There’s no getting around it—we all have days where we say something we regret. But what about the people who are constantly negative and self-centered? Also known as “fake people,” these individuals can be a constant drain on your emotional and mental wellbeing. Don’t worry. We’ve put together plenty of tips and tricks to help you pinpoint all the fake people in your life, so you can spend more time with your genuine friends.

1

They're quick to judge.

  1. They won't hesitate to pass judgment and rarely give compliments. Fake people tend to manipulate and claw their way to the top by putting others down. Belittling the people around them bolsters their own sense of self and helps them feel less threatened by others.[1]
    • For example, a fake person might give a co-worker a back-handed compliment instead of saying something genuinely nice.
    • They might make passive-aggressive comments about a colleague’s work performance, or make a judgmental remark about a friend’s outfit.
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2

They’re rude and hurtful.

  1. Fake people make harsh comments without a second thought. Friends may poke fun at each other once in a while, but their playful barbs will always be just that: playful. Check-in with yourself after spending some time with this individual—do they make you feel supported and uplifted, or treat you like you’re worthless?[2] If you always feel negative around this person, there’s a good chance they’re fake.[3]
    • A fake friend might say something like, “You aren’t good enough to make the soccer team” or “You shouldn’t bother applying to that school.” A lot of times, these hurtful remarks stem from jealousy.
    • A fake person won’t give out compliments. Instead, they’ll look for ways to bring everyone else down.
3

They don’t really listen.

  1. Your conversations will go in one ear and out the other. If someone’s really busy, they might not be able to give you their full attention. That’s okay—what isn’t okay is when a person never invests in or pays attention to what you have to say.[4] If your friend, co-worker, or acquaintance is just going through the motions of a conversation, they’re probably a fake person.[5]
    • For instance, a fake person might seem bored or zoned out when you talk about your plans for the night.
    • If you tell a fake person that you’re going to a wedding over the weekend, they won’t bother asking you how it went.
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7

They’re fickle friends.

8

They aren’t consistent.

  1. Inauthentic people find it difficult to focus on just one thing. Instead of being devoted to a single project, fake individuals will jump from idea to idea without putting much effort in. As they spread their schedule thinner and thinner, these people tend to miss important commitments. When called out on these inconsistencies, they’ll come up with excuses or pass the buck to the next person.[10]
    • A fake person might join a lot of clubs and extra-curricular activities but not put effort into any of them.
    • They might also commit to too many projects at work, and miss lots of deadlines in the process.
    • A fake friend might agree to hang out with you, and then cancel plans last minute.
9

They won’t give a real apology.

10

They can’t handle criticism.

11

They’re scared of failure.

  1. Genuine people can accept the possibility of failure. These individuals use their failures as a springboard for future improvement; a fake person usually gives up once something goes wrong. Unfortunately, fake people aren’t so accepting of their faults, and feel so nervous about the possibility of failure that they never try anything new.[14]
    • A fake person might sign up for low-level classes instead of taking more challenging courses.
    • A genuine person will look for opportunities to advance their career, while a fake person might be content staying where they are.
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Community Q&A

  • Question
    If I'm scared of failure, but try my hardest to just be my weird and kind self, am I fake or real?
    Nico
    Nico
    Top Answerer
    You're real. Anyone who truly wishes to be kind, and is kind to others, is a good person. Also, since you're being yourself, you actually can't be fake! Lots of people are scared of failure. This doesn't make you "fake," though.
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About This Article

Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA
Co-authored by:
Adult Counselor & Certified Hypnotherapist
This article was co-authored by Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA and by wikiHow staff writer, Janice Tieperman. Julia Lyubchenko is an Adult Counselor and a Hypnotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Running a practice called Therapy Under Hypnosis, Julia has over eight years of counseling and therapy experience, specializing in resolving emotional and behavioral problems. She has a Certificate in Clinical Hypnosis from the Bosurgi Method School and is certified in Psychodynamic Psychotherapy and Hypnotherapy. She earned an MA in Counseling Psychology and Marriage and Family Therapy from Alliant International University and an MSc in Developmental and Child Psychology from Moscow State University. This article has been viewed 86,722 times.
52 votes - 67%
Co-authors: 4
Updated: February 3, 2022
Views: 86,722
Categories: Personality Traits
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