How to Ask a Girl to a Party over Text

Co-authored by Eddy Baller and Eric McClure

Last Updated: October 13, 2021 References

Parties are the perfect place to get closer to that gal you’re crushing on—they’re fun, low-stakes, and there’s usually enough going on that there will never be a lag in the conversation. If you’re going to invite her, you may be trying to figure out how to do it to increase the odds that she says yes. The good news is that you’ve got a ton of choices, and you usually don’t need to overthink this one. People enjoy parties and if she likes hanging out with you, she’ll find a reason to tag along. You’ve got this!

1

Try a casual approach for a house party.

Don’t overthink this one and just play it cool. Parties are cool. You’re cool. Coolness speaks for itself. If you push too hard or you treat it like a big deal, she might not take you up on your offer.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.} Be super casual about it, but let her know you want her to come with you. You can even ask her to meet you there for a super laid-back option!^{[2]
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Research source} You might say:
- “Hey, James is throwing a party at his lake house next week. You want to come with me?”
- “Are you going to that thing on Saturday at Tonya’s place? If you didn’t have a ride, I’d love to take you!”
- “If you aren’t busy next weekend my cousin is throwing a little shindig. You busy? It should be a good time.”
- “I’m heading over to my buddy’s place for a party tonight; do you want to come with me? I’d love to hang out with you tonight.”

2

Just send the details for an open invitation.

For the ultra-laid back option, just send the info with a note. The details of the party will speak for themselves, and if she’s into you, she’ll try to make it!^{[3]
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Expert Source

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.} This doesn’t need to be super complex—just mention the address, the overall vibe, and where the party is located. Include a note that you’d love it for her to come.^{[4]
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Research source} You might try:
- “Party at Fernando’s tonight. 7 pm. I should be there at 8 if you want to slide!”
- “Rager tonight at Nicole’s place. Should be starting around 10. The whole crew will be there—you should come hang.”
- “Jackson is having some folks over tonight around 8 pm at 5051 Norfolk Drive. Last house on the left. Super laid back thing, you should come!”

3

Tell her she can bring friends as an incentive.

She may hesitate to come if she can’t bring her pals along. This is especially important if it’s a larger party where she may not know a lot of people. It can be intimidating to show up to a big event alone, and bringing friends is often a great way to mitigate that. She’ll be more likely to show up if it’s a wide open invitation.^{[5]
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Research source} You might try:
- “My friend is having a party this weekend. If you’re free, the address is 42 S. Bay Ridge over in Springfield. Feel free to bring friends—hope to see you there!”
- “If you and your friends aren’t up to anything, there’s a cool little bonfire thing going on at Melissa’s tonight.”
- “I know you’re with Jamie and Frankie tonight, but the three of you should come over to Caleb’s tonight. He’s having a bunch of people over.”

4

Be a little eloquent if it’s a fancy party.

A formal party deserves a slightly fancier invitation. If you’re going to a dinner party (or something even fancier), invite them by being a little more articulate. Include some precursory details and let them know that you’d love it if they join you. You don’t need to send an official invite or anything, but make it clear that you’re asking them to join you.^{[6]
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Research source} You could say:
- “My uncle is getting married in April at the Grand Ballroom downtown. I’ve been told that I to bring a date, so I’m wondering if you’re interested in joining me?”
- “My friend Alex is throwing a cocktail party on March 9th at 8:00. Nothing super formal, but we would get to break out the fancy outfits if you care to come with!”

5

Be clear about intentions if she’s a +1.

If you’re inviting her to a formal event as guest, make it clear if it’s a date. It’s totally okay to bring a girl as your +1 to an event as a friend, but make it super clear if you’re inviting her as a date.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.} Nothing is worse than showing up to a wedding or a prom unclear about whether you’re on a date or not, so make it obvious why you’re inviting her.^{[8]
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Research source}
- “I’ve been invited to a little soiree next month on the 12th. If you feel like dressing up and joining me as my +1, I’d love for you to join me as my date!”
- “My cousin is getting married in April. I think it’ll be a fun time if you want to come hang with a friend and boogie for the night over free drinks.”

6

Focus on a fun selling point to encourage her.

If she needs an added incentive, play up something she’ll love. If she’s a huge music fan, mention all of the dancing there will be. If she’s a foodie, tell her that there’s going to be some great grub there. Don’t lie or anything, but just emphasize something she’ll enjoy. Not only will she be more likely to come to the party with you, but she’ll take note of the fact that you know what she’s into!^{[9]
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Research source} You could try:
- “What’s got two thumbs and is in charge of the music for Alex’s party next week? This guy! I’ve got you covered on the Ginuwine and Usher if you’re coming!”
- “Did you know Daniel has a pool at his place? I’m totally bringing some swimming trunks. You coming? I know you love swimming.”
- “You remember my cousin you really liked meeting last year? She’s in town this weekend and she’s coming to Georgia’s party! You want to go with us?”

7

Let a picture do the talking.

If you’re already at the party and she’s still on the fence, send a photo. If she never committed to coming to the party but you still feel like there’s a shot, snap a selfie! Take a photo with some mutual friends to show her what she’s missing out on, or snap a pic with the crowd in the background so she sees it’s a full house.^{[10]
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Research source} Alongside the photo, send a flirty note like:
- “Wish you were here!”
- “See what you’re missing out on? You should come hang.”
- “We could be taking a shot right now, but you’re playing!”

8

Ask her to rescue you from a boring party.

If the party is a little meh, use it as an excuse to hit her up! Even if you are having fun, send her a text inviting her to come save you from dullsville. If she likes you at all, she’ll jump at the chance to come see you. If you’re trying to woo her and it’s still unclear where the two of you stand, this may be a good excuse for her to come hang out in a low-pressure setting.^{[11]
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Research source} You could send her:
- “So, Andy’s place is a little too low-key for my liking. Why don’t you come through and liven things up with me?”
- “There’s a 6-pack with you name on it if you’re willing to swing by and save me from this boring conversation with my uncle. Please come!”
- “I absolutely cannot find some peace and quiet at this party. You want to come rescue me?”

9

Send a last ditch invite once the party gets moving.

If she is still on the fence, let her know what she’s missing. If she’s not there and there’s some daylight left on your Saturday night, send her an impromptu invite. Let her know she’d have an absolute, total blast if only she were to ditch whatever she’s doing and come hang out with you! Even if she doesn’t come out for the party, she’ll know you’re fun and always up for a good time in the future.^{[12]
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Research source} You might say:
- “Yo, you’ve got to get over here. Donelle is breakdancing, it’s absolutely nuts!”
- “You’re not going to believe this, but we already emptied the first keg. There’s got to be 100 people here. You should come hang!”
- “This banquet hall is so beautiful and everyone is so dressed up. There’s still 4-5 hours of partying left—you should come.”

10

Send her a personal follow-up if it’s your party.

If you sent invites to a bunch of people, follow up with her. You can do this the night you send the invites out, or wait a day or two to see if she RSVPs without you saying anything. Send her a personalized text message letting her know you’d love to see her there. This will give her that extra nudge in the right direction, and she’ll appreciate the personal touch.^{[13]
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Research source} Try something like:
- “Hey, I sent invites out for my party next month. I’d really love it if you came!”
- “Did you get my e-vite? I’d be honored if you came to the party next month!”
- “Are you coming to my shindig next week? I’m getting a case of that craft brew you love!”