How to Flirt With a Girl on Facebook

Last Updated: October 27, 2021 References

Social media has no doubt shaped the current social landscape, including the world of dating. Today, we are more connected than ever, leading to many new opportunities to meet new people. Just like flirting in real life, there is an art to flirting on social media sites such as Facebook.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Finding the Right Girl

1
Search for girls close to you. The Internet is a large place, which opens you up to exciting new options. However, hopes are that an online connection will lead to a real life one, so search for girls close to where you live. Do this by joining a local or neighborhood group and begin browsing for a potential match. ^{[1]
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2
Flirt through friends. In the real dating world, many men meet women through mutual friends; Facebook is no different. Browse your friends’ female friends and see if there is a girl that catches your eye. Once you’ve found a girl you are interested in, your friend can give you information on her such as her interests and whether or not she is single. ^{[2]
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3
Pay close attention to profile pictures. Facebook profile pictures say a lot about a girl and what she is looking for in a man. According to clinical psychologist Abigail San, a girl with a profile picture with friends wants to project an exciting, interesting life, while a girl posing carefully for her photo is concerned with her appearance, and probably yours as well.^{[3]
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4
Pay attention to how much information she shares. Once you've become Facebook friends with a girl, examine the amount of personal information she has posted. A girl that has little information made public is likely a private person in real life. Avoid asking too many questions, or she may become more withdrawn. However, don’t neglect to ask any questions, as this may give her the idea that you are not interested.^{[4]
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5
Be able to spot fakes. Some girls, even those in committed relationship catch a thrill from flirting on Facebook. While spotting fakers can be tricky, pay attention to subtle cues that may reveal that the girl is already taken.^{[5]
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6
Read between the lines when it comes to status updates. If a girl updates her status numerous times on a daily basis, it is likely that she prides herself on being socially active and having a lot of friends. Pick a light and fun destination at which to meet her so that she can fulfill her desire for fun.^{[6]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Flirting Using Facebook Features

1
Invite her to events, preferably small ones. If you have something interested planned, i.e. a small gathering or band gig, invite her to it. This will make her feel important enough to share important experiences, and not just another person in a sea of Facebook friends.^{[7]
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2
Post on her wall. Sharing a good movie, book, music, or interesting article is a good way to get her attention and flirt casually. Just remember that wall posts are public!
3
Comment and “like” her Facebook posts. This shows her that you are thinking about her and interested in her life. However, liking and commenting on absolutely everything she posts can make you seem clingy.^{[8]
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4
Poke her. “Poking” is a playful way to get a girl’s attention and let her know that you are thinking about her. What may begin as a playful Facebook poke may lead to something more intimate.^{[9]
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5
When using messenger, type how you would speak. When using social media, many people take a much more formal tone, which is not the best way to flirt. Before sending a message, read it out loud and make a mental note of whether or not it sounds too formal. ^{[10]
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- It can be hard to convey tone through messages, so use positive words like "awesome" and add exclamation points to let her know you're excited.^{[11]
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  Expert Source
  
  Michelle Jacoby
  Matchmaker & Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 7 September 2021.}
6
Refrain from posting and/or messaging too often. Being behind a screen has the potential to make anybody more bold. Just keep in mind that being too forward or sexual with her too early, even on Facebook, can come across as desperate and creepy. Actual time frames vary depending on the girl, but communicating every other day is a good jumping-off point.
7
Avoid overusing emoticons. A smiley or winking face here or there suggests a playful and casual tone, but don’t overdo it. Using emoticons sparingly shows her that you an adult and not a teenager that needs to put an emoticon at the end of every sentence.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Knowing What to Say and How to Say it

1
Keep conversations light and casual. Flirting with a girl on Facebook, stay calm and talk about topics that you have in common. Avoid being too forward or asking questions that are too personal at first. Good conversation openers include:
- "Hey, how's it going?"
- "How has your week been?"
- "Did you hear about [insert event that both of you are aware of here]?"
- "Did you hear [insert global news story here]?"
2
Talk about her instead of yourself. Both boys and girls enjoy talking about themselves, in real life and on Facebook. Asking questions about her not only keeps the conversation going, but allows you to learn more about your crush.
- If you don't know much about her, ask questions such as
  - "What did you do this week/weekend?"
  - "How was your day?"
- If you already know what she is into, ask about her hobbies.
  - "Have you heard any new good bands recently?"
  - "Have you read any good books lately?"
  - "Did you see [insert movie name here]? What did you think about it?"
3
Know when to extract information. It is possible to learn personal information about a girl, but do it in a way that is casual. Asking personal questions too soon can come off as creepy, so keep it light by asking questions like:
- "Do you have any big plans for the weekend?"
- "I noticed you have a cute pet, is that who you mostly hang out with?"
- "I saw some of your vacation pictures, what kind of fun stuff did you do?"
4
Compliment her early in the exchange. This lets her know that you are interested in being more than just friends. If you wait too long to compliment her while you have her attention, it might be too late next time. Good ways to throw in compliments include:
- If you've just met her, use a compliment along the lines of "It's great getting to know someone as interesting as you."
- If you already have information on her, use more in-depth compliments like "Your job sounds really interesting." or "It sounds like you got out of your past relationship at the right time."
- If she makes you laugh, let her know! Something as simple as "You crack me up" is enough to let her know that you appreciate her sense of humor.
5
Make it clear when you are joking. Flirting on Facebook renders body language useless, which is a large part of showing someone that you are joking. If you do tease or use sarcasm, make it very clear that what you are saying is a joke by adding an emoticon or the word joke in parenthesis.^{[12]
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Expert Source

Michelle Jacoby
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 7 September 2021.}
- There is a big difference between a girl reading "Yeah, I'm sure you look just awful in the morning" and "Yeah, I'm sure you look just awful in the morning ;)."
6
Don't reveal too much. Part of the thrill of meeting someone new is uncovering the mystery. If she asks you a personal question, say something along the lines of "You'll have to find that out next time we talk" or "Perhaps I'll tell you later". Keep her guessing, but don't be too secretive.
7
Make it clear that you are interested. Don't simply end the conversation with "It was nice talking to you". Rather, show that you are interested in talking again with a statement such as "It was great talking to you [insert name], I hope we can do this again soon". This shows her that you are interested in maintaining contact and weren't just killing time. ^{[13]
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Expert Q&A

Question

How do you subtly flirt with someone online?

Michelle Jacoby
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Michelle Jacoby is a Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and the Founder and CEO of DC Matchmaking, a privately owned, boutique matchmaking company based in Washington, DC, Maryland, and Virginia. She is also the Co-Founder of The Matchmakers Alliance, an international industry organization for matchmakers. With over 12 years of experience, Michelle specializes in one-on-one matchmaking and group coaching to help singles find healthy, lasting relationships. She has been featured in several media publications such as The Washington Post, Self, and NPR. Michelle holds a BA in Psychology from George Washington University. She is also a Certified Matchmaker from The Matchmakers Institute as well as a Certified Body Language Expert from The Body Language Institute.

Michelle Jacoby

Matchmaker & Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Digital flirting doesn't have any tone, and it's very easy to take things the wrong way. Instead, start by presenting yourself in a positive, warm, and enthusiastic light.

Warnings

Never insult her. You could end up in big trouble.

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Don't call her names or get mad and insult her when she says no, because then you just ruined every chance you get...who wants to be with a verbally abusive person?

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Remember not to be too pushy. This can put girls off.

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