How to Give a Lap Dance

Co-authored by William Orrock

Last Updated: November 26, 2022 References Approved

If you want to give a lap dance, you have to let loose, be sexy, and work your body with confidence. To give an unforgettable lap dance, you'll need to set the mood and be graceful on and off the chair. If you want to know how to give a lap dance that drives your partner wild, just follow these steps.

Part 1

Part 1 of 4:

Set the Mood

1
Wear a sexy outfit. You don't have to look like an exotic dancer to give a lap dance. Just put on an outfit that emphasizes your best features while also letting you move around comfortably. You can wear sporty leggings and a sports top over sexy lingerie, a long dress, or anything that makes you feel sexy.
- If you decided to combine your lap dance with a strip tease, lingerie and mini-dresses are good for this purpose. If you wear a garter belt, underwear should be layered on top.^{[1]
  X
  Research source} High heels make legs look sexy.
2
Play sexy music. Pick some music that is sexy enough to set the mood, but upbeat enough for you to dance to. Practice dancing to it in advance to make sure that it's good for lap dancing, not love making. A typical lap dance shouldn't last more than a minute or two -- if you're doing it right, then your partner will want to have you before the first song is over. Still, it's better to be prepared with a few songs just so you don't run out of tunes in the middle of your dance. Here are some sexy songs that are perfect for a lap dance:
- "So Alive" by Love And Rockets
- "Skin Trade" by Duran Duran
- "Cream" by Prince
- "Cradle of Love" by Billy Idol
- "Not Enough Time" by INXS
- "Say it Right" by Nelly Furtado
- "Let Me Put My Love Into You" by AC/DC
- "Love Me Like You Do" by Ellie Goulding
- "wRoNg" by Zayn
- "Work" by Rihanna
3
Dim the lights. Lap dances are sexier if you're not doing them under garish lights. Turn down the lights in your home, throw a scarf or cloth over your brighter lamps, or even light some candles. The lights should be bright enough so that your partner can see you working your body, but not so bright that they can see every little freckle on your face.
4
Pick a sturdy chair. If you want to give a good lap dance, then the chair should be just as important as the one sitting in it. Pick a chair with thick, sturdy legs and a high and reliable back. The chair should also comfortably hold the weight of you and your partner. If you pick a chair that's too flimsy and end up falling over or even breaking it, it'll be hard to recover.
5
Make your partner sit in the chair. Tell your partner to sit down in the chair. They shouldn't sit like they're attending a lecture -- they should be comfortable, slightly slouched with their legs spread open a bit. Their body should say, "Hey, come dance on me."^{[2]
X
Research source}

Part 2

Part 2 of 4:

Have a Sexy Approach

1
Strut into the room. Walk into the room like a sexy professional who's done a lap dance a million times and knows they're great at it. Walk with one foot in front of the other, your back straight, and your shoulders high. Start moving your hips up and down, and slowly gliding your hands along your body to give your partner a taste of what's to come.^{[3]
X
Research source}
2
Maintain the right expression. Make sexy eye contact and look away from your partner and down at your body from time to time. You should keep your lips parted and smile slightly, just enough to let your partner see that you know how sexy you are.
3
Circle the chair. Casually strut around the chair, continuing to work your hips up and down to the music. Caress your partner's shoulder, and even lower your body to the floor when you're standing behind them, just to get them even more in the mood.
4
Have a seat. The lap dance can't begin until you're actually on your partner's lap. Stand in front of them with your chest leaning towards their face and your butt slightly out, and slowly lower yourself onto their lap.
5
Wrap one leg around the back of the chair for support, and then the other. This should keep you from falling off the chair.
6
Wrap your arms around your partner's neck. To start, wrap your arms around your partner's neck while continuing to move your body up and down.
7
Tease your partner. While your bodies are so close, move your body against theirs, lean your face close to theirs, and lean in for a kiss -- but just a quick kiss on the lips that leaves them wanting more. Don't get too sexy before you show off your hot moves.

