How to Say Yes when a Guy Asks You Out

Co-authored by Mark Rosenfeld

Last Updated: June 23, 2021 References Approved

We all fantasize about the moment when your crush asks you out. But sometimes the hardest part can be mustering up the courage to actually say yes, or figure out if he's even worth your time. With just a little courage and critical thinking, you can find the right thing to say to a guy who asks you out.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Saying Yes

1
Be positive and simple. Let your sentence be well thought-out and avoid beating around the bush. Otherwise, he may be confused and a little hurt. Refrain from telling him something to the tune of "Sounds okay" or "I'll go for it." Both phrases convey reluctance which could give him a sense of insecurity about himself and nervousness. Instead, try for a phrase similar to "Yes, I would love to!"^{[1]
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Expert Source

Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.}
- Here are examples of other responses that convey enthusiasm and certainty: "That sounds great," "Of course, I would love to," "Yes, I'm so flattered you would ask," and "That would be lovely." These are simple, more mature answers, but prove to a boy you are more adult and mature.^{[2]
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  Expert Source
  
  Mark Rosenfeld
  Dating & Relationship Coach
  Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.}
- Here are some responses that would be appropriate for a text message proposal: "Perfect, See U Then ;)," "Yes!" and "I thought you'd never ask :D"
- Don't feel like you need the perfect, well-thought out response. A perfect response can just be a sincere smile followed by an enthusiastic "Yes!"
2
Try practicing the conversation. This step is especially ideal if you know beforehand that he's going to ask you out. Imagine him in your mind asking you out as vividly as possible so you can work through any fear you have beforehand. Carefully select the words you want to use in your response and say them out loud until you feel confident enough.

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3
Practice positive body language. Words are only half the battle when saying yes. If you are truly excited about his offer then your body should reflect that excitement. There are a few easy ways to convey enthusiasm throughout your body.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.}
- Keep an open posture. Don't cross your arms or your legs if you can avoid it. Stand with your arms open and your legs shoulder-width apart. A closed posture can convey fear, hesitation, and anxiety. ^{[4]
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- Maintain eye contact and smile. You may become embarrassed or afraid, causing you to avert yours eyes away from him.^{[5]
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  Expert Source
  
  Mark Rosenfeld
  Dating & Relationship Coach
  Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.} Fight against your shyness and stare straight into his eyes while maintaining a bright, genuine smile so he knows you are as interested as he is. ^{[6]
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- Don't be afraid of affection. If your reaction after saying yes is to give him a huge hug - then do it! Appropriate levels of physical affection, like a hug or a peck on the cheek, are an easy to show your enthusiasm.
4
Build confidence. Being able to smoothly talk to romantic interests requires a strong sense of self-worth and belief in your own abilities. However, confidence doesn't happen overnight and you have to build it with a series of daily rituals and routines.
- Make a habit of saying nice things to yourself. Focus on your strengths and constantly remind yourself of your best traits. For example, you might look at yourself in the mirror every once in awhile and say, "I'm a caring, compassionate person and I deserve to feel confident."
- Talk to your friends and family about your insecurities. It's easy for negativity and self-doubt to build when you can't vent to anyone. Let your loved ones know when you're feeling down so they can remind you of your strengths and reaffirm how many people care about you.
- Take time for yourself. Make sure you have time to immerse yourself in the things you enjoy. Paint, practice music, read, or engage with whatever your hobbies are so you can keep yourself upbeat and interested. Happy people are confident people.
5
Stay strong if you begin to falter. Inevitably you may trip up your words while responding to him, and that's completely fine. In fact, he may find your nervousness endearing. You don't need to be perfect, just keep talking to him and give him some form of a yes.
6
Follow up with him if you didn't say the right thing. You may have said "No" out of nervousness, shyness, or confusion. In this situation, your best course of action would be to talk to him as soon as you can and clear up your feelings. Explain the situation in a simple, calm fashion. For example, you might say, "Wow, I can't believe how taken aback I was at your question the other day. I meant to say yes but I was so shocked that I blurted out no without thinking about it. I would love to go out with you!"
7
Clarify his intentions. "Will you go out with me?" is a vague question, and after or even before saying "Yes" you should make sure exactly what he's asking. Does he want to start a relationship? Is he interested in dating casually? Does he just want to go out to a movie? Understand his endgame so the two of you don't have different ideas about your future plans.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Deciding If He's Right for You

