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This article was co-authored by Maria Avgitidis. Maria Avgitidis is the CEO & Matchmaker of Agape Match, a matchmaking service based out of New York City. For over a decade, she has successfully combined four generations of family matchmaking tradition with modern relationship psychology and search techniques to ensure her professional clientele are introduced to their ultimate match. Maria and Agape Match have been featured in The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice, and Thrillist.
There are 13 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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First impressions have a significant effect on the future of a relationship.[1] In a first impression, the person you are meeting is trying to answer for themselves two basic about you: “are your intentions good?” and “are you competent?”[2] Some people seem to have a natural charisma that leaves no doubt about these questions. For the rest of us, there are some simple steps to take that improve the chances of making a mark in any first social or business meeting.
Things You Should Know
- Prepare talking points beforehand, set clear goals for the conversation, identify any stakes, and develop a personal elevator pitch.
- Dress your best and try to schedule the meeting if you can; when you get there, smile and offer an appropriate greeting.
- Practice active listening and pay attention to their interest level, adjusting your approach to keep them engaged, and leave them wanting more.
Steps
Part 1
Part 1 of 2:
Preparing Ahead of Time
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1Prepare questions and talking points. Before you go into your first meeting with someone, think about what you want to learn from them and what you want them to learn about you. This will help you to get clearer about your own thoughts and feelings, and cut down on the possibility of a dull moment in the conversation.[3]
- For a job interview, research the company ahead of time. If your questions are about specific aspects of the business, it will show you are a serious candidate who has really considered what it would be like to work for them.
- If you are meeting someone whose work you admire, take the time to find out more about them so you can ask relevant questions and dig deeper than the average fan.
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2Set an intention. Have a clear answer to the question, "what do I want from this meeting?" When you have your own goals in a meeting, you are more likely to be perceived as someone who is mature and competent. It can also help to "ground" you in situations where you may be nervous.[4]
- Your intention should be something within your control. If you are applying for a job, the intention "I want to get this job" doesn't give you a specific course of action. Instead, try setting an intention like, "I want to emphasize these 3 qualifications that I think make me the best candidate." This is something that it is within your power to do, and will be more helpful as a guide for you during the meeting.
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3Develop your personal elevator pitch. An elevator pitch is a short summary of who you are and what you do -- and it is not just for elevators! It should be no more than three or four sentences, and it should be able to roll off your tongue with ease.[5]
- Practice in front of a mirror or with friends until the pitch feels natural and not rehearsed.
- Be ready to adjust your pitch for different people and situations.
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4Look your best. How you look really matters when meeting people.[6] You'll want to choose your outfit based on the context of the meeting, so how you dress for a job interview will be different for how you dress for a punk show.
- Dress to either stand out or blend in. Great first impressions can be made both ways, and your answer to this question will depend on what your intentions are and your own comfort level.[7] Either way, pay attention to the details of your outfit.[8]
- How you look isn't just your clothes: it’s also your car or house. Give them a good cleaning if there's a chance the person you want to impress will see them.
- Pay attention to your mood. You could be dressed to the nines, but if you are having a terrible day, it will probably show. If it’s possible, avoid having to make first impressions when you are really feeling low.[9]
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5Identify the stakes of the meeting. In a job interview or an encounter with someone you may never meet again, the first impression might be your only shot at connecting with the person you are meeting. In other cases, like meeting your co-workers on the first day of a new job or moving to a new town, you may want to simply be friendly and let your capabilities demonstrate themselves in the coming days or weeks.
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6Try to schedule the the time and place of the meeting. If you have the ability to do so, either suggest a place and time that works best for you, or come to an agreement with the person you are meeting about what works best for you both. Keep in mind that the environment of your first meeting can have a big effect on our mood and stress levels.
- If you are preparing for a date, pick a place where you think both you and the person you and your date will feel comfortable.
- Pick a time of day that allows you time to prepare before hand and relax a bit afterward, so that you aren't rushing from one thing to the next.
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Part 2
Part 2 of 2:
Being Engaging During Your First Impression
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1Greet people appropriately for the context. In many business situations, a handshake is important, but there are different customs for greeting in different cultures. If you're unsure about how formally you should greet someone, err on the side of formality. Its better to appear overly polite and professional than to assume a higher comfort level than the other person is ready to allow.
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3Communicate with body language. Whether you're aware of it or not, your body language is communicates tells things about us to others. You want to appear confident, comfortable in your own skin, and like someone will at ease around. [12] Avoid crossing your arms or turning away from the person.[13]
- Make appropriate eye contact.
