Caught Off Guard? 7 Ways to Respond when a Girl Says She Likes You

Co-authored by Shana Tibi

Last Updated: October 28, 2021 References

Hearing that someone likes you can really throw you for a loop. Whether you suspected it or not, when a girl tells you that they have feelings for you, it’s always a bit of a shock. How should you respond? What should you do? Don’t worry. There are actually plenty of things you can say, depending on how you feel about her. To make it easier, we’ve put together a list of options to help you find the perfect response.

1

Thank her.

It’s polite and can make things feel less awkward. Whether you feel the same about them or not, it's a compliment when someone tells you they like you. A simple “thank you” is polite and positive way to respond in the moment (especially if you aren't sure what else to say).^{[1]
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- Try saying, “Thank you so much!” or “Thank you, that’s really sweet of you.”

2

Tell her that you’re flattered.

It can take some of the pressure off of her. Let her know that you appreciate the fact that she likes you by talking about how good it makes you feel to hear it. It’s also a safe option and is a great response if you aren’t exactly sure what to say back to her.^{[2]
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- For instance, “I’m so flattered to hear you say that. You’re making me blush!”
- You might also say, “Wow! I can’t tell you how good it feels to hear that."

3

Ask for time to think about it if you’re surprised.

You don’t have to respond right away. It’s okay to take some time to think about how you feel after she tells you she likes you. You don’t have to have a perfect answer on the spot. You can thank her and try to move on and bring it back up at a later time.^{[3]
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- You could try, “Wow! I had no idea. I wasn’t expecting this. Is it okay if I have some time to think about it?”
- You could also try, “I really had no clue. I'm not even sure what to say! Do you mind if I take some time to think?”

4

Tell her you like her back if you do.

If you feel the same way, let her know!^{[4]
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Expert Source

Shana Tibi
Certified Professional Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.} There’s no need to hold anything back if the feelings are mutual. Just come right out and say it! Tell her how you feel and she’ll feel much better about taking the leap of faith and expressing her feelings for you.^{[5]
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- You could say, “That makes me so happy! I like you, too.”
- Try something cheeky like, “Well, what a coincidence. I like you, too!”

5

Tell her you’re in a relationship if you are.

If you’re unavailable, she needs to know. She may not be aware of your significant other (or maybe she doesn’t care), but if you’re committed to your partner, you need to tell her so she doesn’t get the wrong idea. Keep it simple and direct so there isn’t any confusion.^{[6]
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- Try something short and sweet like, “Thanks, but I have a boyfriend/girlfriend.”
- You could also try, “I’m sorry, I actually have a boyfriend/girlfriend.”

6

Be honest but kind if you don’t feel the same way.

Respond in a clear, direct way without hurting her feelings.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Shana Tibi
Certified Professional Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.} Don’t ignore her or respond with something rude. She just put herself out there, and even if you don’t feel the same way, the polite thing to do is to let her down easy. Don’t flirt with her or do anything that could lead her on.^{[8]
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- Try saying, “That’s really sweet of you to say, but I’m sorry, I just don’t feel the same way.”
- Try saying, “I really value our friendship, but I don’t have romantic feelings for you. I hope this won’t affect things between us.”
- Try, “You’re one of the smartest people I know, but I like you as a friend.”

7

Add some emojis if you’re texting her.

They can lighten the mood especially if you aren't sure what to say.^{[9]
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Expert Source

Shana Tibi
Certified Professional Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.} If you don’t feel the same way about her, you can add some smiley faces to your response so it softens the blow. If you like her back, try adding some heart emojis or smiley faces with heart eyes for extra emphasis for how you feel.^{[10]
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- For instance, you could say, “I really hope we can still be good friends” and then add a smiley face emoji if you’re telling her you don’t like her back.
- If you like her too, try sending, “Wow! I feel the same way!” and then some heart-eyes emojis to really drive the point home.

Expert Q&A

Question

What do you do when a girl likes you but you don't like her?

Shana Tibi
Certified Professional Matchmaker
Shana Tibi is a Certified Professional Matchmaker, Date and Relationship Coach, and the Founder of Curated Connections, a matchmaking service for single professionals. Shana specializes in understanding core values and personal preferences to curate dates. She holds a BA in Peace Studies and Conflict Resolution from Prescott College and an MSW in Social Work from California State University, Hayward. She is an active member of the Global Love Institute where she earned her matchmaking certifications.

Shana Tibi

Certified Professional Matchmaker

Expert Answer

Respond kindly and politely with a compliment sandwich, where you slip honest feedback in between 2 compliments. You could say something like "I really appreciate you telling me that you like me. At this point, I don't feel the same way, but I really appreciate your honesty."
Question

What do I do if we both like each other?

Shana Tibi
Certified Professional Matchmaker
Shana Tibi is a Certified Professional Matchmaker, Date and Relationship Coach, and the Founder of Curated Connections, a matchmaking service for single professionals. Shana specializes in understanding core values and personal preferences to curate dates. She holds a BA in Peace Studies and Conflict Resolution from Prescott College and an MSW in Social Work from California State University, Hayward. She is an active member of the Global Love Institute where she earned her matchmaking certifications.

Shana Tibi

Certified Professional Matchmaker

Expert Answer

Try to learn more about the other person! What are their interests? What are the core values that you both share? Feel free to explore your connection and why you both like one another.