How to Get Your Ex Back Fast by Text Message

Written by Connell Barrett | Edited by Danielle Blinka, MA, MPA

Last Updated: December 3, 2022 References

You’re still crushing on your ex, and you want them back fast. Fortunately, texting them is a great way to reconnect and get them to miss you. Crafting the perfect opening text is fairly easy, and we’ll even help you out with what to say. Once you break the ice, focus on reconnecting with your ex so you can rebuild attraction and trust. Keep reading to find out what to text to get your ex back fast.

This article is based on an interview with our professional dating coach, Connell Barrett, founder of Dating Transformation. Check out the full interview here.

1

“Can you help me with something?”

Asking for advice is a simple, easy way to start a conversation. Use your knowledge about them to ask for expert advice. It’ll make them feel good about themselves, so they’ll probably respond back quickly. Here are some variations on this text:
- “Can you recommend a good video game for my brother’s birthday?”
- “I just got a new guitar. Any tips for a beginner?”
- “My laptop keeps restarting. Any advice on how to fix it?”
- “I’m choosing classes for next semester. Was that graphic design course you took worth it?”
- “I can’t get past level 58 on Game Quest. Any advice?”
- “I just got a new puppy! When did you start teaching your dog tricks?”

2

“You won’t believe what I’m doing right now.”

Use this to grab their interest without saying you miss them. If they respond, tell them you’re doing something you used to do together or something they always recommended you try. Hopefully, this will start up a conversation. Here are some follow-up texts you could send when they ask “What?”
- “I’m at the escape room you always wanted to try.”
- “I’m at the arcade trying to beat your top score.”
- “I’m finally trying that coffee you say is so good.”
- “I’m at the waterpark where you used to work.”

3

“This made me think of you.”

Show them you remember details from your relationship. Tell them you've recently seen or heard something that connects back to their interests, hobbies, or goals. Hopefully, they’ll text you back and you can keep the conversation going. Here are some ways to say you’re thinking of them:
- “I just heard our song, and it made me think of you.”
- “I rewatched the Harry Potter series last weekend. I couldn’t help but think of you.”
- “I’m at a baseball game and can’t stop thinking about watching you play.”
- “I just saw a stream of your favorite game, it reminded me of you.”
- “This meme made me think of you.”

4

“My family asked about you today.”

Take the pressure off by saying someone else was thinking about them. It’s really scary to admit you miss someone. You might not be ready to admit you’re thinking about them, and that’s okay. Just say it was someone else, like your family or friends. You could also say:
- “Keilani told me you made the team. Congrats!”
- “My friends say they saw you at the movies last night.”
- “Today my mom told her friends the story about the time you rescued Roscoe from the tree.”

5

“Do you remember this?”

Remind them of a happy memory from your relationship. Sharing a memory is a great way to stir up nostalgia and make them miss you. Choose a happy memory that you’re sure they enjoyed.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} Try something like this:
- “Remember when we sang that duet at karaoke?”
- “Do you remember swimming together in the lake last summer?”
- “Do you remember our candlelit picnic in the park?”
- “Remember when we went stargazing?”
- “Do you remember catching that foul ball at the game last year?”

6

“This picture has me remembering good times.”

Text them a photo of you two together. This is another way to remind them of your happy memories together. Pick a photo where you both look cute, so they remember how attracted they were to you.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} Send something like this:
- A photo of you two at a dance or wedding.
- A picture of y’all smiling in front of a landmark.
- A pic of you both at the beach or lake.
- A photo of you both hiking.
- A picture of you cuddling.

7

“Do you still like this?”

Ask them about a hobby or interest to start up a conversation. You’ll be able to break the ice, and this shows them you remember details about their life. Pick something they really cared about, like their favorite band or their goal in life. You might try:
- “Is Taylor Swift still your favorite singer?”
- “Do you still like blueberry cream cheese on your bagels?”
- “Are you still into kpop?”
- “Are you still writing your novel?”

8

“What do you miss most about our relationship?”

An open-ended question is a great way to start a conversation. This works best if you had a fairly easy break-up because your ex likely won’t have hard feelings toward you. Try to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship to help make them miss you. Other questions you might ask include:
- “What have you been doing since our break-up?”
- “What was your favorite moment during our relationship?”
- “What do you think could have saved our relationship?”
- “What do you think about when you think of me?”

9

“I’m really sorry for what I did. Can I ever make it up to you?”

Send an apology text if you made a mistake in the past. You might start here if you really hurt them while you were together. Tell them that you know you messed up and promise that you’ll treat them better in the future.^{[3]
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Research source} Here are some ways you could apologize:
- “I’ve been thinking a lot about how I hurt you. I regret what I did so much, and I really want to make things right.”
- “I know I made some mistakes in our relationship. I’ve really been working on myself, and I know things can be different.”
- “I’m so sorry for hurting you. What I did was wrong, and I promise I’ve changed. Can you give me another chance?”

10

“I really miss you.”

Be honest and vulnerable about how you feel once they respond. It’s scary, but telling them how you feel is the best way to get them back. Hopefully, they’ll feel the same way, and you’ll get back together. Here are some other ways you could express your feelings:
- “Honestly, I can’t stop thinking about you. I hope you’ll give me another chance.”
- “I’ve really missed you over these past few weeks.”
- “I’m so happy we’re talking again. I’ve been so sad since the breakup. I miss you.”
- “Honestly, I still love you.”

11

“Wanna come to a group hangout?”

Invite them to hangout with a group as a first step. Your goal is to get them back, but you might not be ready to ask them for a date. A group hangout is a great first step to rekindling what you had in the past.^{[4]
X
Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} You could try something like this:
- “There’s a game night at Yuli’s house this weekend. Wanna come?”
- “A group of us are going bowling this weekend. Want to join us?”
- “I’m forming a study group for English class. We’re meeting at the coffee house tomorrow at 4:00 p.m. if you want to come.”
- “Ling is starting a sci-fi book club, and I thought you’d be interested. We’re going to meet this Saturday to pick the first book. Do you want to come?”

12

“Do you want to go out?”

Ask them out on a date when you feel ready. You’re probably really eager to get them back, but getting back together takes a bit of time. Start reconnecting by going on a date.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} Here are some ways to ask them out:
- “I’ve been craving Mexican food lately. Wanna get dinner with me at Cafe Bonita this Friday?”
- “I still want a mini golf rematch. Would you be up for a round this Saturday?”
- “I really miss laughing with you. Are you open to grabbing coffee tomorrow afternoon so we can catch up?”
- “I have an extra ticket to the game this weekend. Would you be interested in going with me?”

Warnings

Stop texting your ex if they’ve made it clear they want to be left alone. It’s really important to respect their space.

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Make sure you know why you want your ex back. If you’re just lonely, it might be best to move on, even though it’s really hard. Try focusing on hobbies and spending time with friends right now.^{[8]
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Research source}

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