1
Consider whether you really would want to date this person. Does he have a good personality that you are attracted to? Are you genuinely attracted to him or are you just flattered that someone would ask you out? Would you really consider starting a serious relationship with him?
- If you answered yes to most of these questions, maybe he is someone you'd want to get into a relationship with. However, it's best that you get to know him better if you don't already know him well enough to go out with him.
- If you answered no to most of these questions, perhaps you should reconsider your answer to him. You could decline or you could take the chance and go out with him, but remember to make sure you choose an answer that makes you happy and that you won't regret later.
- Don't be afraid to take your time when deciding. Entering a relationship with someone is a decision that should be taken seriously. Remember that other partners will be available in the future so don't feel pressured to accept an offer from a person who you don't truly desire.
2
Think about the qualities you want in a partner. Write down the traits you want your ideal partner to have. Consider things like religious beliefs, hobbies, career goals, ethics, physical features, sexual preferences, and lifestyle choices. Order them from most important to least important so you can determine which features you would be willing to compromise on. Next, try and discern how many of these features are mirrored in the guy who asked you out. ^{[7]
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3
Assess your motivations for saying yes. Think about whether you want to go out with him because you genuinely enjoy his company, or because you're trying to cover up insecurities. By accepting his invitation, you've started something with him, and you cannot end it after one day with him. Remember that boys are not toys - they have their own feelings as well, and you should respect that.
4
Ask for a day or a class period to think about the offer. This can be a good option if you're too taken aback or uncertain to respond immediately. If the guy cannot respect that, maybe you shouldn't consider dating him at all. However, if he truly cares about you and he respects your request then it's a good sign that he's worth your time.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Keeping Your Relationship Alive

1
Work out a way to meet again soon. After saying yes, it's crucial to keep the momentum alive. A good way to do this is setting up another date after he initially asked you out. Maybe even switch roles and ask him out this time.
2
Make sure to keep communicating. For example, send a follow-up text after he asked you out saying how excited you are for the date. Or, you could just open more lines for casual conversation. Start asking him about his day, or open up and tell him some of the random thoughts on your mind that you might not communicate with anyone else.
3
Recognize when it's not working out. Unfortunately, a relationship may go awry even if you accepted his proposal in the best possible way. There can be number of early warning signs that can tell you whether the relationship, even if it's just casual dating, is worth it.
- Look out for possessiveness. If you're only a few weeks into the relationship and he's trying to know your whereabouts 24/7, then something's not right. Make sure you have enough time for your own independence in the relationship. ^{[8]
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- See if he's caught up on another lover. Some people rush into relationships in order to compensate for harsh breakups. Press gently on his past loves to gauge how he feels about them. Open up about your past relationships as well to make him feel more comfortable.
- Heed advice from friends. Be sure to take him around your friends and family to get a feel for how he reacts around them. While you know what's best, the judgement of loved ones can be useful for judging whether someone is right for you.

Expert Q&A

Question

How shouldn't you respond when a guy asks you out?

Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach
Mark Rosenfeld is a Dating and Relationship Coach for women and founded Make Him Yours in 2015. Mark specializes in helping people find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships. He has been featured in Style Magazine, Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, News.com.au, and The Good Men Project. Mark’s dating videos have received over 60 million views, and his book “Make Him Yours – Beating the Odds of Modern Dating” was a best-seller on Amazon on its release.

Mark Rosenfeld

Dating & Relationship Coach

Expert Answer

Don't play hard-to-get—there's no reason to. The guy is taking a risk and making himself vulnerable by asking the question, so you want to reward that.
Question

How do you respond to a text asking you out?

Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach
Mark Rosenfeld is a Dating and Relationship Coach for women and founded Make Him Yours in 2015. Mark specializes in helping people find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships. He has been featured in Style Magazine, Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, News.com.au, and The Good Men Project. Mark’s dating videos have received over 60 million views, and his book “Make Him Yours – Beating the Odds of Modern Dating” was a best-seller on Amazon on its release.

Mark Rosenfeld

Dating & Relationship Coach

Expert Answer

Don't overcomplicate it! Something like "I'd love to!" or "That sounds great!" works well. You could also reply, "I suppose we can make that happen" with a winky face included at the end.
Question

What if the question was a joke? What would you do then?

Community Answer

It depends on the context, but I would laugh and treat it like a joke rather than a serious proposal. That seems like a cruel joke so maybe assess whether this person is really a friend.