Does Sex Strengthen a Relationship? The Benefits of a Healthy Sex Life

Co-authored by Jacqueline Hellyer and Jessica Gibson

Last Updated: October 25, 2022 References

Let's talk about sex! Can it really strengthen your relationship? We've reached out to relationship experts to get the low-down on sex and intimacy. Read on—in this article, we'll explain how sex can strengthen your relationship and answer other common questions about frequency, health benefits, and more.

Things You Should Know

Sex can strengthen a relationship, but it isn't a necessary component to a strong relationship.
Its benefits include injecting a sense of spark into a dull relationship, as well as increasing relaxation and decreasing stress in the couple.
To maximize the benefits of sex in your relationship, focus on quality over quantity.

Section 1 of 5:

Does sex make a relationship stronger?

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It can, but it totally depends on the relationship. There's no one-size-fits-all when it comes to sex! The impact that sex has on your personal relationship depends on who you two are as people, your compatibility, what stage you're at in your relationship, and how much value you put on having sex for instance.
- People also define sex differently—sex in a relationship isn't just penetrative sex.
2
Sex alone can't strengthen a relationship that's not thriving. If there are major relationship issues that you need to work through, focus on those. Think of it this way—a healthy sex life comes from having a healthy emotional life. For instance, if you or your partner have problems with body image, sex might not be as great as it could be once you feel good about your body.
- Passionate sex is possible if you have positive feelings towards each other, so work together to deal with resentment or frustration in your relationship.

Section 2 of 5:

Ways Sex Can Improve a Relationship

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Sex can make you both feel sexier and more relaxed. When you have sex or orgasm, your body releases oxytocin, popularly known as the love hormone. It can make you feel less stressed, and studies have even found that it increases feelings of bonding and trust.^{[1]
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- Amazingly, the great feelings or afterglow of sex can last up to 2 days!
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It nurtures a deep bond between people who care about each other. Sex is about connection, pleasure, intimacy, and feeling good about one another. It's no surprise that these fantastic feelings keep your relationship strong. Sex helps you feel loved.
- A recent study found a connection between sex and well-being. The idea is that sex makes you more affectionate toward each other outside of the bedroom, which leads to more sex—it's like an intimacy feedback loop!^{[2]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  PubMed Central
  Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
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Sex can put the spark back into a ho-hum relationship. If you've been with your partner for a while, it's completely natural that you're not having sex as often as when you first got together. Maintenance sex—when you're not really excited about doing it, but you have sex anyway—can actually make you feel closer to your partner, which can help boost your sex drive.^{[3]
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- If you're busy with life or work, it's easy to put off having sex. However, taking the time to emotionally and physically connect with your partner can bring intimacy back into your relationship.

Section 3 of 5:

Other Benefits of Regular Sex

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You feel more confident and happy after sex. Sex is a great mood booster and it also improves your self-esteem. You might notice that you enjoy an emotional high for hours or even days after sex—you stop feeling bothered or annoyed by your partner's quirks or little flaws.^{[4]
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Trustworthy Source
Greater Good Magazine
Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living
Go to source}
- A great roll in the hay is satisfying, but it can have you desiring your partner even more. This is great for strengthening the bond you have with your partner.
2
Having sex can relieve stress, so it's easier for you to rest. Do you feel like it's a lot easier to sleep after sex? You're not alone—sex can help you drift off to sleep easier because your body releases the hormone prolactin during orgasm. Prolactin is the hormone that promotes deep sleep.^{[5]
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- Better sleep might not seem like a big deal, but it brings a lot of benefits to your relationship. You can think more clearly and deal with relationship challenges more maturely.^{[6]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  Greater Good Magazine
  Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living
  Go to source}
3
You're motivated to be healthier. Sex is a workout! Fortunately, it's great for your muscle tone and it can even reduce your risk for heart disease.^{[7]
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Research source} If you're having regular sex, you might feel inspired to become more physically active in other areas of your life, so the health benefits just keep coming.
- Sex is considered to be a moderate physical activity—similar to brisk walking or climbing 2 flights of stairs.^{[8]
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  Trustworthy Source
  Journals of the American Heart Association
  Open Access, peer-reviewed journals focusing on cardiovascular and cerebrovascular diseases, as well as related scientific research.
  Go to source}

Section 4 of 5:

How much sex should a couple have?

It can although you should prioritize quality sex over quantity. Everyone wonders if they're having sex often enough! The good news is that if you and your partner have a strong connection and sex feels fulfilling and empowering—even if you don't do it that often, you're in good shape.^{[9]
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- If you're feeling stuck in a rut and you worry that all you're getting is maintenance sex, spice things up! Work on setting a romantic mood, spending more time on foreplay, or introducing toys for instance.

Section 5 of 5:

Can a relationship last without sex?

Yes—sex isn't everything! While sex has great relationship benefits, other acts of intimacy are important, too. Strong couples show affection toward each other in a variety of ways—being cuddly, sharing kind words, and recognizing each other's achievements for instance.^{[10]
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- It's easy to place too much importance on sex; think of it as one aspect of your relationship—it shouldn't become the primary focus.
- Couples who are asexual or who are not interested in sex can be just as successful as couples who have sex regularly.

Warnings

Sexual benefits all stem from safe, consensual sex. If sex is violent, non-consensual, or seen as a chore, it will weaken a relationship.^{[12]
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