How to Know if She Wants to Be More Than Friends

Co-authored by John Keegan

Last Updated: March 6, 2023

There are probably hundreds of questions going through your head right now. "Does she like me?" "Does she already have a boyfriend?" "Am I imagining those furtive glances?" Tough stuff -- it can drive you crazy! Instead of wondering, you can find out for sure if she wants to be more than just friends by observing her reactions and behavior.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Looking at Her Reactions

1
Pay attention to eye contact.^{[1]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Is she looking you in the eyes longer than normal or glancing at you when you're not looking? This is usually an indication that someone is attracted to you.
- See if she makes excuses to talk to you, or tries to get closer to you. In other words, tries to be with you. This most likely means that she's interested^{[2]
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  Research source}
2
Take note of physical contact.^{[3]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} This can range from subtle gestures like letting an arm rest against you to more obvious ones like an extended hug. Either way, consistent physical contact isn't something you typically do with your platonic friends. It's probably a good sign.

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3
Jealous tendencies. Does she seem to get upset when you're around other girls or try to jump into every conversation you have with one? She's probably jealous of the attention that they're getting from you. This is a clear indicator she wants to be more than friends.
- See if she gets upset, or tenses up when you talk about other girls. Because that makes her nervous that you might have interest in other girls and not her.

Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Look At Her Behavior

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Pay attention to general behavior. Is she acting differently around you lately or asking for your input on major life decisions? Some people might read this as a sign of a strengthening friendship, but it could also be a sign that she's ready to take things to the next level.^{[4]
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Research source}
- If she goes out of her way to be around you, that could be a sign that she's into you.^{[5]
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  Expert Source
  
  Candice Mostisser
  Relationship Coach
  Expert Interview. 24 January 2020.}
- Does she seem happy whenever you talk to her? That could be another sign that she likes you.^{[6]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Candice Mostisser
  Relationship Coach
  Expert Interview. 24 January 2020.}
2
Her availability. Does she consistently return your phone calls and text messages? Does she show up at important events that you ask her to attend? Someone who consistently makes times for you could be interested in being more than just friends.^{[7]
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Research source}
3
Get input from friends. Ask your friends what they think about her attitude towards you. If the general consensus is that she likes you, you can feel comfortable about trying to move forward. If they all think she just sees you as a friend, you may want to back off from making any strong advances.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can you take things to the next level?

Candice Mostisser
Dating Coach
Candice Mostisser is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingman/wingwoman services, 1-on-1 coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. She specializes in coaching others on best practices and strategies to succeed on first dates and in the online dating world.

Candice Mostisser

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

If you like her and you want to know if she likes you too, try being honest and letting her know how you feel. If she's not interested, at least you'll know so you can move on and find someone else!

Warnings

Some girls just play with guys emotions to get something out of them. The same is true of some guys seeking girls. Make sure it is you she is interested in, not your money, body, or friends

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Never ask a girl out just to make your ex jealous, this will make know that your a big time jerk, but she will let it go but won't forget it

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