How to Split Expenses As a Couple

Last Updated: November 20, 2022 References

Splitting expenses as a couple is an important aspect of having a stable relationship, especially if you’re living together. There are several ways to split expenses. One way is to split everything right down the middle, so each person pays half. The other way is for each person to pay for what they can afford. The final way is for one person to pay all or most of the expenses. If one of you works little or not at all, that person should make up the difference by contributing energy toward domestic tasks. Finally, ensure you’re covering yourself by keeping separate bank accounts and not cosigning loans with your partner.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Choosing the Right Method

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Determine what expenses qualify as shared.^{[1]
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Research source} Sometimes it is easy to identify a shared expense. For instance, heating, water, and electricity are house-wide expenses and you will both, presumably, enjoy their use in approximately equal amounts. But it might be harder to justify sharing other expenses. If you have TV service at your home, for instance, but only one of you watches TV, it makes little sense to split that particular expense.
- Talk to your partner about which expenditures they believe should be considered shared and which should be considered individual expenses.^{[2]
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Split expenses evenly.^{[3]
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Research source} By splitting every expense evenly, you and your partner have a form of equality in the relationship. This is probably the most logical way to split expenses for couples who have equal or roughly equal incomes.
- There are many ways to split expenses 50/50. You might choose to split each expense as it comes in. Alternately, you might reconcile receipts at the end of each month and pay your partner whatever is “owed.” Talk to your partner about which method works best for you.
- You don’t need to split everything perfectly evenly. Creating a spreadsheet to track expenses, or otherwise accounting for every penny spent between you can reduce your relationship to a purely economic exchange that takes the romance out of it. Even if you split household bills, it’s still okay to treat your significant other to dinner or a date when you go out.
- For instance, you might take turns paying for dinner. Even if your dinners don’t total the exact same amount each time you go out to eat, over time, you’ll each probably end paying about the same amount. This qualifies as a form of splitting costs evenly.
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3
Split your expenses according to income.^{[4]
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Research source} This expense-splitting technique calls for the person with the higher income paying for a larger share of the household expenses. In other words, equality is achieved through each person in the relationship paying expenses according to their ability.
- For example, suppose you earn $3,000 per month and your partner earns $2,000 each month. In this case, you should pay for 60% of the expenses, since your income is 60% of the total household income (the figure you get when you combine the incomes of you and your partner).
- Talk carefully with your partner to make sure that there are no hidden issues before going forward with this method. In some cases, your partner may feel as though they are contributing too much or too little if this method is used.
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Share expenses unevenly. In this method, one person will pay for the majority of household expenses.^{[5]
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Research source} This is the natural choice to make when one person in the relationship has way more income than the other person. However, if both you and your partner make a lot of money, either of you could choose to take on an expense-splitting arrangement like this.
- A fair arrangement doesn’t necessarily need to divide all expenses perfectly. For instance, one of you could take the internet bill while the other takes the power bill. Divide things up according to whichever scheme suits your situation.
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Be willing to trade time and money.^{[6]
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Research source} If you work and your partner doesn’t or if your partner works but you do not, there are other ways you can come to a fair arrangement by thinking about the work (as well as the money) it takes to run a household. Domestic work – cleaning, cooking, and doing the laundry – is crucial to keeping a household going. It makes little sense for one person to both complete all these tasks and also provide financial stability for you as a couple.
- Think about splitting the total amount of work that each of you do as a couple rather than thinking of splitting expenses along purely financial lines.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Splitting Food Expenses

1
Figure out your food budget.^{[7]
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Research source} Your food budget is the total you spend on food over a given period. To get an accurate picture of how much you spend on food, track your expenses over a certain period of time. Tracking over a month is a good unit of time, since depending on how much you and your partner eat, you might not spend much on food.
- Use a shared spreadsheet in Google Doc or another program to track your expenditures.^{[8]
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  Research source} Your document should indicate each item you bought and how much it cost.
- Alternatively, try a low-tech route like writing your grocery and dining-out expenses on a piece of lined paper.
- Keep your receipts while tracking your food budget.
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Analyze the budget.^{[9]
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Research source} Once you’ve figured out your food budget, evaluate the information with your partner. Are you spending too much, too little, or just the right amount? Look for areas where you can cut expenses.
- For instance, instead of spending so much on junk food and snacks, try to find healthy alternatives like fruit or veggies and hummus.
- Instead of eating out so much, try eating at home more often. Make cooking together a couple's activity.
- Eliminate or reduce your alcohol consumption for more savings.
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Decide how to split the food expenditures.^{[10]
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Research source} You can use an income-based method to choose how to split the food expenses, or split the food expenses according to consumption patterns. Whatever method you choose, ensure you and your partner agree on how much money you should be spending on food, and ensure you both set aside money each month for your grocery budget.
- Let go of small differences in food consumption. Even if your partner eats more than you, constantly analyzing how much money each person owes for food can put a strain on the relationship.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Being Smart About Shared Finances

