiencing something new or different. Maybe you’ve moved to a new place, retired, graduated, lost a loved one, or been diagnosed with an illness or disability. All of these things can change life as you know it, which can be scary.[16]
    • To deal with your loneliness, you must first cope with change.
    • Know that you’re not alone in this. Life is full of changes, but the beautiful thing is we, as humans, adapt and grow, and you can become stronger because of it.
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    You’ve gone through a breakup or are unhappy in your relationship. Sometimes the most emotional experiences can leave us feeling lost or isolated. Loneliness is, unfortunately, a normal part of a breakup, especially if you’d been with someone for a long time. If you’re feeling lonely while in a relationship, it may be because the emotional or romantic connection has changed.[17]
    • Use the time alone after a breakup to [on yourself] and refill your cup.
    • Have an open conversation with your partner about being lonely, so you can work together to strengthen your relationship.
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Section 3 of 3:

Asking for Help

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    Talk to a therapist if you start feeling depressed or anxious. More often than not, the best thing you can do for yourself is ask for help. If you’ve felt exceptionally lonely for a while or lost motivation to do things you love, reach out to a therapist or licensed counselor. They’ll be able to help you work through and understand your emotions while providing personalized treatments or techniques you can try.[18]
    • If you can’t find a therapist in your area, try an online therapy platform like Talkspace or BetterHelp.

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References

  1. ↑ Chloe Carmichael, PhD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 29 May 2019.
  2. ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/how-to-make-friends.htm
  3. ↑ Chloe Carmichael, PhD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 29 May 2019.
  4. ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/feelings-and-symptoms/feeling-lonely/
  5. ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/how-to-make-friends.htm
  6. ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/howrightnow/resources/coping-with-loneliness/index.html
  7. ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/howrightnow/resources/coping-with-loneliness/index.html
  8. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/in-depth/depression-and-exercise/art-20046495
  9. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/expert-answers/how-many-hours-of-sleep-are-enough/faq-20057898
  1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pura-vida/201401/meditation-medicine-loneliness
  2. ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/coronavirus/coping-with-loneliness-during-coronavirus/
  3. ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/coronavirus/coping-with-loneliness-during-coronavirus/
  4. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/mood-boosting-power-of-dogs.htm
  5. ↑ https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12888-020-02818-3
  6. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/depression-symptoms-and-warning-signs.htm
  7. ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/feelings-and-symptoms/feeling-lonely/
  8. ↑ https://time.com/5548386/feeling-lonely-in-relationship/
  9. ↑ Chloe Carmichael, PhD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 29 May 2019.

About This Article

Chloe Carmichael, PhD
Co-authored by:
Chloe Carmichael, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Author of Nervous Energy
This article was co-authored by Chloe Carmichael, PhD. Chloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over a decade of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.” This article has been viewed 3,297,712 times.
8 votes - 73%
Co-authors: 167
Updated: October 25, 2022
Views: 3,297,712
Categories: Featured Articles | Loneliness
Article SummaryX

To deal with loneliness, try exploring new hobbies and activities, such as taking a class or volunteering within your community. If you're anxious around other people, try doing things by yourself, like going out to dinner or seeing a movie. Alternatively, join an online community to share your thoughts and ask questions to those who are also dealing with loneliness. You can also deepen your relationships with people who are already in your life, like your family and close friends. To learn how to identify the reasons for your loneliness, keep reading!

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