How to Improve Your Personality

Co-authored by Shannon O'Brien, MA, EdM

Last Updated: August 30, 2022 References Approved

Your personality includes your individual differences from other people in how you think, feel, and behave.^{[1]
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Trustworthy Source
American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists
Go to source} You might want to improve your personality if you just moved to a new school, got a new job, or simply because you want to be your best version of yourself. You can develop a warmer personality by making good connections with others, learning new things, and having some fun!

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Developing Your Conversation Skills

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Read something every day. Another component of improving your personality is expanding your knowledge. Keep up with the current news by reading a few articles on your phone or open a novel and read a chapter or two. This will help stimulate your mind and give you things to discuss with others.^{[2]
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2
Develop opinions on important issues. From your readings, begin to form your own opinions about the current events of today. You might find that others will be debating the issue around you soon, so you’ll want to have something to contribute. Make sure you articulate your points with grace and logic.^{[3]
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- You might say something like, “Though I can understand the arguments against affirmative action, I do believe this country has done some terrible things to setback minorities and that we have some responsibility to correct that.”
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3
Be a good listener. When others are speaking, listen to understand them. Don’t wait until they’re finished so you can respond, but truly focus in on what they’re saying. Try to repeat back what they’ve said to you every few minutes so you can show that you hear them.^{[4]
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- You might say something like, “So, Jan it seems like you’re frustrated that your boss decided to promote the new guy instead of you. I can see how that would be really upsetting.”
4
Put your phone down. To make deeper connections with others and improve your personality, unplug from time to time. You'll be much more well received if you're engaged with those around you as opposed to scrolling down your timeline or liking pics.^{[5]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Becoming More Well-Rounded

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Meet new people. Making new connections can help teach you more about others and build your social skills. Seek friendships with those different from your current friends so you can become a more well-rounded person.^{[6]
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- You might join a club at your school to meet new folks, go to a church, or find a group tailored to your interests, like a book club.
2
Practice a fun hobby. The most fun and enjoyable people aren’t the ones cooped up at home watching Netflix all day! They’re out and about doing fun and productive things. Find something that you enjoy that can help connect you to others while also peaking your interest.^{[7]
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- For instance, you might try horseback riding, swimming, or joining a fitness class.
- Make sure to try out new hobbies as well. This will test the limits of your comfort zone and help you to grow.
3
Do something just for you daily. The people with the best personalities are usually those who are the happiest. Make yourself happy by spending some time each day, even if it’s just fifteen minutes, doing something fun for you.
- You might choose to play basketball, get some ice cream, watch a movie, or go to dinner with a friend.
- When you’re feeling crabby throughout your day, improve your mood by watching a funny video or searching for funny memes.
4
Maintain a healthy diet. Improve your personality and your mood by eating healthy foods. Fruit in particular has been proven to help increase motivation so munch on some apples, oranges and bananas today!^{[8]
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5
Meditate daily. Sometimes, life can be a mess and it can make your mind even messier. Without proper focus, you might find that you’re rude to others, absent-minded, or just plain grouchy. Take some time each day to clear your mind and improve your mental health by meditating.^{[9]
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- If you’ve never meditated before, try using an app on your phone like Headspace, Calm, or Insight Timer.
6
Reflect on what you’re grateful for each day. Each day, either in the morning or before you go to bed, take some time to think about one thing you’re grateful for. This will help you become a more positive person and ensure you don’t take anything for granted.^{[10]
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- You might choose to write these down or simply meditate or pray about them. Get into the habit of writing down 3 things that you are grateful for every day. You may even want to set a reminder on your phone so that you remember to do this.
7
Spend time with family and friends. The best folks to improve your personality with and for are those closest to you. Spend time each week connecting with them. Visit your mom and bring her flowers, or bring over soup to your friend who is sick. They will appreciate your thoughtfulness and will return the favor to you. Now go forth and show everyone how awesome you are!

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Making a Good Impression

1
Greet everyone with a smile. The first and most simple step you can take to improve your personality is to give everyone a warm greeting. People will perceive you as friendly and kind if you smile when you see them. Flash your pearly whites and shake their hands or hug them.
2
Mind your manners. Politeness conveys respect and thoughtfulness to others. Use the appropriate titles, such as Dr., when greeting someone. Show special respect to elders, always referring to them as Mr. or Mrs./Ms.
- Have good table manners too. Sit up straight, keep your elbows off the table, and don’t smack or slurp.
3
Ask open-ended questions. When you meet someone, don’t go on and on about yourself; get to know them instead! Ask them questions about themselves that require more than a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer.^{[11]
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- You might say something like, “So, I hear you’re a big music buff. Who are some of your favorite artists?”
- If you have trouble making conversation with others, join a group like Toastmasters. They're designed to help build your confidence in networking and public speaking.
4
Keep your promises. Those who have good personalities are often very reliable and trustworthy people. If you tell someone you’ll do something, don’t make excuses! Just follow through so they know they can depend on you.^{[12]
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- For instance, if you have a meeting set for 10 AM, arrive a few minutes early. This will show that you are respectful of others time. If you tell your mom you’ll take her to dinner for her birthday, do it! Get her a card, too!
5
Offer a helping hand to those in need. Always look for little opportunities to help others. See someone struggling to get a book off a high shelf? Step in if you can. Or perhaps you’re on a bus and a woman with a cane enters. Offer her your seat! Personality is created in part by all of the kindness you show for others, so get started today!^{[13]
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6
Continue doing these things even if they don’t come naturally. Keep in mind that it takes time for changes to become habits, or to even become comfortable with new behaviors. If you find it hard to adapt any of these new behaviors, then focus on faking it until they become more comfortable for you.
- For example, if you are uncomfortable with smiling, then smiling regularly should start to relieve some of that discomfort and it will eventually become easier for you.

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Setting Goals

1
Set goals for yourself. People with great personalities are motivated to becoming the best version of themselves. Set goals for yourself, both personally and professionally, so you can reach your full potential.^{[14]
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- For instance, you might set a short term goal of working out three times this week. Your long term goal could be getting a promotion at work within a year.
- Make sure that the goals you set for yourself will push you beyond your comfort zone in some way. Otherwise, you will not grow from them.
2
Make an action plan. In order to achieve your goals, you’ll need a plan. Write down what you want to do and each step required to achieve it. Celebrate at each step as you make it through!^{[15]
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- For instance, if you want to get a promotion, you might make it your goal to nail the presentation you have coming up. You might also set a goal of arriving to work early each day, taking on additional tasks, and completing a training to advance your skills.
3
Learn a new skill. Trying something new can help teach you perseverance and improve your work ethic, both of which are important to personality. Identify something you want to learn or improve upon and start at it soon.^{[16]
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- You might choose something like cooking or learning a new language.

Expert Q&A
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Question

How can I improve my brain?

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
Professional Counselor
Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Professional Counselor

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Challenge it by continually learning new things. For instance, learn to cook, to ski, to knit, to play soccer, or to write short stories.
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How can I improve my appearance?

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
Professional Counselor
Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Professional Counselor

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Maintain a healthy diet, exercise regularly, and dress appropriately. Getting a haircut or buying a new outfit can help you feel better about your appearance as well.
Question

How can you improve your attitude?

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
Professional Counselor
Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Change your worldview to one of openness to new experiences, not judging others or yourself, and seeing the positive side of any situation.