How to Respond to a Drunk "I Love You" Text

Co-authored by Julianne Cantarella and Madeleine Flamiano

Last Updated: March 31, 2022 References

"I love you!" Those three words are probably magical in most contexts, but if you just got a drunk text, you might not know how to feel. Depending on the situation, the message can be silly or sincere. We'll walk you through different scenarios so you know exactly how to respond to a drunk "I love you text." Read on to be the voice of reason and handle a tipsy text like a pro.

Section 1 of 5:

What does a drunk “I love you” text mean?

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It could be a romantic confession if it’s flirtatious or sentimental. It could be from a friend, an acquaintance, or an ex. Either they’re attracted to you and their text is a way to grab your attention, or they’re actually in love with you and alcohol gives them the courage to admit that. Whatever the case is, they may want to explore a connection with you.
- If they just have a crush, they’ll give a compliment like, “You have the most amazing eyes and make me blush every time I’m around you! 😊 I totally love you!”
- If they have serious feelings, they’ll send lots of paragraphs or say something like, “I’ve been in love with you for years now. I might be drunk, but I’m being completely sincere.”
- If they’re an ex who wants to start up a relationship again, they’ll ask something like, “Would you like to give us another chance? I know I still love you.”
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It might be a joke if it’s from a buddy and it’s really goofy. Your friend or someone you’re on good terms with may have a great sense of humor when they’re drunk. Maybe they want you to know how much they appreciate you, but they’re not actually flirting with you or looking to explore a relationship. They just want to say something silly that you’ll both laugh about.
- They’ll keep everything PG and say something like, “I love you so much! You’re like a sister to me.”
- They’ll also use light-hearted emojis to keep things platonic. For example, they might text, "Wish you were here to tell that story about Max’s bachelor party. I’m just way too drunk to do it justice! I love you, man! 😂”
- They’ll remind you they don’t see you in a romantic light with a comment like, “I’m totally not flirting, okay? 😝 Just wanted you to know you’re amazing! Love you!”
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It may just be a reaction to alcohol if the person seems overwhelmed. Your friend may be really sensitive to liquor and feeling really vulnerable. The world around them might seem really intense, and at the moment, you're one of the only people they trust. They may be reaching out to you because they want reassurance and to feel less alone.
- They might admit their anxieties with a comment like, “I feel so out of place here! Why did I agree to come to this? I wish I was just hanging out with you…I love you!”
- They may ask you for some comforting words and say something like, “I’m worried no one likes me. Do you like me? I love you!”
- They might also just be overwhelmed with emotions and give praise like, “You’re the most trustworthy person in my life, and I’d be lost without you. I love you.”

Section 2 of 5:

How do I respond to someone I like?

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Stay chill if it's a crush. When you’re casual instead of offended, they’ll be more encouraged. If you think the sender is totally cute but you’re not exactly in love, just let them know you found their text endearing. When they sober up, they’re more likely to think they’ve got a shot with you.^{[1]
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- “Aww! That’s really cute. 😊 You’re having a good time tonight, aren’t you?”
- “This is totally going to be our new inside joke, isn’t it? 😘 Thanks for the memory!”
- “Sweet! Let’s see how you feel in the morning. 😉”
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Give them really positive feedback if you share their feelings. If you’re actually in love, hint that you’d like some romance to blossom. Since you’ve been waiting for a moment like this and hoped they would finally spill their heart out to you, dote on them. Tell them you’re seriously flattered or suggest hanging out the next day so you can see if sparks will fly.
- “Wow! I’m seriously blushing.”
- “Is that so? 😏 I’ll hit you up in the morning.”
- “Aww! 😊 Can I bring you some painkillers and something greasy in the AM? 🌯”
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Tell them if you want to get to know them better first. If it’s going way too fast for your taste, ask for a slower pace. Maybe you’re on the fence about how you feel, so say you’d like a chance to explore your chemistry and compatibility. You’ll let them know that you’re curious about them.
- “I’m not really ready for you to steal my heart. 😜 I’m down for a date though!”
- “You went from 0 to 100 real quick! 😅 Still, I’d love to hang out soon.”
- “Whoa whoa whoa! Can you take me out to coffee first? ☕ 😇 I bet you’ll need it tomorrow…”
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Talk about the possibility of getting back together if your ex texted. Be clear so your ex knows if there’s still potential. Maybe you’ve been thinking of them a lot and you’d like to give them another shot. On the other hand, maybe you think they’ve had too many shots and don’t want to hear from them again. Say how far you’re willing to take things so your ex knows what to expect.^{[2]
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- “I don’t see us getting back together. 🙂 I hope you feel better, though!
- “Maybe we can have this discussion. 🤔 Now’s obviously not the right time.”
- “This text makes me feel really conflicted. I need some space to think about this.”

