Even though texting is one of the most common ways to communicate, someone might get confused about what tone you’re using. Since the other person won’t be able to read your body language, it’s so important to clearly say how you’re feeling so it doesn’t get lost in translation. Luckily, you can easily make a few changes to your messages to avoid confusion. We’ve put together a ton of helpful tips and examples of what to say no matter how you’re feeling.

1

Name your feelings.

  1. Be honest with your emotions so the person isn’t confused. Rather than trying to hide how you’re feeling from the other person, don’t be afraid to come right out and say it. Take a second to reflect on your emotions so you can accurately tell the person you’re chatting with.
    • For example, to show that you’re happy, you could say something like, “Ah! I am so excited for you!” or, “That makes me feel amazing!”
    • If you’re talking about more serious topics, you might try something like, “I’m just a bit upset,” or, “I’ve been feeling a little depressed recently.”
    • Try looking at a feelings chart online to find a good range of words to use. For example, instead of saying “good,” you might try “joyful,” “fortunate,” or “appreciative.”
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2

State what’s making you feel a certain way.

  1. The person may understand better if they know what caused your mood. If you just give a one-word answer on how you’re feeling, it doesn’t give a lot for the other person to continue the conversation. It might take a little bit to figure out what’s making you feel that way, but try your best to find the cause.[1]
    • For example, if you’re looking forward to a date, you might say something like, “I’m so excited to grab dinner with you tonight!”
    • If you’re upset about a bad day at work, try saying, “It’s been a really long work day, so I’m just a bit grumpy.”
3

Write longer descriptions of your emotions.

  1. Sending short messages tends to sound passive-aggressive. Saying something like “I’m good,” or “I’m fine,” leaves a lot of mystery about how you’re actually feeling. Go into a little more detail about how you’re feeling so the person you’re messaging doesn’t assume the wrong idea. Pepper in some descriptive words that help capture your emotion a little better.
    • Rather than saying “I’m good,” you may say, “It’s been a fantastic day so I’m doing great!”
    • Instead of saying, “I’m sad,” you could try, “I’ve had a rough time lately, so I’m feeling a bit down.”
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4

Use punctuation.

  1. Different punctuation marks affect how someone reads your tone. It’s okay to use periods on longer sentences, but leave it off of shorter one-word texts since it could make your message sound negative. If you want to show you’re excited or really passionate about something, try an exclamation point instead. Everyone has a different texting style, so read through your other texts to get an idea of how the person uses punctuation.[2]
    • You could try saying something like, “OMG that’s so exciting!! I’m so happy for you!”
    • For example, saying “Okay.” sounds a lot harsher than saying “Okay” without the period, though the latter might sound more dismissive.
    • Just be careful not to end every sentence with exclamation points so you don’t overuse them.
5

Add in emojis.

  1. Someone can instantly see how you feel based on the emoji you use. If your text could be taken a few different ways, try to add a small emoticon or emoji somewhere in the message. There are tons of emojis to choose from, so just find one that matches your mood to use. Just be careful not to overuse or rely only on emojis to talk about how you’re feeling.[3]
    • If you’re happy, try 😄, 😊, or 😀.
    • If you want to convey a silly mood, use 😋, 😜, or 🤪.
    • When you’re sad, try 😕, ☹️, or 😢.
    • If you’re angry, you might use 😡, 😠, or 🤬.
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7

Emphasize words with extra letters.

  1. Repeat the same letter in a word so it draws more attention. The other person may try to assume your emotions from which words you chose to lengthen, so clearly say how you’re feeling somewhere in the message. Just be careful not to overuse this technique in your messages since it could make them harder to read.[4]
    • For example, if you’re feeling anxious while you’re waiting for something, you might say, “I am soooo boooored,” or “This is taking foreverrrrr.”
    • If you’re excited, you could try saying something like, “Yessss!! That’s such good news!”
    • If you’re curious about something, you might say, “I dunno about that. Are you suuuuure?”
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8

Type “haha” or “lol” if you’re laughing.

9

End your message with a tone indicator.

  1. A tone indicator is a forward slash followed by letters at the end of a message. Adding an indicator quickly lets someone know the intent of your text. Since the other person can’t hear your voice, the tone indicator lets them know how they’re supposed to read the message in their head. Some tone indicators you can try include:[6]
    • /j for joking: “I’m so mad you took the last cookie /j”
    • /s for sarcasm: “Wow, work was the most fun I’ve ever had /s”
    • /srs for serious: “I could just break down in tears rn /srs”
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10

Reread your text before sending it.

References

  1. Judith Gottesman, MSW. Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.
  2. https://hbr.org/2020/03/10-digital-miscommunications-and-how-to-avoid-them
  3. Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.
  4. Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.
  5. https://cyberpsychology.eu/article/view/4285/3330
  6. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/09/style/tone-indicators-online.html
  7. Julianne Cantarella. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.

About This Article

Mark Rosenfeld
Co-authored by:
Dating & Relationship Coach
This article was co-authored by Mark Rosenfeld and by wikiHow staff writer, Hunter Rising. Mark Rosenfeld is a Dating and Relationship Coach for women and founded Make Him Yours in 2015. Mark specializes in helping people find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships. He has been featured in Style Magazine, Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, News.com.au, and The Good Men Project. Mark’s dating videos have received over 60 million views, and his book “Make Him Yours – Beating the Odds of Modern Dating” was a best-seller on Amazon on its release. This article has been viewed 26,352 times.
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Co-authors: 9
Updated: January 4, 2023
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