10+ Ways to Lie Convincingly over Text

Co-authored by John Keegan and Hunter Rising

Last Updated: October 20, 2022 References

Every now and then, it may be easier to tell a small lie than the truth. Lying can be a little difficult if you don’t do it often, but sometimes it’s better if you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings or make them feel bad. Luckily, it’s a bit easier texting a lie since you’re not saying it to the person’s face and you can structure your message so the person doesn’t question what you’re saying. Keep reading for some helpful tips for writing your text and some things you should try to help you sound more believable.

1

Use vague descriptions.

Giving too many details could seem like you’re making up a story. A lot of people try to fill in all the missing details when they tell a lie, but that makes it more obvious that you’re trying to sound more believable. Rather than trying to explain everything or make detailed excuses, say something brief that the person won’t question as much. Only send the bare minimum to get your point across so you don’t spend too much time dwelling on the topic.^{[1]
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- For example, saying something like, “I’m running late. I’d normally take the 101 to your place, but traffic was so bad that I decided to take the 10,” sounds unnatural because of all the details. You might instead say, “Hey, I’m walking to your place so I’ll be a few minutes late.”
- On the flip side, try not to be too vague since it could sound like you’re hiding something. For example, saying something like, “I was busy,” or, “I got caught up,” might send up some red flags.

2

Omit some details from the truth.

Say something partially true so you don’t have to make up a new story. Just because you’re lying doesn’t mean you need to make up an entire story. Briefly mention something that actually happened, but leave out the details that you don’t want the other person to know. Say just enough that the person won’t question what’s really going on.^{[2]
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- For example, if you’re staying late at work and just chatting with coworkers, you might say, “Hey, I’m still at work, so I won’t be home for a little while.”
- As another example, if you’re hanging out with a group of people and your ex is there, you may send a text to your partner that just says, “I’m just hanging out with some friends.”

3

Make a slight exaggeration to the truth.

Exaggerating a little could make your story more believable. Rather than saying exactly what’s going on, look for places where you can stretch the truth a little bit. Put a little more emphasis on the part of your lie that you think the person wouldn’t question. That way, you’re still saying something truthful, but you’re playing it up a little bit.^{[3]
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- For example, you might say something like, “There’s some bad traffic so I’m running a little late,” even if you haven’t even left yet.
- As another example, if you don’t want to go out with friends one night because you’re a little tired, you might send, “Sorry, I’m just SO exhausted I feel like I’m going to pass out.”

4

Use personal pronouns.

Using “I” and “we” prevents you from sounding too distant. Many people feel bad about lying, so they try to distance themselves from what they’re saying by speaking in the third person. If you want someone to believe you, include the words “I” or “we” in your sentence so what you’re saying sounds more personal.^{[4]
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- For example, rather than saying, “Last night was really fun,” you could say something like, “I had so much fun last night.”
- As another example, you might send, “I’m sorry I forgot about our plans” instead of saying, “It got so busy and time just flew by.”

5

Stick to one verb tense.

Shifting between past and present tense is a red flag that you’re lying. Someone may notice you “tense hopping” when you’re making up a lie as you go. If you’re lying about something that happened in the past, stick to the past tense. If you lie about something that’s going on right now, only use the present tense throughout your message.^{[5]
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- For example, you might say something like, “I’m late because I met up with friends and we lost track of time,” instead of saying “After getting together with my friends, we lost track of time and it made me run late.”
- As another example, “I can’t come in today because I felt sick,” could sound like a lie. You should instead try, “I’m feeling sick right now, so I can’t come into work.”

6

Use firm language.

Your message reads more believable if you have concrete phrasing. If you use words like, “pretty sure,” “possibly,” or “maybe” in your text, it could also make you feel like you’re dodging the subject. Try to cut those words out of your message so it doesn’t sound wishy-washy when the other person reads it.^{[6]
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- For example, you shouldn’t say, “I’m pretty sure I was out with friends that night.” Instead, just say, “I went out to see some friends that night.”

7

Aim to sound natural instead of over-edited.

Lies become more obvious when you use language you normally wouldn’t. Read through your past texts so you can get an idea of how you naturally sound in a conversation. When you’re writing a lie, try to use the same tone and language as your other truthful messages. Try not to get too hung up on if the lie sounds believable or if you’ve picked the right words since editing could make you sound unnatural.^{[7]
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- For example, rather than saying, “I’m so sorry I missed your birthday! I just had so much going on and it completely slipped my mind,” you might say something like, “OMG, I’m so sorry I forgot your B-Day. I’ve been so busy, but I hope you had a great day!”
- If the other person can see when you’re typing, it might be a red flag if they see you starting and stopping while you edit your message. Think about what you want to say beforehand so you can type it out all in one go.

8

Prepare answers for follow-up questions.

You’re bound to get asked for more details, so think of a few responses. Even if you tell a good lie, you might get flustered if someone asks you for more details. Try to brainstorm some potential questions that the person might ask after you send your text. If they ask you a question, answer them right away so it doesn’t seem like you’re struggling to come up with an answer.^{[8]
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- For example, if you lie about being late, the person might ask why you’re delayed or when you think you’ll arrive.
- As another example, if you lied about being swamped at work, come up with a few answers for what was keeping you so busy.

9

Respond as soon as you can.

Taking too much time could seem like you’re thinking of an excuse. When you leave a message on read, it could signal to the other person that you’re avoiding the topic or trying to think of something believable. If the person asks you something or tries to follow-up after lying, send a response right when you see it.^{[9]
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- Avoid leaving the message and saying something like, “Hey sorry, I was busy…” hours later since it’s a really common lie and you could easily get caught.

10

Stay away from phrases like “to be honest.”

These expressions make you sound nervous about what you’re saying. Even though you might think it sounds more truthful, it might make the other person think you’re trying to be too convincing. Phrases like, “to be honest,” “as far as I remember,” “there’s nothing to worry about,” or “I swear” can all make you seem guilty, so just avoid putting them in your message in the first place.^{[10]
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11

Don’t repeat yourself.

Getting repetitive comes across like you’re trying to convince the person. While repeating your lie again may drive the point home, it’s a tell-tale sign that you’re trying to convince the other person you’re truthful. Just tell your lie once and let the person respond. Avoid bringing up the subject again unless the other person wants to talk about it.^{[11]
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- For example, saying something like, “Ugh the bus is running late,” and then saying a few minutes later, “I’m so sorry, the bus usually isn’t this late,” doesn’t sound as truthful as only mentioning it once.

12

Avoid quickly changing the subject.

Switching to another topic makes it seem like you’re hiding something. After you tell a lie, let the other person guide the conversation rather than bringing up something unrelated. If the person stays on the topic, keep the conversation going so they don’t question if you’re telling the truth. If the person doesn’t respond, just leave the conversation hanging or wait for a little while before mentioning another topic.^{[12]
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Warnings

If you get caught in a lie, admit it and apologize right away. Explain your reasons so you don’t dig yourself into a deeper hole.^{[14]
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Lying a lot could break any trust you have with the people you’re talking to. If you continue to lie, they might not think you’re trustworthy or reliable.

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