Section 3 of 5:

How do I politely reject someone?

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Tell them you’re not in the mood if they’re being too flirty. When you turn down the heat, they’re more likely to cool off. If they also hit you up with a ton of spicy fantasies and it’s just too hot for you to handle, tell them that. Even if they’re drunk, they’ll probably have enough sense to cut back on their thirstiness.
- “Oh wow! XD Sweet, but…TMI!”
- “This sounds way less like a romantic confession and more like a 🍑 call.”
- “I’m not that thirsty! ❌ 💦 Go get some H2O!”
- "I need to get to know you better before we start talking like this."
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Be direct if you want to turn them down. A straightforward answer gives them closure. If you don’t want to spend any time talking about the matter, give a quick reply. Tell them that you don’t want to pursue a connection and that you’re not interested in discussing their text. Be sure to end on a kind note and let them down easily.^{[3]
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- “I’m just not looking for that. I hope you get some good rest. 🫂”
- “It’s best for both of us if we just drop this subject. 👍 I’m going to delete the text now.”
- “I’m flattered, but this isn’t territory I’m going to explore. I wish you the best!”
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Discuss your boundaries if you’re uncomfortable. Your assertiveness reminds them to text more responsibly. If you think that their text wasn’t okay in any way, shape, or form, then point that out to them. Explain that you didn’t appreciate receiving it and that they should practice proper texting etiquette, even when they’re drunk.
- “These kinds of texts don’t sit well with me. Would you please reach out when you’re sober?”
- “Look, I know you’re tipsy, but this is still inappropriate. 🤷🏿”
- “Yeah, this isn’t cool. I think you should reexamine your texting habits, even when you’re drunk.”

Section 4 of 5:

How do I respond to a friend?

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Keep it light if they’re just being goofy. A joke about it so you both can have a good laugh. If you think it’s all in good fun and they weren’t really being serious, just play along. You can both bond over the silly text for years to come.
- “That’s probably the funniest text I’ve received all year. You okay?”
- “You’re too much! 🤣 Or…more accurately…the bartender’s given you too much!”
- “LOL! You’re so hammered you’d probably fall in love with a doorknob right now! 🚪”
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Try to calm them down if they’re feeling overwhelmed. Say alcohol can really affect mood so they keep everything in perspective. Maybe their confession sounds really intense. For instance, they might think they’ll lose you or they’ve never felt so close to a friend before. Reassure them that they only feel that way because they’ve been drinking and that they’ll be a lot more relaxed later. ^{[4]
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- “I bet everything feels super intense right now. Just try to get some sleep!”
- “Alcohol has a special effect on all of us! I wish I could give you a hug.”
- “The world probably feels like it’s spinning, but it’ll all feel normal again tomorrow if you stop drinking right now!”
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Let them know you want to stay platonic if it really changed the vibe. Draw a line so you can keep the friendship the way it was. Focus on the connection you already have and remind them that it’s perfect the way it is. Reassure them that you still want them in your life, even if you don’t view them in a romantic light.
- “Uh…this is a convo I didn’t expect to have. 😲 Let’s keep things platonic!”
- “I am so not ready for this! 😵‍💫 I need us to stay buds!”
- “I’m going to pretend I didn’t see this, ‘kay? But we’re still on for soccer with the crew tomorrow.”

Section 5 of 5:

How do I follow up after a drunk “I love you” text?

Suggest a chat so you can unpack their text. If they tell you that they can think clearly, then ask about the context of their message. Let them know if their text was vague and if you couldn’t tell whether it was a joke or a serious confession. Give yourselves both a chance to talk about your feelings honestly and open a dialogue with comments like:
- “I just want to know what’s really on your mind. What inspired that text?”
- “Can we talk about last night? We’ve known each other for a while, but that text came out of the blue. Were you just playing around?”
- “Now that you’re sober, can you explain what you meant by your text?”