How to Get a Middle School Crush to Like You

Co-authored by Imad Jbara

Last Updated: July 14, 2022 Approved

You see them in the hallway every day, wondering if they notice you and/or likes you. The truth is that waiting won't change anything and won't enlighten you as to their feelings. You'll need to find the courage to start interacting with your crush and getting to know them better, perhaps eventually working up to asking them out. It may take time but the best experiences in life are those worth waiting for.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Preparing yourself

1
Be yourself. Act the same way you do when you’re around your friends, don't act differently around them than the way you act around your crush. If you do, he or she will think you're being a fake. So act normal and friendly.
2
Be realistic. Realize that you cannot make a person like you. You can be persuasive and encourage a person by being charming, friendly, and happy in their presence, but you cannot force their interest to focus solely on you. As such, it's important to be realistic and accept that they may want to be "just friends" or won't even want that. However, that doesn't mean that you don't try. It means that you learn to read the signs and respect the decision they make, as hard as it may be if it doesn't go in your favor.

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3
Look good. Dress nicely and neatly. Show your flair by wearing things that represent your style.
- Stay comfortable. There is no point in looking good if you're suffering. Jeans that are so skinny you can barely walk will elicit giggles in sports class, not awe-inspiring looks.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Getting to know your crush better

1
Spend some time around your crush. Do you both like the same things? Perhaps you play the same sport or do the same activity during lunch hour or after school? Make the most of things you both connect on.
2
Help your crush. Has your crush been having some troubles in a subject you're just ace at? Hop in and offer some advice, and some tutoring help. What a great way to get closer!
3
Loan things or share things with your crush. Show him or her your generous side by offering things when in need, such as a forgotten pencil or lunch, or a listen to your newly downloaded hit song.
4
Make conversation. Talk about stuff that they want to talk about. Talk about stuff that you would like to talk about. Ask your crush some fun questions, such as "when is your birthday?", "What is your favorite color?". Little by little you'll get to know her or him.
5
Be nice and be kind at all times. There is no need to be rude or to show bad manners.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Showing your interest

1
Flirt a little. Act the same but with a little bit of flirting and feeling this time. When they make a joke, laugh genuinely. When you see them in the hallway, make eye contact and perhaps offer a wink. When you both are staring at each other, don't worry if either of you blushes a little––that just shows you that you're both attracted to each other.
2
Compliment your crush. Don't offer too many compliments, just enough to make it clear that you don't mind noticing the good things about her or him. To make things extra special, try to compliment their character instead of just their looks. You might say that they're:
- Intelligent
- Exciting
- Spontaneous
- Adventurous
3
Break the touch barrier. Whenever you are sitting by them, angle your toes where they are sitting, then bump against your crush gently. Gently brush away a hair from their shoulder or even face. Gently hold their arm briefly. Be a little touchy-feely without overdoing it.
4
Invite your crush somewhere in a group. Invite them to your house for a party or ask them to dance with you at a class party. Keep your friends around and your crush's friends around at first, to keep it light.
5
Work up the courage to ask your crush out. When you have the impression that they are interested in you, ask them for a date. That is, if he or she hasn't already asked you.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you show a guy that you're interested but not desperate?

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.

Imad Jbara

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Flirt back with him! If he invites you to go out somewhere, send back something playful, like "Do you really think you can win me over with that cute smile and charm? You're gonna need to do more than that."
Question

I tried giving my crush notes, but he didn't respect me. I want him to like me! What should I do?

Community Answer

It's not what you want to hear, but you shouldn't pursue this crush. This person doesn't respect you. Him having a crush on you wouldn't suddenly make him respect you, and you can't fix someone's problems or make them a different person, even if they do like you back. Getting in a relationship with someone who doesn't respect you can lead to you growing resentful at best, and the relationship becoming abusive at worst. It would be in your better interest to get over this crush. Remember, as much as you may like him, you deserve someone who will respect you unconditionally, and anyone who says otherwise is wrong.