How Do You Stop Feeling Jealous? 11 Tips and Strategies to Distract Yourself

Co-authored by Chloe Carmichael, PhD

Last Updated: July 27, 2021 References

If you struggle with jealousy, you’re not alone. It’s not at all uncommon and a perfectly normal emotion to experience. The key is to not let it overwhelm or affect you. The good news is it is totally possible to distract yourself from your jealousy so you don’t have to worry about it. To help you do it, we’ve put together a list of tips and strategies you can use to keep those negative emotions from getting the better of you.

1

Take a moment to breathe.

Recognize that your jealous thoughts aren’t the same as reality. As soon as you start feeling jealous, take a few slow, deep breaths. It’ll help calm your mind so you can think more clearly. Focus on the fact that just because you feel jealous or you’re thinking jealous thoughts, it doesn’t mean it’s real. Recognize that thinking and reality are entirely different and it may help you ignore or manage your jealous feelings.^{[1]
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- For example, if you find yourself thinking that your partner is cheating on you or that your friend is more successful than you, take a few deep breaths and realize that it may not be true at all.
- Practice breathing exercises to work on getting better at using controlled breathing techniques to calm your mind.

2

Use thought-stopping techniques.

Catch yourself as soon as you start feeling jealous. One of the best ways to avoid letting jealousy rule your life is to stop it dead in its tracks. Pay attention to when you find yourself starting to feel jealous. As soon as you notice it, say, “Stop” out loud. It can help prevent your negative emotions from taking over your life.^{[2]
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- For instance, when you start having jealous thoughts, try saying, “Stop, Sarah” (insert your own name) and it can help you regain control.
- The more you let your mind run, the more jealous you can get and the more difficult it can be to regain control.

3

Watch your favorite show.

Distract yourself and take a mental break for a bit. When you start having those jealous feelings creep up on you, pop on a show or movie that you love. Take some time to relax while you watch it and you may not even remember being jealous when it’s over.^{[3]
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- For instance, if you love rewatching a show like The Office, Parks and Rec, or Stargate, put on a few episodes and it may make you feel better.
- You may not even need to watch much. If you start feeling better after 15 minutes or so, that’s great!

4

Meditate.

Settle your mind and focus your attention somewhere else. Meditation involves being mindful of how you’re thinking and how you’re feeling. It can be an excellent tool to combat negative emotions such as jealousy. Check out a guided meditation app or video, or work with a trainer to learn how to do it on your own. It could make a huge difference.^{[4]
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- Meditation doesn’t have to take too long, either. You can try short, 10-15 minute sessions to calm your mind.
- Look for meditation apps in your phone’s app store or look online for videos and classes you can try.
- If you’re religious, prayer can work in similar ways to meditation and may help you deal with your jealous feelings.^{[5]
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5

Exercise.

Go for a run or hit the gym to sweat it out. Get physical to help get rid of that negative energy. Go out for a nice long run (or walk), try doing some jumping jacks, hit the gym, or take a group fitness class. You’ll be distracted while you exercise and it can release endorphins that may make you feel better as well.^{[6]
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- Healthy exercise can calm you down enough to give you perspective and better manage your jealous feelings.
- If you’re new to exercise, start small. Go for an easy jog or lift weights with an experienced partner or trainer so you don’t injure yourself.

6

Do something fun.

Pick up a hobby, try something new, or hang out with friends. Enjoy yourself! Do that hobby that you love and that makes you happy, or try getting into something new that you’ve always wanted to do. You could also call up some of your friends and get together. Grab a bite to eat, get a drink, or just hang out. Do something that makes you feel good to take your mind off of those jealous feelings.^{[7]
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- For instance, if you love playing video games, building model airplanes, drawing, sewing, or any other kind of hobby, do it! It’ll make you feel better and can keep your mind distracted.
- If you’ve always wanted to try something like yoga, painting, or knitting, why not give it a shot? You can take a class or look for online courses or videos you can use to try it out.

7

Take a nap.

Rest and give yourself a short break from everything. Negative emotions like jealousy can be exhausting! Don’t wear yourself out or run yourself down. If you need a complete break, put your phone on silent, lie down somewhere comfy like your bed or sofa, and conk out for 15-30 minutes (or more if you need it). You’ll wake up feeling refreshed and better able to manage your jealous feelings.^{[8]
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- Plus, you won’t be jealous while you’re sleeping!
- If you’re really tired, it can be more difficult to manage your emotions. It could be that all you need is some rest to deal with your jealousy.

8

Put your feelings into words.

Say them out loud or write them down to release your jealousy. Don’t keep your jealous thoughts locked in your head! If it helps, try saying them out loud to release them and hear how they sound. You may find that they seem silly or unreasonable. You can also write out your feelings in a notebook or journal, which may help you better manage them. Letting it all out on the page could be a healthy distraction while you work through your emotions.^{[9]
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- You could also type them out on your computer or in the notes app on your phone or tablet.

9

Focus on your strengths.

Remind yourself about things that you’re good at. Jealousy can sometimes make you feel inadequate or like you aren’t good enough. It’s not true. You have a ton of great qualities, talents, and strengths. Whenever you find yourself feeling jealous, think about some of those positive qualities that you possess. It may help distract you away from those jealous thoughts and make you feel better about yourself.^{[10]
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- For instance, if you’re worried and jealous about your partner potentially leaving you, think about some of the great times you’ve shared, how much you love them, and some of the great things they’ve done for you.
- If you’re jealous about someone’s success or about something they received, think about your own hard work and the gifts you’ve been fortunate enough to get. You’ve had great things happen in your life. Use them to fight off those jealous thoughts.

10

Concentrate on your work.

Redirect your energy into something productive. Throw yourself into that project or assignment that you have to get done. You’ll feel good about getting something accomplished and you’ll be too busy to be jealous. Plus, the distraction could give you the time and space you need to better manage your jealous feelings.^{[11]
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- For instance, if you have a report to file at work or you have a homework project coming up at school, why not get a head start and tackle it now? You’ll be on top of your work and it won’t allow your jealous emotions to get the best of you.
- That isn’t to say you should bury your jealous feelings and ignore them, but a healthy distraction like work can help give you some perspective.

11

Praise someone when they do something positive.

Be more kind and rewarding to others. If you’re jealous of a specific person, try replacing your negative thoughts and feelings with happy ones. Think about something positive that they’ve done or something about them that makes you feel good. Then, tell them about it. You’ll feel better and it’ll make them feel really good—it’s a win-win!^{[12]
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- For example, if you start getting jealous about someone in your partner’s life, try replacing those thoughts with something nice you and your partner recently did, such as a fun date you went on, a silly joke you shared, or a tasty meal you ate together.
- If a friend just got a raise and you’re feeling a little jealous about it, think about how hard they work and how much they really deserve it.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I overcome jealousy in my relationship?

Chloe Carmichael, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Chloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over a decade of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.”

Chloe Carmichael, PhD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

If your relationship struggles with jealousy issues, a relationship counselor or therapist may be able to help you and your partner work through them.