How to Learn to Laugh at Your Mistakes

Last Updated: January 6, 2023 References

Everyone makes mistakes from time to time. Depending on your mood and the circumstances you find yourself in, your reaction may range from anger to embarrassment. However, learning how to laugh at yourself can help take the dread out of minor mistakes and help you shift your focus towards a more positive and light-hearted worldview. Humor and resilience go hand in hand, so if you can learn from your past, laugh at your mistakes, and take things as they come, you’ll be much happier for it!

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Laughing at Your Mistakes

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Start by laughing at something from the past. If the embarrassment and frustration of a recent mistake are too fresh on your mind, you might find it easier to laugh about a mistake you made in the past. Having some time that's passed between that event and your present state of mind could ease some of the tension you feel about making mistakes.^{[1]
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- Think about a time in the past when you said or did something embarrassing.
- Step outside yourself for a moment and imagine how silly it might have looked or sounded to an outside observer.
- If you've ever laughed at someone else for making a similar mistake, you should be able to see the humor in your own mistake.
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Recognize your own limitations. Many people strive for absolute perfection in all aspects of life. However, perfection is impossible. Expecting yourself to be perfect will only set you up for disappointment and frustrations. That doesn't mean you're not skilled or capable; it just means that you're human.
- Remind yourself that it's okay to make mistakes. Everyone does from time to time.
- Accept that you're just as prone to mistakes as everyone else. It's what makes you human, and there's nothing wrong with that.^{[2]
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Try to laugh at your present mistake. This may not come easy at first, but with practice you'll be able to see your situation as less serious than it really is. Once you're able to stop expecting perfection, you should be able to step outside your own fears and anxieties to see the humor in your mistake.
- Consider the alternative to laughter. What good will getting angry or upset really do?
- If you're able to correct your mistake, then try to do so. If not, try to realize that it's just a mistake and that your best option is to laugh it off.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Learning to Take Life Less Seriously

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Forgive yourself and let go of expectations. If you find yourself in a stressful or upsetting situation, you may be wondering how you can work it out to achieve perfect results. However, it may be worth stepping back and asking yourself how often in life you've actually been able to get perfect results out of any situation. If you're honest with yourself, you should quickly realize that your expectations are often higher than what is really possible in a given situation.^{[3]
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- You've probably committed many mistakes throughout the course of your life. The reason you made it through okay was because you adjusted your expectations and accepted the outcome eventually.
- Did dwelling on your mistakes help the situation at all, or cause you more stress/frustration?
- Eventually you stopped stressing about a mistake you made. All that happened was that you learned to forgive yourself and stop dwelling on what you "should" have said or done.
- Why prolong the forgiveness process? Instead of torturing yourself for days, weeks, or months, just let go of what "should" have happened and forgive yourself for making an honest mistake.
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Try to be more lighthearted about life. Life can be very serious at times, and that seriousness may even be devastating. There is and will always be suffering in life, both for you and for others. While suffering is unpleasant, it's important to remember that there are many good times, too, which typically outweigh the bad times.^{[4]
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- If you let every instance of suffering or sadness in the world get to you, you would be an emotional mess all the time. Instead of taking on suffering, try to actively embrace the good things in life.
- Think about all the things you have to be grateful for in your own life. Try to also consider how many happy, fun memories you have, and focus on those good thoughts instead of the self-doubting or self-punishing thoughts.
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Find more positivity in your own life. It can be easy to take life too seriously if you don't see the positive in a given situation. Doing so may not always be easy, which is why it's important to try to cultivate positivity in other areas of your life. Over time, you'll learn to appreciate the little things in life that make you happy, which may help you stop dwelling on the bad things that upset you.^{[5]
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- Practice gratitude by showing sincere appreciation whenever someone helps you out, even in small ways.
- Focus on things that amuse you. Listen to stand-up comedy, read new and funny jokes, watch funny movies/TV shows, and do fun things that make you happy.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Using Humor In Unpleasant Situations

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Laugh at yourself to avoid being laughed at. Many people feel embarrassed when they make a mistake or do something foolish in front of others. That embarrassment can be painful, but it won't undo the fact that other people witnessed the mistake. In situations like this, laughing at your own mistakes can actually take away the power of others to laugh at you.
- If you make a mistake and immediately joke about it, it won't sting when other people laugh. They'll be laughing at your joke instead of at your mistake.
- Laughing at yourself shifts the dynamic of any situation. When you decide to laugh/joke about your mistake, you hold all the situational power.
- Try saying something like, "Wow, I haven't even had anything to drink!" if you trip or lose your balance. If you're stumbling over your words during a presentation, laugh it off by saying, "Guess I could have used that second cup of coffee this morning."
- Your joke doesn't have to be all that clever, as long as you deliver it quickly and with a mild tone of self-deprecation.
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Use humor to defuse tense situations. Humor has the potential to resolve minor conflicts between two people. Finding ways to laugh during a tense moment can help put everyone involved a little more at ease, and once that happens the anger and tension between two people tends to fade quickly.^{[6]
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- If two people are in a conflict, do not make a joke about one of them. Similarly, if you're in a conflict with someone else, don't make a joke about that person.
- Try making fun of yourself, no matter how you're related to the present conflict. This can help put everyone at ease and take focus away from the mounting tension.
- If two colleagues are arguing at work about whose project turned out better, for example, you might defuse the situation by making fun of your own abilities.
- Say something like, "Well both of your projects are way better than mine would be. You'd think I was born with two left hands on this assignment."
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Find ways of using humor to cope with stress. Studies suggest that using humor during a stressful situation can help reframe your mindset regarding that situation. When you're able to laugh, your mind stops seeing the stressor as a threat and starts seeing it as more of a challenge to be overcome.^{[7]
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- Instead of letting yourself feel overwhelmed by everything going on in your life, try seeing the situation as something that can be joked about.
- Try imagining your stressful situation as the plot to a comedy show that you're writing. You've been given the basic materials of the situation, and now it's your job to find something funny in all of it.
- As you begin to see the humor in your situation, you should be able to break out of the mindset that your situation is dangerous or damaging. Instead, you'll realize that you can manage this stress and get through the situation, even if it takes some work.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do I learn to think for myself?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

You might consider starting a journal. Here you can learn to explore your feelings, ideas, beliefs, and preferences. It is a safe place to explore everything and anything that crosses your mind.
Question

How do I laugh in life?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

You always have a choice to take something seriously or with some levity. Learning to laugh instead of always jumping into being upset can keep you healthier and more relaxed.
Question

Is it good to laugh at yourself?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

It can be liberating for everyone to periodically laugh at themselves. It also helps protect you against too much self-analysis.