How Long Should You Wait for a Text Before Giving Up? 11 Tips

Co-authored by Kate Dreyfus and Hunter Rising

Last Updated: May 23, 2022 References

Have you been waiting by your phone for that special someone to text you back? And how much time should you give them before giving up on the convo? If you're not sure how the person is feeling and they aren't responding, we're here to help. Keep reading for everything you need to know about how long to wait for a reply and how to keep your cool until it's time to move on.

1

Give them about a week to reach out.

A week gives the person enough time to thoughtfully respond. The person you’re chatting with could still be interested even if they’ve gone dark for a little while. It may feel like a long time waiting for them to reach out, but keep your hopes up that they’ll text you back. They could realize that they miss talking with you and send a message.^{[1]
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- Even though it’s a little old-fashioned, some people will wait 3 days after a date to text you back to make you miss them more.
- Waiting any longer than a week could be a sign they’re not interested, and it might be best to let the conversation die out.

2

Assume they have good intentions.

The person may have truly been busy or missed your text. Rather than jumping to conclusions, give your texting partner the benefit of the doubt if they haven’t responded yet. You can’t be sure what came up in their life or if they’ve been caught up with something really important, so stay optimistic that they aren’t ignoring your messages.^{[2]
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Trustworthy Source
Greater Good Magazine
Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living
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- Even if you’re nervous you’re being ignored, try to think of positive thoughts, like the person smiling when they read your messages.

3

Look at their past response times.

The person you’re chatting with may not like to communicate over text. Scroll back through your messages and see how frequently the person texted you. If there was always a lot of time in between your messages and their responses, then the amount of time you’ve waited might be normal.^{[3]
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- If they normally messaged back and forth without a break, then it could be a sign that something came up or that they’re losing interest.

4

Check the quality of their messages.

It’s a good sign if the person puts effort into their past messages. Read through your text messages again and check how the person worded their messages. Even if they don’t send a lot of texts, long and thoughtful messages that keep the conversation going mean that they like talking to you. They may have just gotten distracted and missed your last message.^{[4]
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- If they sent short messages or didn’t feel very involved in the convo, then it’s a sign they aren’t really invested.

5

See if your last text needed a reply.

If your last text didn’t keep the convo going, the person may leave it on read. Your texting partner might not feel the need to reply to texts that confirm information or don’t give them a lot to build off of. Instead of worrying about getting a text back from them, think about them smiling when they see your text. Some texts that aren’t the best for getting replies are:^{[5]
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- “Hey.”
- “That’s cool!”
- “Okay see you then!”

6

Concentrate on yourself and other relationships.

You’ll feel less stressed out since you aren’t checking your phone. Take some time to do an activity without your phone, like going for a walk, reading, or any other hobby you enjoy. Reach out to your friends and family so you can chat and spend time with them and take your mind off the person not messaging you back.^{[6]
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American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists
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7

Send one more message to grab their attention.

Start a new conversation in case the person missed your message. If you’ve already waited a few days or a week, you’ve put in enough time between now and the last message. Go into a new topic rather than bringing up your last message. Just don’t bring up that they didn’t respond since it sounds passive-aggressive.^{[7]
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- “Hey there! Hope you’re doing well! What was an exciting thing that happened today?”
- “OMG I just had the craziest day at work. Hopefully it hasn’t been too busy for you!”
- “Hi 😊 I finally saw The Batman. You were right, it was so good!! I have to hear your thoughts.”
- Avoid sending a wall of texts since it could be overwhelming for the person to read and catch up.^{[8]
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8

Try giving them a call.

You can get a better idea of how the person feels from their voice. If you still haven’t gotten a response, call them and ask how they’re doing. Let them explain what they’ve been up to and how they’re feeling without getting upset that they haven’t texted you. If they sound sincere and apologetic, then it’s a good sign that they still care and want to stay connected.^{[9]
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- If the person has short replies or doesn’t sound excited to talk to you on the phone, it could mean that they’re not invested in your relationship.

9

Reassess your connection with the person.

You may realize you don’t have as strong of feelings for them anymore. As you’re waiting for their message, think about how the person has made you feel while you were chatting. Even if you thought they were attractive, think about how you connected with them on a deeper level and if they have the same values as you.^{[10]
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- If you recognize that you’re pretty different and didn’t have a strong bond, then it’ll feel easier to move on.

10

Move on if you still haven’t heard from them.

You deserve someone who’s excited to chat with you. There are probably a ton of other people that want to hear from you and care about their connection with you. If the person you’re texting doesn’t give you enough respect to communicate their feelings with you, then they’re not going to be worth your time in the long run.^{[11]
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- Remember—every person you have a special connection with can be used as an opportunity for increasing your awareness, growth, and empowerment. They can also be used to review any areas where you may need to adjust your approach to romantic relationships.
- Try reconnecting with the end goal you have for your love life. Let that initiate your next move in your dating experience and let it drive you forward.