- Be aware of any nervous habits you have and work on breaking them.
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4Practice active listening. Active listening is a skill for really engaging with what others are saying, allowing them to feel like their thoughts are heard, understood, and respected. If you are planning what you are going to say next while another is talking, you probably aren't listening very closely. Focus on what they are saying and ask questions that will allow them to elaborate on their thoughts.
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5Keep them interested. When you are speaking, pay attention to their interest level and be ready to adjust your approach to keep them engaged.
- If they are distracted by something that seems interesting, see what has grabbed their attention and remark on it. Don’t try to force them back to you. Move with the flow and share whatever they are interested in together.
- If there is nothing obvious distracting them, and they just seem to be elsewhere, this might be a sign you are talking too much. Try asking them a question.[14]
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6Leave them wanting more. If you have a great connection with someone during a first encounter, don’t be afraid to say “goodbye for now.” If you really connect, ask to exchange contact info and send a follow up text or email about how nice it was to meet them.[15]
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionDoes my appearance affect someone's first impression of me?
Maria AvgitidisMaria Avgitidis is the CEO & Matchmaker of Agape Match, a matchmaking service based out of New York City. For over a decade, she has successfully combined four generations of family matchmaking tradition with modern relationship psychology and search techniques to ensure her professional clientele are introduced to their ultimate match. Maria and Agape Match have been featured in The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice, and Thrillist.
Matchmaker & Dating ExpertIt can, so put effort into your outfit. Wear things that you feel comfortable and confident in.
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QuestionI'm 14, what advice do you have to help me make friends at a party?
Community AnswerJust walk up to people introduce yourself and don't sit in a corner. Talk about things you have in common, don't try to be too witty or the life of the party unless that comes naturally to you. It helps to have a friend you know, to break the ice, but it's not essential. The sooner you learn to talk to new people in party situations, the easier it will be for you in the future. -
QuestionHow can I fit in and not be too popular in a big new school?
Community AnswerFind a small group of people with whom you get along well and share common interests with and stick with them. You should also try to interact with others in the school, but establishing a solid group of friends quickly is important.
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References
- ↑ http://www.spsp.org/news-center/press-releases/even-fact-will-not-change-first-impressions
- ↑ https://www.betterup.com/blog/how-to-make-a-good-first-impression
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2016/09/how-to-make-a-great-first-impression
- ↑ https://www.youngminds.org.uk/young-person/blog/the-grounding-technique-that-helps-me-when-i-m-anxious/
- ↑ http://www.apa.org/science/about/psa/2014/06/elevator-pitch.aspx
- ↑ http://www.science20.com/news_articles/appearance_says_lot_when_making_first_impressions
- ↑ Maria Avgitidis. Matchmaker & Dating Expert. Expert Interview. 20 December 2019.
- ↑ http://www.emeraldinsight.com/doi/abs/10.1108/13612021311305128
- ↑ https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0022103110002568
- ↑ http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11031-016-9558-6?wt_mc=alerts.TOCjournals
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-science-willpower/201208/smile-your-way-out-stress
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/spycatcher/201108/body-language-basics
- ↑ Maria Avgitidis. Matchmaker & Dating Expert. Expert Interview. 20 December 2019.
- ↑ Maria Avgitidis. Matchmaker & Dating Expert. Expert Interview. 20 December 2019.
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2013/10/the-power-of-restraint-always-leave-them-wanting-more
About This Article
Maria Avgitidis
Matchmaker & Dating Expert
This article was co-authored by Maria Avgitidis. Maria Avgitidis is the CEO & Matchmaker of Agape Match, a matchmaking service based out of New York City. For over a decade, she has successfully combined four generations of family matchmaking tradition with modern relationship psychology and search techniques to ensure her professional clientele are introduced to their ultimate match. Maria and Agape Match have been featured in The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice, and Thrillist. This article has been viewed 782,907 times.
Co-authors: 84
Updated: February 17, 2023
Views: 782,907
Categories: Greeting People
Article SummaryX
To make a good first impression, make sure to look your best by dressing appropriately for the occasion, which will help you feel confident and relaxed. When you meet someone, greet them in a way that fits the situation, like a handshake for business meetings, and be sure to make eye contact and smile. Then, show the person you’re meeting that you are engaged in your conversation by actively listening to what they are saying, and asking them questions that will allow them to elaborate on their thoughts. For more ways to make a good first impression, like how to communicate with body language, read on!
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