What Makes a Woman Magnetic and Irresistible? 11 Ways to Become Unforgettable & Alluring

Co-authored by Hardy Jean

Last Updated: October 4, 2022 References

Who doesn't want to appear magnetic and irresistible to potential matches? You might be surprised to realize that it's actually a very attainable goal. Though looks might play a part, there are a lot of qualities that have to do with a woman's personality that are nearly universally appealing. This article has a list of desirable traits that can make you alluring to everyone you meet, along with some advice on how to achieve each one.

1

Be confident and love yourself first.

People are drawn to self-assured women. If you show people that you have faith in yourself and your abilities, they'll be really attracted to you and want to learn more about you.^{[1]
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Research source} When you're talking to dates and potential romantic interests, be proud of your accomplishments and talents. Speak with assurance and avoid making yourself small. Even if you feel like you're faking it (no one feels confident 100% of the time), people will buy it and likely be super into you.^{[2]
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- On dates, play up your talents and speak highly of yourself. You might mention that you recently got a promotion at work or sold one of your paintings.
- When you're at parties, approach new people and strike up a conversation. You might say something like, "Hey, I'm Tiffany. How are you doing tonight?" If you make eye contact and smile, this person will likely be impressed with your charisma.
- There's a difference between being confident and being cocky. To avoid coming off as arrogant, take an interest in your date's accomplishments and give them a chance to talk about themselves, too. Challenge him to be a better version of himself, not from a place of him having a lot, but from a place of getting him to be so inspired in what you're doing.
- It's okay if you're still working on your confidence. As a helpful exercise, try writing down everything you like about yourself. Return to that list anytime you're feeling down to remember how amazing you are. The more you focus on what's good about you, the more confident you will feel.^{[3]
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  National Health Service (UK)
  Public healthcare system of the UK
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2

Be friendly and smile often.

Pretty much everyone likes to be around kind, positive people. When you get to know potential love interests, be warm and inviting. Greet people with a hello and a smile, start up conversations and ask questions to show your genuine interest, and give nice compliments. It may seem simple, but when it comes to finding a long-term romantic match, people are interested in someone that treats them with kindness.^{[4]
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- Wave and say hello to people when you're out and about. You might even try greeting them and saying their name with something like, "Hey Mary, good to see you today!"
- At parties and social events, ask people how they're doing and stick around to really listen to what they have to say. You might say, "Hey Daniel! What have you been up to lately? Last time we talked you mentioned you were planning a trip."
- If you like something about someone, go ahead and tell them. Say something like, "You've got such a great sense of humor. You always make me laugh."
- Part of being friendly is simply having good manners. Say please and thank you, apologize if you ever make a mistake, and be kind and courteous to wait staff when you're on dates at restaurants.

3

Maintain open and inviting body language.

Appearing confident and approachable helps attract people to you. Walk with your head held high and your shoulders back. In conversation, make direct eye contact with people and nod along as they speak to show that you're listening to them. These small body language cues help you appear more inviting and will likely make you stand out as one of the most confident women in the room.^{[5]
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- Other ways you can adopt open body language include leaning in when someone is talking to you and gesturing with your hands as you speak to appear more animated and engaged.

4

Have a good sense of humor.

Studies show that people are drawn to people that make them laugh. Do your best to relax and joke around with people that you're interested in. If your date is funny, too, don't be afraid to laugh at their jokes and riff with them. You'll appear way more down to earth, and your dates will love spending time with someone that's so fun to be around.^{[6]
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- When you're texting with someone that you like, send them funny memes or GIFS. Pick things that show off your unique sense of humor, whether that be cute, wholesome memes or hilarious GIFS from your favorite Adult Swim cartoon.
- Playfully tease people to riff and joke around. You might say something like, "You're secret a horror movie buff, huh? Got any other secrets you're not telling me? 😉"

5

Show off your intelligence.

