How to Get Rid of Someone You Don't Like

Co-authored by Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP

Last Updated: January 8, 2023

Have you been trying to get rid of someone you don't like, but have found that nothing works? This person could be an annoying person who thinks she's your friend, a guy you're not interested in who has a big crush on you, or the new girl who follows you around all day. If you want to get rid of someone you don't like, the most straightforward way to do it is to either confront that person or just to avoid him until he gets the picture. But if the person really doesn't get the picture, then you can start being annoying until the person decides to distance himself. If you want to know how to get rid of someone you don't like, just follow these steps.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Avoiding the Person

1
Ignore the person's phone calls. No matter how often the person calls or texts you, don't respond, not even the calls or texts sound desperate.^{[1]
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Research source} If the person follows you around, make it obvious that you respond to your calls and texts and are purposefully ignoring that person. If he says, "Did you get my call?" you should look vacant and confused, like you don't know what he's talking about. This might help drive the point home.
2
Ignore the person on social media. No matter how often the person posts on your Facebook wall, comments on your photos, or retweets something you've written, do not acknowledge him. If the he commented on one of your statuses along with a lot of other people, you should "like" the comments of all of the other people but not his comments. Make it clear that you want nothing to do with that person — whether it's online or in person.^{[2]
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Research source}

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3
Avoid places the person goes. If you know that the girl you're trying to avoid always hangs out at a certain coffee shop, always goes to a certain friend's party, or always goes to the movies on Friday nights, avoid those places. If you don't go where the person goes, you'll be less likely to run into that person. But if the person is always around you, this won't help you too much.
4
Change your routine. Stop going to the same lunch spot, the same diner, or the same bar or club. If the person you're trying to avoid knows exactly where to find you, it'll be hard to get rid of him or her. Though you shouldn't change your life completely to avoid this person, making some changes to your daily routine can help improve your life and get the person out of it.
- If the person always sits near you at lunch, try moving all of your friends to a different lunch table far away from your usual spot, so the person has a hard time finding you.
- If you and your friends always go to the same place for dinner on Friday nights, pick a place across town and don't mention the change to the person.
- If the person always follows you around the halls, change your routine for getting to class.
5
Find some new friends. If your friends really do like that person or are too nice to be honest with that person, then you may have to find a new friend or even an entirely new group of friends. The person will be less likely to bother you if you're hanging out with all new people, and if you have new friends, it's likely you'll be hanging out at new places and the person will be less likely to find you or follow you around.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Confronting the Person

1
Plan what to say. If you want to confront the person and tell him or her that you don't want to hang out anymore, you should plan what you say carefully. If you have a random outburst or don't choose your words wisely, the person may not think that you're being serious or that you really thought it through. You're going to tell that person that you don't want to hang out with him anymore, so you can think of the best way to explain why.^{[3]
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- If the person is just really annoying and you don't have the heart to say it, just say that you're not enjoying the friendship, that the friendship is harmful for you, or that you'd just like to spend some time apart from the person — permanently.
- If there's a more concrete reason, like the person makes you feel bad about yourself, the person always talks about himself and doesn't listen to anyone, or the person is even outright mean to you, then you can tell the person this.
- If you don't want to be honest, that's fine too, if you think it'll just cause major conflict. Tell the person you don't have time for friends, that you're going through a hard time and want to be alone, or that you just want to focus on your studies.
2
Tell the person that you're ending the friendship. Pick a time and place where you can be relatively alone, and say what you have to say. Stand a bit far away from the person and cross your arms over your chest, showing that you're already retreating. Don't give the person an opening to try to win you over, promise to change, or even try to touch or hug you.^{[4]
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- Keep it short. Don't give the person a lot of time to react.
- Maintain eye contact. Show the person that you really mean it.
3
Find the person another friend. If you want to be nice after confronting the person, you can steer the person toward a club, activity, or new location that can help the person make some new friends. This can not only be better for the person, but better for you. But you should only do this if you're feeling a bit sorry for kicking the person out of your life.
- If the person finds new friends, he'll forget about you in no time at all.
4
Follow through. If you've decided to cut off contact with that person for good (after potentially steering him in a new direction), then make the decision final. Don't let the person grovel, randomly show up, or follow you into a coffee shop and force you to have coffee. No means no, no matter what. If the person continues to bug you, you shouldn't sound threatening, but be confident and decisive about your decision.
- Sometimes, cutting ties is necessary for personal growth.^{[5]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP
  Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor
  Expert Interview. 19 August 2020.}

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Being Annoying

1
Cry — a lot. You should cry or just be visibly upset most of the time when you're around that person. Talk about how you're having an emotional breakdown and how everything in the world is so sad and unfair and how you just can't stop crying and being so, so sad. At first, the person may feel honored to be allowed to help you, but if you keep this up for a few weeks, he may walk away on his own.
2
Talk about how great you are. Everyone loves a good narcissist. Spend all of your time talking about how hot you are, how many people love you, and how you're going to be rich and famous so, so soon. Look in the mirror constantly, reapply your makeup, mention how stunning you look all the time, and just spin around talking about how you're wearing the best outfit ever.^{[6]
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- Use the words "me" and "I" as often as possible, and cut the person off any time he mentions himself.
- When the person talks about himself, just look confused, like you can't possibly understand what it has to do with you.
3
Be a flake. Flakes are the best kind of people. Make elaborate plans to meet up with that person, assuring him that you won't flake again. When the time comes, don't show up, and don't answer calls from that person. The next day, you can say, "I completely forgot!" You can also give a really bad excuse, like, "I had to wash my hair!" or "I just couldn't stop watching Hoarders!"^{[7]
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- This should make the person avoid you in no time at all.

Community Q&A

Question

I have a feeling the guy I hate likes me but he is really sensitive. How do I tell him I don't like him?

Community Answer

As it stands, honesty is better than any other method when it comes to communication. Based on your explanation, there would never be a workaround if someone gets mad at every little thing. All you can do is tell him outright and stand behind your claim. You should never have to work around something like this when you are trying to end a relationship. If the person you are telling gets angry, you have the obligation to walk away and never look back. In a perfect situation, there would be an actual solution, but all you can do is tell them the truth and negate any negative emotions they would throw back at you.
Question

How do I get rid of someone who is obsessed with me to the point where they are frightening me?

Community Answer

If you tried being nice about it and it didn't work, you will need to take a firmer stance by telling the person to back off. This usually helps. You should also consider telling someone you trust, such as a parent or teacher. If you are an adult, and this is a serious situation, you could tell the police or get a restraining order put on the person.
Question

Should I tell a vice principal that she is annoying me?

Community Answer

Assuming you're a student at the school, no, you shouldn't. If you have a serious issue with the vice principal, talk to a teacher or a parent about it and see if they can organize a conference where you can respectfully talk through your issues. Otherwise, just avoid the vice principal as much as possible. If you don't get in trouble, you should rarely see them.

Warnings

Be careful about what you say. Word travels, and other people may not speak to you if they think you've been rude or mean. Choose your words carefully.

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Helpful 101 Not Helpful 12
If you are dealing with someone who has a crush on you, it is best to be upfront and clear you have no feelings for them. It will prevent later accusations of "playing with their feelings."

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Be aware that your other relationship may be affected if you try to get rid of them. Is a good friend of yours close to this person? Trying to get rid of them may affect your relationship with your friend.

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Do not under-estimate the 6-degrees of separation game. Don't burn your bridges- life is long and circles are small.

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