Part 3

Part 3 of 4:

Show off Your Moves

1
Bend down like a sex goddess. Slowly unwrap your legs from the chair and stand between their spread legs. Place your hands on their knees, and move toward their face, and then slowly lower yourself until you're moving your body from side to side with your face near their stomach. Place your hands on their sides for just a second, and then slowly work your way back up.
2
Do the simple figure eight. It's all in the hips -- just stand in front of your partner and move your hips in a simple figure eight until they look like they can't take it anymore. Move your hands from the air to your breasts and then down to your sides as you do this. You can even try turning around while you work it.^{[4]
X
Research source}
3
Touch yourself. Firmly push your partner back against the chair, and stand in front of them. Don't even let your bodies touch. Move your hands up and down your body, like you're rubbing bubbly soap all over yourself. Be sensual, and close your eyes. Pretend you're in the shower if that helps get you in the mood. If they try to reach out for you, slap their hand away.^{[5]
X
Research source}
4
Shake your butt. Turn around while you're standing between your partner's legs, and slowly get low until your hands are near the floor and you're shaking your thang near your partner's crotch, stomach, or even all the way up to their face. Continue to move your body seductively as you do this, and then slowly work your way up to standing position.
- If you're feeling confident, you can even turn around to give your partner a subtle smile as you do this.
- For a variation, you can put your hands on your partner's knees instead of the floor.
5
Bend back. Sit on your partner's lap while keeping one arm around their shoulder. Sweep your free arm downward until you're almost touching the floor and your chest is front and center. Gently move your free hand up and down like you're riding a bull in slow-motion.
6
Bend back even further. If you feel like your lap dancing skills are up to snuff and have a pretty flexible back, then move your free arm all the way back until it touches the floor, and your pelvis is gyrating against your partner's. Now, take the hand that was wrapped around their neck and sweep it down to the floor too, working it up and down while your other hand remains planed on the floor. Continue to move your hips and body as you do this.
7
Dance behind your partner. If you're feeling really sexy, stand behind the chair, facing the back of your partner's head, and gently lower your chest towards their head. Move your body downward as you caress the area above their waist all the way up to their face. Don't try this one for more than fifteen seconds, or your partner may go crazy.

Part 4

Part 4 of 4:

Make a Graceful Exit

1
Unwrap one leg from the back of the chair, then the other. Lean towards your partner to make it easier for you to unhook your leg from the back of the chair.
2
Place your hands on your partner's shoulders. Be firm, but not too rough.
3
Keep your butt perched in the air. Push your chest closer to your partner while pushing your butt and back out for balance.
4
Use their body to move yourself into standing position. Slowly push back on their shoulders until your feet are firmly planted in standing position and you've found your balance.
5
Stay sexy. Don't leave the chair like you're walking out to a business meeting. Continue to work your hips and run your hands across your body as you remove yourself from the chair. Once you're off -- stay hot and prepare for whatever happens next.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do I establish that I'm in control?

William Orrock
Professional Dancer & Instructor
William Orrock is a Professional Dancer, Instructor, Group Fitness Instructor, and the Owner of We Evolve Dance. With more than 22 years of experience, he specializes in performance, social dancing instruction, competitive dance preparation, and wedding choreography. William holds a Bachelor's degree in Contemporary Dance with a minor in Choreography from Universidad Las Americas-Chile and a second minor in Acting from Foothill College Acting Conservatory. He is also a national champion in Latin American Dancing, a former dancer for Dancing with the Stars Chile, and a certified judge for ballroom competitions.

William Orrock

Professional Dancer & Instructor

Expert Answer

Tell your partner that, for this dance routine, you'll make all the decisions and they'll simply need to follow your lead. Let your natural instincts as the "leader" guide your dance movements and take initiative. Your partner will realize that you are guiding how the dance develops.
Question

How do I choose the best song for my dance number?

William Orrock
Professional Dancer & Instructor
William Orrock is a Professional Dancer, Instructor, Group Fitness Instructor, and the Owner of We Evolve Dance. With more than 22 years of experience, he specializes in performance, social dancing instruction, competitive dance preparation, and wedding choreography. William holds a Bachelor's degree in Contemporary Dance with a minor in Choreography from Universidad Las Americas-Chile and a second minor in Acting from Foothill College Acting Conservatory. He is also a national champion in Latin American Dancing, a former dancer for Dancing with the Stars Chile, and a certified judge for ballroom competitions.

William Orrock

Professional Dancer & Instructor

Expert Answer

Think about songs that you're most passionate about. Remember—these songs don't have to be popular hits. Simply choose music that you and your partner can get carried away with. It's also a wonderful idea to choose songs that help you "feel the rhythm" and that you feel confident about dancing to.
Question

What if my partner wants me to do the lap dance naked?

Community Answer

If you are not comfortable with this, then tell him\her, and offer to go out and buy a sexy outfit for the dance. If you are comfortable doing it, then go ahead! Either way, your partner should respect your feelings.