How to Be a Sweet, Sexy and Irresistible Guy

Co-authored by Joshua Pompey

Last Updated: July 15, 2020 References

The nice guy does not always finish last. The concept of the bad boy image is overrated. The truth is, kindness can look sexy on anyone. A little sensitivity and effort can go a long way in attracting the right people to you using your sly smiles and sex appeal.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Being Sensitive

1
Show kindness to everyone. While you obviously want to be kind to the person you are attracted to, it is also important to extend that kindness to others. This proves that your altruism is genuine and reflects on your character as a whole.
- Appreciate the other person's friends and loved ones. They are friends and loved for a reason. Find your own reasons to like and support the people who this person finds important.
- Be kind to strangers. Avoid judging people you don't know. Find ways to be kind to strangers and express that you care about the world around you.
2
Understand the other person as best you can. They may be dealing with something physically or emotionally or both. The main difference between men and women is reflected in hormones. Understanding what she is dealing with can be a great comfort to both of you.^{[1]
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Research source}
- The shifting in hormone balance surrounding the time of a woman's period can greatly effect her mood and personality.
- A woman's brain even shrinks during pregnancy!
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3
Listen without the intention of fixing the other person. Sometimes people just need to be heard. Allow the other person to express their grief or concern and avoid the urge to solve the problem. Just listening comforts and affirms them without making them feel like they are the problem.
4
Explore their passions. That’s right, passions. What a great place to start. Everyone is passionate about something. Learn what they love, then find out more about it. You will empower your potential partner and turn up the steam as they get excited about their favorite things and include you as part of them.
- What are you into?
- What do you love about it?
- Can you teach me?
5
Check in. Pay attention to their mood. If they need a little space, don’t be afraid to give it to them. You may seem a little aloof, which will draw them back to you. If they need attention, give it to them. If they need to be held, draw them close.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Being Attractive

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Take care of yourself. Even if you don't view yourself as attractive as you would like on the outside, there are things you can do to promote personal wellness. Dress nicely and practice good personal hygiene. Treating yourself with respect will attract that same respect from others.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Joshua Pompey
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.}
2
Accentuate your positive traits. Attraction can mean a lot of things. Physical and personal traits are both valuable. Find those things that you love about yourself and promote them. Confidence is sexy.
- Maybe you have a great sense of style, dress it up. Be bold in your fashion and get noticed.
- Are you really good at something? Let your talents shine. Play the guitar for your partner. Write a steamy note. Draw a picture to express your feelings toward the other person.
3
Have a sense of humor. Laughing is a form of agreement, which puts us on the same page. Making someone laugh will open them up to you, and you give the bonus of having made them feel good.
- Play off the things they say using the improvisation rule of "yes, and!" The concept is agreeing with what they say and taking it to the next level of absurdity to make it funny. "You're right! And wouldn't it be wild if...?"^{[3]
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- Avoid making fun of the other person. No one really likes being teased.
4
Redefine playing hard to get. This is the token element of the bad boy, and does not mix well with your sensitive demeanor. Playing hard to get is not a good tactic to use on someone you are attracted to. Let them know that you choose wisely, and you have chosen them.^{[4]
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Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Drawing Them to You

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Ask questions. Show that you are truly interested in them by learning as much as you can. Take a genuine interest in what they share with you. Follow this up with more questions. The vulnerability and personal nature of learning more about the other person will lead to intimacy.^{[5]
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Research source}Try these questions:
- How does that make you feel?
- What can I do to help?
2
Make eye contact. One of the most commonly listed turn-offs is someone who does not maintain eye contact. Attention should not be shared with other people in the room or other parts of the body. Getting to know someone on the inside is best done through the eyes.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Joshua Pompey
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.}
3
Practice the golden rule. Remember the other person wants to feel just as sexy and irresistible as you do. So, do unto others and see how well they respond to you. Once they feel sexy and appreciated, they will definitely want more.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I be a sweet man?

Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert
Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert with over 10 years of helping people navigate the online dating world. Joshua has run his own relationship consulting business since 2009 at a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.

Joshua Pompey

Relationship Expert

Expert Answer

Be attentive, listen, and show people that you care about them. One way to do this is to give people compliments, but you can also give people random gifts. It's really all about going out of your way to indicate that you care about people.