How to Help an Autistic Child Cope with Change

Last Updated: March 29, 2022 References

For autistic children, change can be especially challenging. These children tend to enjoy set routines with predictable structure. If you are a parent or caregiver of an autistic child, you may be wondering how to help the child handle new situations. While change is hard, unexpected change is particularly stressful for autistic children. That’s why it’s important to attempt to predict and prepare for changes in your child’s life. After identifying upcoming changes, you can use strategies to help the child practice new behaviors and adjust to the change.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Predicting and Preparing for Change

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Anticipate changes in routine. Planning ahead can help a child prepare for upcoming changes. If you expect there may be an upsetting or unexpected situation coming up in your lives, think of some ways to help your child handle the change. Use a countdown timer or a visual aid like a calendar to help the child understand when the change will take place.^{[1]
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Research source} It is also a good idea to start small and try to only implement one change at a time.
- Instead of using clock times, try using events such as waking up or lunchtime as reference points when you explain the new activity. If you tell an autistic child that something will happen at three o’clock but it doesn’t actually happen until four o’clock, they may be upset.^{[2]
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- It is also important to make sure that all family members are in the loop on the change. This will help to reinforce the changes and increase your child’s comfort level with them.
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Explain what will happen during the new activity or change. Autistic children prefer the known to the unknown. Not knowing what to expect can induce a great deal of anxiety in an autistic child. By talking to the child about what will occur during a new event, you can make the change seem less unfamiliar and scary.^{[3]
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- Emphasize the positive aspects of the change to the child. Say something like, “You’re going to learn so much at this new school” or “This checkup might not be fun, but it is important to make sure you are healthy.” You might also pair the new activity or change with special treats or rewards to help build a positive association.
- Keep in mind that you will likely need to have several conversations about the change. This will help your child to retain the information and become comfortable with it. Consider he needs of your child to help you decide how early to begin this process.
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Offer routine or familiar activities whenever possible. Routines are comforting to autistic children. The more you can integrate familiar objects, people, or activities into a new situation or event, the less anxious the child may feel.^{[4]
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- For instance, you could bring along a familiar toy on vacation or pack the same lunch for your child when they start attending a new school.
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Inform teachers and other caregivers about the change. Autistic children may find school and other social situations particularly stressful when they are dealing with a change in their life. Tell your child’s teachers, babysitters, and other caregivers about the new situation, and make sure they know the best ways to help the child deal with their anxiety.^{[5]
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- You might say, “Billy is really worried about attending the new after-school program. If you could be sure to make positive comments about the program to him, that would be helpful.”

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Practicing the Change

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Use visual supports. Autistic children like knowing what to expect. Many autistic children respond better to pictures than to words, so visual aids can be a helpful way to prepare for new situations.
- Show the child images or videos of new activities, situations, and people to help them feel more comfortable with the change before it happens.
- For example, if you are going on a vacation, it may be helpful to watch a YouTube video of a guide walking you through the new location to put the child at ease.
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Roleplay. By practicing for new situations or unexpected changes ahead of time, you can help your child feel prepared to deal with these events. The child will gain a comforting sense of predictability from stepping through these scenarios in a familiar, non-stressful environment.^{[6]
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- For instance, you can say “What will you say when your teacher asks what you did over the summer, Anne?” Then give your child the opportunity to brainstorm and practice what they might say in this scenario to make the real situation less stressful.
- Roleplaying can be especially helpful when the child is transitioning to a new environment. If the child is familiar with how to navigate the new environment, then they will be much less likely to get lost and panic.
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Read or make up social stories. Social stories depict common social situations such as the first day of school or a visit to the doctor. These stories can help children understand what will happen during a new activity. Illustrated social stories can be an especially big help for an autistic child due to their visual component.^{[7]
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Encourage the child to ask questions. Help your child feel secure by listening to their concerns about the change and answering any questions they might have. Remain positive and reassure the child that the change is a good thing and they will be able to handle it.^{[8]
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- Say, “I know you are worried about going to this new daycare. Is there something you would like to ask me about it or what goes on there?”

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Offering Emotional Support

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Encourage the child to use coping skills. Some stressful situations are unavoidable, but good coping strategies can help the child handle them calmly. Deep breathing exercises, positive self-talk and reassuring affirmations are several good methods of staying calm in anxiety-inducing situations.^{[9]
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- Some ideas for affirmations to use might include “I am letting go of my tension and worry” or “I can handle change, even if it makes me uncomfortable.”
- Distraction can also be a helpful coping mechanism. Encourage your child to read a book, listen to music, or play a game that they enjoy to help keep them occupied.
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Be sure to reward and praise to reinforce positive behavior. For many autistic children, praise and positive attention are the best motivators for establishing new behavior patterns. Tell the child what you like about their behavior, and provide other rewards such as a piece of candy or play time with their favorite toys when they handle a new or unexpected situation well.^{[10]
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- For instance, you might say something like, “Thank you for waiting so patiently, Susie” or “I like the way you whisper in the library, Jack.”
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Validate your child’s emotional experience. If your child feels listened to and emotionally supported, they are more likely to handle new situations calmly. Take time to talk with your child, soothe their fears, and reassure them that they will be able to handle the upcoming activity and maybe even enjoy it.^{[11]
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Expert Source

George Sachs, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist
Expert Interview. 9 October 2020.}
- Speak words of validation like “I can see that this is challenging for you, but you are handling it well.” This can help your child have confidence in their abilities.
4
Give the child time to adjust. For autistic children, a period of gradual adjustment is often easier to manage than an abrupt change. Be patient as your child gets used to their new situation, and provide ongoing emotional support for them. As the child adjusts, you can help them practice flexibility by introducing small changes into their routine and praising them for handling the changes well.^{[12]
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Expert Source

George Sachs, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist
Expert Interview. 9 October 2020.}
- Check in now and then to determine if the strategies you are using are helping. For example, you can consider whether the positive moments are increasing and the negative reactions are decreasing. If so, then the strategies are working. If not, then you may want to reassess the strategy and try something new. You can consult with experts and do some research to develop a new strategy.

Expert Q&A

Question

How does change affect a child with autism?

George Sachs, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist
George Sachs is a Licensed Psychologist and the Owner of Sachs Center based in New York, New York. With over ten years of experience, Dr. Sachs specializes in treating ADD/ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorders in children, teens, and adults. He holds a BS in Psychology from Emory University. Dr. Sachs earned his Doctorate of Psychology (PsyD) from the Illinois School of Professional Psychology, Chicago. He completed his clinical training in Chicago at Cook County Hospital, Mt. Sinai Hospital, and the Child Study Center. Dr. Sachs completed his internship and postdoctoral work at the Children’s Institute in Los Angeles, where he supervised and trained therapists in Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TFCBT). He has been trained as a Gestalt Therapist and certified by the Gestalt Associates Training Program of Los Angeles. Dr. Sachs is the author of The Adult ADD Solution, Helping the Traumatized Child, and Helping Your Husband with Adult ADD. He has appeared on the Huffington Post, NBC Nightly News, CBS, and WPIX discussing his holistic approach to ADD/ADHD treatment.

George Sachs, PsyD

Licensed Psychologist

Expert Answer

It depends on the person and the type of change we're talking about, but children with autism tend to be very obsessive with certain things. They might latch on to a video game for example, so when you try to mix things up or take that routine and point of interest away, it can be challenging.