How to Get Invited to a Party

Co-authored by wikiHow Staff

Last Updated: February 16, 2023

It can be crushing when you hear about a party that many of your friends are invited to while you are not. Or maybe you went through a somewhat anti-social phase and can't seem to shake the loner-image, leaving you perpetually without an invitation. If you don't want to sit at home all night wishing you were at the party, there are ways of turning your lack of an invitation into an all access pass.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Using Your Connections

1
Mention the party to your friends. You might casually bring it up while chatting about your plans for the weekend, or you might ask directly. You should target friends that you think have already been invited, because if you bring up the party to another friend who's uninvited, you might end up making that person feel left out.
- If you get into a situation where you and a few friends weren't uninvited to a party, you could throw a party of your own.
2
Piggyback on the invitations of friends. In most cases it is generally accepted for invited guests to bring a "plus one" to a big to-do. If your friend tells you that he has received an invitation, you can say try to get invited by saying things like:
- "That's fantastic! I wish I could be there, too."
- "You know, I don't have any plans that night. You think it'd be alright if I tagged along?"
- "Dude, it's been forever since we've gotten rowdy! We should go together!"
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3
Show your appreciation when tagging along. If your friend agrees to bring you with him, you should show your thanks in some small way, like by offering to drive to the shindig. Be sure to get the particulars from your friend since he has the invitation, and try to be accommodating to his wishes.
4
Accept being turned down graciously. If your friend says he's made arrangements to go to the party with someone else, be courteous and pleasant. After all, your friend probably didn't know you weren't invited or that you needed a piggyback-invite. Then check with other friends you think may have been invited to see if you can tag along with them.
- Even if turned down, you may be able to ask your friend if he has any leads for a mutual friend who is going that you can tag along with.
5
Ask to go through a friend. This is an especially useful tactic if a good friend of yours has been invited while you have not. This way, you can save yourself and the host some embarrassment by asking indirectly through your friend. You might coach your friend to say to the host:
- "Hey Emily, I was talking with my friend John the other day, and he doesn't have anything going on this weekend during the party. I didn't say anything about it in case it wasn't cool with you, but would you mind if I invited him along?"
- "Emily! I have a favor to ask. I wanna come to your party so bad, it sounds mad awesome, but I promised my buddy Kris I'd chill with him. You know him? He's real cool - mind if he comes along?"

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Providing a Service for the Party

1
Identify a unique service you can provide. A small effort on your part can go a long way toward charming the host into forgetting that you weren't invited. A unique skill, like decorating talent or a knowledge of specialty drinks, can enhance the theme of the party . You might:
- Make specialty decorations.
- Mix up a batch of your favorite party drink.
- Offer your services as a DJ.^{[1]
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2
Offer to help out the host. Many people feel awkward about approaching the party host or one of its organizers to offer help, but this can get you on their good side and earn you an invite. It may be easier for you to ask someone you already know. Start with specific suggestions, but also offer to help in any way you can. You might suggest:
- Helping with decorations, for larger parties.
- Assisting refreshing party necessaries, like ice.
- Organizing or setting up sound equipment.
3
Prepare yourself to help. If the host or one of the party organizers accepts your offers of help, you might be put to work double-time. Follow instructions and use your judgement to try and take as much pressure of the host/organizers as you possibly can. And don't forget to relax about your invite - now that you're involved with party preparation, you are most likely invited!^{[2]
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4
Show initiative. You could hurt your chances of getting invited to a party next time around if you sit around when you're supposed to be helping or only do the bare minimum. If you finish your job early, see about helping others in their tasks. Even something as simply as handing pieces of tape to someone putting up decorations can help the party set up go smoothly.
5
Take the hint if rejected, but be politely persistent. It can hurt if the party host or organizer says everything is taken care of without offering an invite, but there are other considerations the host may be taking into account. It's even possible that the host is trying to protect you from having a bad time, especially if, for instance, someone you seriously dislike will be attending.
- If you have a great idea that would add to the party, you might suggest this to the host, but you should be aware that this refusal might be a gentle way of saying you aren't invited.
- As an example, you might volunteer to take photos of the party to commemorate the event. If the party host or organizer likes your idea, you are in!^{[3]
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Donating Supplies to the Party

1
Anticipate the needs of the party. The kind of party being thrown will dictate the things that need to be available for the party to be a success! A dance party isn't much of a dance party without music, a wine tasting party could benefit from an intriguing vintage, and almost every large party needs ice at some point.
- By anticipating needs, you can prove to the host that you'd be a welcome addition to the party crew.
2
Add to party supplies or bring a gift for the host. There are cost effective ways of doing this, like making a dish to pass, or bringing suitable beverages. Think carefully about what you can bring to make the party even better, or bring a specific gift for the host that takes her tastes into consideration. For example, you might:
- Bring seasonal gifts, like a plastic pumpkin of Halloween candy, eggnog, winter themed treats, or cold drinks in the summer.
- Give a mixology set as a present for when the party gets started, but only if age appropriate.
- A dish to pass or snacks to contribute.^{[4]
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3
Mention your potential contribution to the host. Now that you've figured out a worthwhile contribution, bring it up to the party host or organizers. For instance, if you have a delicious recipe for chocolate chip cookies, you can simply say something like:
- "Emily, I heard about your party. Sound super fun! If you need any dessert, I make killer chocolate chip cookies - my grandmother's recipe. Everybody love them!"
- "So what are your plans for the weekend? Oh, a party? Well, if you need dessert, I have the best recipe for homemade chocolate chip cookies."^{[5]
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4
Accept the invite, or politely accept being turned down. If your offer matches the needs of the party or the tastes of the host, you'll almost certainly be invited! This scenario has the added benefit of not only getting you legitimately invited to the party, but you'll also be appreciated for your contribution to it!
- There's always a possibility, whether due to your associations or the hosts perceptions, that you might be denied. Getting angry in this situation rarely does anything positive for your reputation. Be polite and have fun on your own.

Community Q&A

Question

I was invited to a friend's party and was pressured into drinking and stuff last year. How can I say I don't want to go?

Community Answer

Just tell them kindly but firmly something like, "I appreciate your gracious invite and I thank you, but I don't want to go because you drink. I'm not into drinking, and I don't want to go somewhere I'm going to be peer pressured." If they blow up/won't be your friend anymore, then they were not a very good friend to begin with and you're better off.
Question

If our friends invite us and we can't attend because we don't have a car, what can we do?

Community Answer

You can ask someone to drop you off or you can ask someone who is going to give you a lift.
Question

I have many friends, but no one invites me to parties. What can I do?

Community Answer

Throw your own party! The more you put yourself out there, the more people will consider you as a person they want to have at their party.

Warnings

Try and avoid heavy or overly serious topics of conversation, like religion, politics, money, or war. These can make others feel uncomfortable, and may result in you not being invited back.

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For parties that are very expensive or intimate (such as weddings), asking for an invitation can be considered inappropriate.

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Never drink too much at any party you attend. Becoming too intoxicated might lead you to doing or saying something that leaves you out of the next party.

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