How to Make an Easy First Move on a Girl at a Movie

Last Updated: February 3, 2023

Do you like a girl but don't want to overwhelm her by jumping straight to kissing? Do you want to touch her but aren't sure how to do go about asking for that? Here's some steps you can take to see if she's interested in touching you or being touched by you. The steps are easy and escalate in a steady and comfortable way . Most of this theoretical example is happening in a movie theatre, engaging in 'first moves' requires a lot of communication for all parties to feel comfortable so make sure it's a movie that you don't mind talking over on occasion.

Steps

1
Start simple. Ask if she's ok with being a bit closer. Do not pretend to accidentally touch her, it creeps most woman out and it' obvious - they tell when you're doing it. For example; Instead of just resting your knee against hers, ask if it's ok that in this cramped environment that your knees touch because it feels more comfortable to relax. Letting her know that you want to respect her boundaries early can make a lot of girls feel more comfortable exploring touch with someone
2
Talk to her about the movie. If it's a quiet environment and you'd like to whisper in her ear, ask if that's ok. Ears are very sensitive and having someone just lean in close suddenly and whisper can sometimes be startling and feel intrusive. Ask before doing it and check in to make sure it's comfortable for her.

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3
Hold hands with her, if she's into that. Offering your hand and asking "would you like to hold hands?" is pretty easy. Don't just reach over and grab her hand without asking. If she seems to want to let go, let go. If she want's to keep holding on (and you want to as well) keep holding on. If you want to test the waters on stroking fingers and palms, be gentle and try reflecting how much she's doing that with your hand. Asking her if something feels good when a dynamic changes is always a good thing to do - unless she says she is comfortable..
4
Put your arm around her. Ask if she'd like to snuggle up or if you can put your arm around her. If she responds positively, great, get cozy together. It's often easier to do this with the armrest up, ask if lifting the armrest feels good to her, don't just remove the armrest sneakily while she's in the bathroom, she'll notice and if she didn't want that boundary removed might feel uncomfortable about navigating asking to put it back down. If you're in a home environment, sharing a blanket can be nice.
5
If you find her hair attractive, compliment her on it and/or ask her if you can play with it.
6
If she responds well to all of these, great! Y'all have started to build a lovely touch relationship and a frame work for communication about how you both like to be touched and want to touch each other. If she seems comfortable, It might be an appropriate time to ask if she wants to kiss, use your best judgement. Don't just lean in to her face, make sure it's what she wants. Pushing her hair behind her ear and looking into her eyes is a great way to signal that you want to kiss, and a good moment to ask for it. Using your words is the best way to be sure that kisses is what you both want.kiss!

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you make a girl make the first move on you?

Michele Fields
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Michele Fields is a Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and the Owner of Bon Jour Matchmaking based in Denver, Colorado. With over thirty years of experience, she specializes in helping others meet people and navigate dating and relationships. Michele has created over 300 marriages and has been featured on Denver ABC News, The Rocky Mountain News, Colorado 2 News, Denver Westworld, and The Denver Post.

Michele Fields

Matchmaker & Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Do subtle things like holding her hand gently and putting your hand on her back when she's going through a door that you've opened. If she doesn't make a move, she's either shy, feels it's the guy's place to make the first move, or isn't interested in that way.

Warnings

If you're nervous that's ok. feel free to talk about how your feeling with her if that helps. Sometimes just pushing through the nerves and focusing on fun/positive things can help for some people too. When bodies get excited, they send out all kinds of hormonal slurries into our blood and brain that basically make us feel hoped up on drugs. Simply saying "I'm a little nervous and excited to be here with you" is a fine thing to communicate if it makes sense to explain what's going on for you.

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