How Do You Flirt with a Smart Girl? 8 Tips to Impress Her and Spark Intelligent Conversations

Co-authored by Cher Gopman and Madeleine Criglow

Last Updated: July 23, 2021 References

Flirting with a smart girl offers some unique and exciting challenges. As an intelligent woman, she'll likely be up for witty banter, thought-provoking conversations, and even some playful debates. It can be a little difficult to know how to approach someone who's super smart, though. Try to remember that she's just a person, too, with her own insecurities and doubts in the dating sphere. Read on for some more tips on how to flirt with a smart girl while remaining confident in yourself.

1

Talk to her about her interests.

A smart girl likely has a lot of things she's passionate about. If she's the all-star scholar-athlete at your school, ask her about her favorite subjects to study. Bring up things related to her passions in conversation and really take an interest in her unique perspective on them.^{[1]
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Cher Gopman
Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.} Your attention will help you stand out among others who might not be as attentive.^{[2]
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- Maybe the girl you have your eye on is super into chess. Ask her how she got started playing or if she's ever gotten into movies or TV shows about the game. You can even be playful and ask her to teach you!
- Text her if you notice something that reminds you of her. Maybe she's a total expert when it comes to film. Text something like, "I just saw an ad for the latest Sofia Coppola movie! You think you'll watch it?"

2

Compliment her intelligence.

Smart women like to know that you're attracted to their brains. If you're in a conversation and can't help but marvel at how her mind works, tell her. Be specific about what you like, such as the open-minded ideas she has about the world or her impeccable choice of words when she speaks her mind.^{[3]
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- Say something like, "Wow, I never thought about it that way. You've got such an amazing perspective on things."
- Avoid framing your compliment like you're surprised by her intelligence. This might turn her off or offend her.

3

Indulge in intellectual discussions.

A benefit to liking a smart girl is all the stimulating conversations. She'll likely be more comfortable and even excited by the opportunity to talk about things like literature, art, philosophy, and politics. Be playful in the conversation by making it a friendly debate.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Cher Gopman
Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.} A smart girl won't be intimidated by another point of view and may even welcome the opportunity to learn about a different perspective.^{[5]
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- Maybe you're on a date at the local art museum. If you walk by a particularly abstract painting, say something like, "I'm not sure how I feel about this one. What do you think it symbolizes?"
- Be flirty throughout the conversation by smiling, making eye contact, and even teasing her a little to establish a rapport. If she's clearly winning the debate, try, "Okay, you've got me. I can't keep up with you!"
- If you're debating over text, send a bull's eye emoji if she hits a really good point.^{[6]
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4

Play up your sense of humor.

A smart girl will have the quick wit to play along. Use observational humor, like funny things you notice going on wherever you're hanging out. Make witty remarks about the classes you have together or a book you both had to read for school.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Cher Gopman
Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.} You can also let GIFS, memes, and YouTube clips do the work for you. Text her a hilarious YouTube clip that you think she would find funny or send her a silly GIF from a TV show you both like.^{[8]
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- Avoid making any offensive jokes, as this can really turn her off and make her uncomfortable. Be respectful and lead with kindness when it comes to being funny.
- Be wary of sarcasm when you're first getting to know her. Even the smartest of people can have a difficult time determining if you're being serious or not, especially over text.

5

Send her flirty texts.

Not all of your attention has to be related to her intelligence! A smart girl, like any person who's crushing on someone, will appreciate some flirtatious texts. Text her a funny meme that reminded you of her. Send her a friendly "Good morning" text to let her know that she's on your mind. Throw in an emoji every now and then to make things more playful, like a smiley face or a heart if you're feeling bold.^{[9]
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- If you hung out the night before, text her something like, "Hey you! I had such a good time last night. Thanks again :)"
- Maybe she was out for the day and you didn't see her at school. Text her, "Missed you in class today! School is so boring without you."

6

Focus on your similarities.

Establish common ground to build a connection. If she's really knowledgeable about something you don't know about, it can be tempting to think that you don't have much in common. Pay attention to your common interests instead so that you don't count yourself out before you even try.^{[10]
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- Maybe she's more knowledgeable about 19th-century literature, but you both love reading. Discuss what you both love about books, and why you're drawn to the genres that you both respectively enjoy.

7

Be confident in your own intelligence.

Avoid trying to show off to impress her. A smart girl is just a person after all, and she's likely got things she's nervous about, too. Try your best to be comfortable with who you are. Remind yourself of your own unique intelligence and strengths. Try to remember these qualities anytime you get worried that you can't compete with her smarts.^{[11]
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Expert Source

Cher Gopman
Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.}
- Maybe you're incredibly knowledgeable when it comes to music history or action movies. Perhaps you're a talented artist or a super-skilled athlete. Own these qualities instead of pretending to be someone else.
- Everyone's got their own unique strengths. Maybe she likes the fact that you're a little more laid back or could benefit from your easygoing nature when it comes to things like school and academic competition.

8

Avoid being too obvious.

A smart girl will really appreciate some mystery instead. That way, it won't be so easy to figure you out. Be a little more subtle, like flirting through a quick smile and some eye contact, or 1 genuine compliment as opposed to 5. You want to leave her wanting more with each interaction, and an intelligent woman will likely be up for the challenge to get to know you better.^{[12]
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- Be genuine and tailor your compliments and flirty jokes to her specifically. A smart woman will probably be able to tell if you're using a pick-up line.