How to Say Sweet Things to Girls

Co-authored by Cher Gopman

Last Updated: June 2, 2021 References

Do you find yourself tongue tied when you’re around the girl you like? Do you have trouble expressing yourself? Whether it’s a girl you’ve never kissed or someone you’ve been with for years, there are always ways to say something sweet to a girl. With some preparation and practice, you can overcome any obstacles.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Preparing to Say Something Sweet

1
Think about your reservations. ^{[1]
X
Research source} If you have trouble talking to girls (or just the girls you are interested in romantically), you should think about what’s preventing you from saying the right thing. Do you find girls intimidating? Are you worried you’ll say the wrong thing? Understanding what you're nervous about will help you counter it.
2
Understand that girls are people, not goddesses. ^{[2]
X
Research source} Don’t put any girl on a pedestal. It's nice to think highly of someone you like, but no one is perfect. Girls have their faults and flaws too, and they probably worry about many of the same things you do.

Advertisement
3
Notice the physical changes that happen when you are around girls you like. Take cues from your body so that you can recognize when you're too worked up to have a conversation. Do your breathing and heartbeat get faster? Do your face and body feel flushed and sweaty? If you need extra time to calm down before you talk to girls, walk around a bit and control your breathing by inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly. Don't think too much about it ahead of time.
4
Don’t be afraid to talk to yourself. Come up with a phrase that you can repeat when you feel like you’re losing control of your emotions or body. For example, if you get nervous every time you want to talk to a girl, take a time out.
- Go somewhere quiet and tell yourself, “She’s just a person. Just a person. I’m a person. Just a person. I’m a person.” When you’ve calmed down, you should attempt to talk to her again.
5
Plan ahead. Think about what the girl means to you, and what you want to tell her. What is your goal? Do you want to date her? If you are dating her, do you want to remind her of how much you appreciate her?
6
Practice. ^{[3]
X
Research source} Once you’ve got some sweet words in mind, get in front of a mirror and say them out loud. Knowing exactly how you're going to phrase your sentence can be hugely helpful.
- Even if you have a general idea of what you want to say in mind, actually putting it into words will be beneficial.
- Try not to feel silly when you do this because it’s important to notice how you carry yourself. Hold your head up (not too high), stand up straight, and look her in the eyes when you talk. Almost any girl is happy to talk to a confident person, and you want to show her that you believe in yourself.
7
Put your best self forward. When you go to talk to girls, pay a little extra attention to your appearance. You will feel more confident, and, by putting in the effort, you are showing a girl that you care.^{[4]
X
Expert Source

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.}
- Brushing your teeth, shaving, taking a shower, and wearing the clothes you feel good in are all great ideas. The more confident you are, the better.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Saying Sweet Things to a Girl You Don’t Know Very Well

1
Carry on a good conversation. ^{[5]
X
Research source} Now that you’ve relaxed a bit, you’re on your way to saying those sweet things. Keep the conversation flowing by asking her questions about herself, making jokes, laughing, and showing interest in her answers. Try to show that you're interesting and confident without trying too hard.
2
Keep it together. Remember that you’re supposed to be as relaxed as possible, so if things don’t go according to plan, try not to panic. Search for other topics that she might be interested in talking about. Don't act desperate. If you need to, try to end the conversation on a high note and try again another day.
- You may not get a chance to say all of the things you’d like to say, and that’s fine. Focus on keeping the conversation going and pay more attention to what she says than what you want to say.
- If you listen more, you’ll find out more about her and her interests, and it will be easier to compliment her later.
3
Pay appropriate compliments. ^{[6]
X
Research source} Compliments are nice, but you shouldn’t make her uncomfortable. Focus on complimenting her actions and decisions rather than her physical features.
- Do say: “That is a really nice outfit. You have great taste.”
- Don’t say: “I like those jeans because they’re tight and show off your legs.”
4
Show an interest in her interests. ^{[7]
X
Research source} If she likes to play ultimate frisbee, start talking about that.
- Even if you aren't interested in her hobbies, show a girl that you’re interested in things that are important to her.
5
Open up room for further conversation. Say something like, “You throw really well. You’ve got to teach me about frisbee sometime.” This way you’ve complimented her, and you’re opening up a chance to have a longer conversation. She’ll think your sweet and she’ll have an easy path to continue talking to you.
- Don’t say: “I don’t really like frisbee, but it’s cool that you’re into it.”
6
Say something nice about her personality. This will show her that you have spent time getting to know her and you appreciate her. For example, if she makes a joke, say something like “You are hilarious! I can’t get enough of your humor!”
7
Don’t be cheesy. If you want to be bold and say something romantic, don’t be cheesy. You can say something like, “Listen, I know this may sound strange, but I just think you are a really beautiful person, and you make me happy. I wanted to tell you that.”
- You can also say something simpler, like, “You are a very (intelligent, pretty, lovely, witty, genuine, kind) girl, and I’m lucky to know you.” ^{[8]
  X
  Research source}
- Don’t say: “You mean the world to me." "I’d do anything for you." "I’d climb the highest mountain for your love." "I get lost in your eyes." "You are my soul mate." "We were meant to be together.” You’re just going to freak her out. Girls like romance, but not when it’s too soon and over the top.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Saying Sweet Things to a Girl You’ve Been Dating

1
Pay attention. If you really care about the girl, this will be easy. The best way to say sweet things to a girl you’re dating is to show that you care about what’s going on in her life. Say sweet things about her work, or her school, or how she interacts with her family if that’s important to her. You’ll know.
2
Boost her spirits when she is down. If she played poorly in a game, or failed a test, or whatever it may be, you can be there for her.
- Try to make her laugh, help give her perspective, or show that you care. Tell her that you love her no matter what, and that you like her just as much when things are going well as when things are going poorly. Ask what you can do to help.
- Say something like, "I'm sorry the game went poorly, but I can tell you that I think this relationship is going really well"
3
Say something nice at unexpected times. Come up to her while she’s doing her homework and give her a big hug. Tell her something nice, like that she smells good, or that she looks really cute doing her work. It’s really nice when you aren’t expecting it to hear something like that.
4
Offer daily affirmation. “I love you” is a strange phrase. It means so much when you say it, but one “I love you” doesn’t last for ever. People need constant affirmation and reassurance. If you offer this to your girlfriend without her asking, she will really appreciate it. Just tell her how happy you feel every morning to wake up next to her.
- Send her a text telling her how much you appreciate having her around. It doesn’t have to be sappy. You can just call out to her while she’s making herself some breakfast and say “Hey! I like you.”
5
Compliment the parts of her that she is insecure about. This could be parts of her body or her personality. Maybe she feels like she isn’t very athletic, or that she’s bad at talking to people, or that her ears are too big. Whatever it is, you’ll probably know. Without being incredibly obvious about it, try to mention how much you like these things.
- Tell her you love how she’s reserved around people instead of trying to be the center of attention. Trace her ears when you’re sitting together on the couch and mention how much you like them. Don’t lie, just find what she doesn’t like about herself and love it.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I talk myself up to get a girl to like me?

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Cher Gopman

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

You really don't want to spend too much time talking about yourself. Getting a girl to respond positively has a lot more to do with how you carry yourself than what you say about yourself. Don't go out of your way to talk yourself up. It's just not going to get you the result you're looking for.
Question

Is it okay to say something personal on a first date?

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Cher Gopman

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

You shouldn't air out too much dirty laundry too soon. If you're having an intimate conversation about your dreams and goals, that's totally fine. But don't get into any territory where you're telling them something embarrassing.
Question

How do I get a girlfriend?

Community Answer

This article has some great tips: how to get a girlfriend.