How to Flirt With the Girl You Like

Co-authored by Connell Barrett

Last Updated: October 31, 2021 Approved

So you like a girl, and you want her to like you back. Maybe you're shy? Maybe you just don't know what to do?

Steps

1
Make sure she is available. You don't want to flirt with a girl that has a boyfriend. Flirting with a taken girl is a big no-no. And a bit of a turn off as she may think you are desperate.
2
Choose the right time. This may be as wide as a range as from a party, to her walking in the hall, or just plain bored outside during recess. Be aware of what she is doing at that moment. Don't try to flirt when she is busy talking or having fun, this will make her agitated because you are intruding. The best time would be a lag in a conversation or most likely when she is alone. Then you do not need to worry about people interrupting or stealing her away. But do NOT bolt her where she is by locking onto her arm or droning on with a boring conversation.

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3
Seek out common interests. This is key to approaching her without her dying to leave. If you both like soccer, comment on a recent game. If you both like a popular show, talk about last night's episode. But keep in mind, girls hate it when boys lie to seem interesting. And they will find out. Do not lie and say you absolutely love to watch a certain show and then get caught in a question any dedicated viewer would know. Be real, don't fake it. If she can't accept you for who you are, then she doesn't deserve you.
4
Make eye contact. Look her way, but don't stare! If your eyes meet, don't lower your eyes in humility. Lock your eyes with her pretty ones and you'll find it hard to look away. Just make sure your eyes are not bugged out. Keep them relaxed, add a smile, even a little wave.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} This will show you're interested.
5
Have good hygiene. Don't approach her after you've worked out. All you will accomplish with greasy hair, horrible breath, and strong B.O. is seeing how fast she can run away. Shower with soap, wash your hair, brush your teeth and tongue, and apply a light layer of cologne.
6
Start a conversation. It can be in the classroom, in the hall, outside, anywhere. Just as long as she isn't already engaged in one, you can start a light conversation. It's best to start with a question, that way she is immediately engaged and you have her attention.^{[2]
X
Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.}
7
Smile! Don't grin from ear to ear every second, but don't be a block of ice either. Warmly smile periodically.
8
Break the touch barrier. The "Touch Barrier" is a line most guys are afraid to cross because it means physical contact with someone they don't know extremely well. But this line isn't all that hard to cross if you know how. Light, innocent contact works best.^{[3]
X
Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} Brush a strand of hair out of her eyes, hold her hand to lead her somewhere, a quick hug, or a soft shoulder rub when consoling will go a long way. Be sure to do QUICK touches though, don't rough her up, and DON'T keep her in one place. This will frighten her and work the opposite way you desire.
9
Make jokes and be funny. Girls love funny guys and if you make her laugh then that's a good sign she's not regretting spending time with you. If you have to, embarrass yourself a little. This does NOT mean passing gas or slipping in mud for other's entertainment. If you stumble a bit or lose your balance, and she laughs, that's a great way to smile and give a playful nudge and say, "Don't laugh," or something of the sort.
10
Be yourself. Don't hold back your true self from her. Show who you really are and have fun with the flirting. Don't waste time thinking of wonderful aspects of your life to make up to make you sound more interesting. Be you! Like before, if she can't accept that, there's somebody out there a million times better who can.
11
Have fun with it. You have no obligation to flirt with her. You like her! So make it your own experience. If you both are giggling, smiling, and having fun, then you're doing it right. If it's awkward, laugh about it! Say, "Well this is awkward..." Chances are, she'll smile and agree, and it'll be an easy inside joke.
12
Relax. As long as you're comfortable, confident, and prepared, you'll do fine. And it can even lead to something more.

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Community Q&A

Question

I like this girl but I’m too scared to tell her. How do I tell her without getting embarrassed?

Community Answer

Try talking to her first to see if she gives you any signs she might be interested. If you notice that she smiles a lot when you're talking and seems like she enjoys talking with you, you could ask her to hang out again. Don't worry about revealing your feelings for her right off the bat. Just get to know each other and have fun!
Question

There's this girl I like in my classes. She's smart and pretty, but she doesn't seems to pay any attention to me, but always laughs at another boy. What does this mean?

Community Answer

Either she likes you and is trying to make you jealous or she doesn't like you. Try talking with her one-on-one to see what happens.
Question

There is a girl I like and we never talked before but now she is starting to talk to me about things that aren’t that important. And she smiles a bit as we look each other. Does it mean she likes me?

Community Answer

It's possible. Try talking to her and see how she responds. If she smiles a lot and wants to talk more, she might like you.

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Warnings

Be clean. Do not approach her smelling like a dumpster! Use a buddy to approve if you smell and look presentable or not.

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Do not lie to try to make yourself seem more exciting or deep, more often than not, you will get caught, and you will create a big mess.

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Do not try to flirt when she is busy. This will annoy her.

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When trying to break to touch barrier, do not fondle, grope, or manhandle her. Girls are sensitive to light touches, and a soft stroke of pushing a strand of hair behind her ear will achieve the purpose you desire.

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When embarrassing yourself, don't overdo it. You will come off as clumsy, annoying, or both.

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Do not flirt with a girl if she is in a relationship. This will make her think you are desperate, and can get you into serious trouble with her boyfriend.

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References

↑ Connell Barrett. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.
↑ Connell Barrett. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.
↑ Connell Barrett. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.

About This Article

Co-authored by:

Connell Barrett

Dating Coach

This article was co-authored by Connell Barrett. Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach." This article has been viewed 288,446 times.

13 votes - 86%

Co-authors: 22

Updated: October 31, 2021

Views: 288,446

Categories: Youth Flirting

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