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Plan for emergencies.^{[11]
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Research source} Both you and your partner should have money saved in the event that one or both of you needs to pay for surgery, a new vehicle, or another large expense. Try to set aside at least 25% of your monthly income for savings.
- You should have at least six months’ worth of income saved to cover periods of potential unemployment.
- Be sure to set beneficiaries on your retirement and insurance plans, too.
- If you separate from your partner, don’t forget to change your beneficiary list.
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Have regular financial checkups.^{[12]
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Research source} Every month or two, you and your partner should have a conversation about where you’re both at financially. Are you still both increasing your savings? Do you have enough saved to cover an emergency? Are you both still comfortable with the way expenses are being shared? Talk to your partner about these and other related issues.
- Make budgeting and financial planning an activity you do together. This can be more successful or even exciting if you are both working towards a common goal, such as a vacation or purchasing a home.
- Always be honest about your finances. If you are struggling financially, you should admit to your partner that you’re having money problems. That way they can help you out by either loaning you money, helping you find another job, or taking other action that can help.
- Encourage your partner to be honest with you about their spending habits and their happiness with your current financial arrangement. If your partner lies about money matters, you should seriously consider ending the relationship.
- Don’t let your partner push you into a purchase you can’t really afford.^{[14]
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  Research source} For instance, if you can’t afford a new car but your partner really wants you to have one, stand firm and insist that you will not make such a purchase. If they love you, they will respect your decision.
3
Do not move in with your significant other for financial reasons.^{[15]
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Research source} Living with someone else and sharing expenses does save money, but if you make the decision to shack up based on the potential economic benefit, your relationship will be on an unstable foundation. Only move in together if you’re truly in love with the person and ready to be in close proximity to them night and day. This will make splitting finances just one part of your relationship, and not its entire basis.
4
Avoid borrowing money.^{[16]
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Research source} Not only is it annoying for your partner, but it might make them suspicious of your financial health and question your intentions. It’s okay to borrow money in an emergency situation, but don’t make a regular habit of it.
- If your partner regularly asks to borrow money, you should inquire as to why they constantly need money. They may have lost their job or have unpaid debts you don’t know about.
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Avoid sharing debts.^{[17]
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Research source}^{[18]
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Research source} Cosigning a loan for your partner is never a good idea. The last thing you want to do is end up saddled with debt that you did not personally incur. Only make a large investment with your partner like a house or car if you are in a stable, long-term relationship.^{[19]
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- You should ask your partner about any debts or liabilities that they may hold. Be honest about your own debt as well. Keeping these secret can ruin a relationship when the debt is discovered by the other partner.
- Always put both your names on the lease, mortgage, or loan. This will allow you some degree of protection in the event you and your partner separate.
- For mortgages, consult a real-estate attorney to help you figure out the best way to negotiate your local real estate laws as they relate to your relationship. A married couple has different options for taking out a home loan than an unmarried couple.
- For auto loans, too, you (and your partner) should talk to a financial officer at your local bank or credit union. There are many variables that could impact whether you and your partner decide to take out an individual loan or cosign the loan. Seek advice relevant to your living situation in order to get the lowest interest rates and avoid shared debt.
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Do not share assets.^{[20]
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Research source} Assets are valuable possessions or investments. Common assets include bank accounts as well as big-ticket items. Typical material assets include houses, cars, and boats. These items should never be purchased using both your names. Otherwise, you might end up wrangling over ownership in the event you separate.
- Bank accounts, likewise, should never be shared between you and your partner. These accounts can be a source of tension should one partner decide to use the money for themselves.
- If you want to set up a shared account with your partner – for instance, an account either of you can use to pay bills – keep it completely separate from your personal account. Put a small amount of money in it each month along with your partner, and use it only to pay the bills you intended it for.