The smarter you are, the more riveting conversations you will have. Though looks may be important for initial first impressions, most of the time people are really looking for someone that they can talk to and learn from. Be forthright about all that you know when you're talking to new people, and talk about interesting subjects like recent news stories and social issues. People won't be able to resist such a dynamic and knowledgeable woman like yourself.^{[7]
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- Stay informed on current news stories and social issues in the news. Bring up what you learned in conversation and listen to what other people have to say, too.
- Check out new films, art, and museum exhibits in your area to learn more about subjects that interest you. These can offer great opportunities to enrich your world, learn new things, and bring up thought-provoking conversation topics.

6

Have goals and passions in life.

This will make you appear more vibrant and exciting. Rather than investing all of your energy in dating and attracting partners, you'll have a lot more success if you throw yourself into fulfilling your life aspirations and keeping up with your hobbies. When you meet with potential matches, give them updates about all the amazing things you've been up to. You'll appear like you've got a lot going for you, and people will be drawn to spending more time with you.^{[8]
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- Try going for a promotion, applying to new and exciting career opportunities, or going back to school. Keep doing things that make you happy, too, like volunteering, making art, and playing music.
- Mention all the cool things you've got going on in life on dates instead of downplaying them. You might say, "I'm running on pure adrenaline right now. I was up late finishing my application to grad school!"
- Be sure to ask about your date's goals and passions as well. Your date will appreciate the opportunity to talk about their life, and it'll help you avoid boasting or dominating the conversation.
- Even if you start seeing someone, make sure that you stay invested in what makes you happy. It'll help you grow and you'll continue to be as irresistible as the first day they met you.

7

Maintain your independence.

You'll appear more attractive if you're happy without a partner, too. Remind yourself that dating and finding a match is only one part of your life. Go on fun adventures alone and keep making plans with your friends and family (even if you start seeing someone that you really like). You'll be happier and more fulfilled, and potential suitors will be drawn to learning more about your exciting, adventurous life.^{[9]
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- Take yourself out for a nice lunch or catch a movie by yourself. You might even try taking a solo trip out of town if your schedule allows for it.
- Make fun plans with your friends and family. Part of keeping your independence as you date is maintaining the other relationships in your life.

8

Be empathetic to other people's experiences.

Treat people like you would want to be treated. You'll appear super attractive if you show others that you're a genuinely caring woman. Ask people how they're doing, send kind thoughts when they're going through tough times, and offer to be there when they need a helping hand. People will love being around someone that's so compassionate and understanding.^{[10]
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- If a date mentions that they had a bad day, say something reassuring or encouraging to pep them up again. You might say, "Man, that does sound stressful. You're so good at your job, though. If anyone can handle it, you can!"
- Offer to help if someone you like is ever in a bind. Let's say someone you've been seeing just got their car towed. Offer to pick them up and drive them where they need to go.
- Be empathetic to those that are less fortunate than you. You might consider volunteering or donating to organizations that help your community. Your actions will bring good things to the world and will likely attract good things (and people) your way in return.

9

Remain honest 100% of the time.

People are ultimately drawn to people that they can trust. Be genuine and truthful in your interactions with others and speak up when something is bothering you. Playing games or hiding things about yourself might seem like a good strategy to get more dates, but it may deter people in the long run. A truly irresistible woman is honest about what she wants and the way she lives her life.^{[11]
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- Be forthright about your actual interests and personality quirks (even if you're embarrassed about some of them). People like being around someone that's honest about who they are.
- If you like someone, let them know instead of playing hard to get. You might say, "I really like spending time with you. I'd love to keep hanging out to see where this goes."
- When a problem comes up, respectfully let people know what's on your mind to work things out. Your honest and open communication skills will likely impress people and put them at ease.

10

Wear bold and fashionable clothes.

Donning a great outfit helps you look and feel more magnetic. Choose clothes that flatter and show off your body, and don't be afraid to opt for clothes that are a little on the sultry side. Bold colors, like red, can also help you appear more alluring.^{[12]
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Research source} Though it's important to dress in ways that make you feel good most of all, a stylish ensemble can help you seem even more sexually appealing (especially if you feel great rocking it).
- Having a set of go-to wardrobe items that you already know you'll look and feel great in helps take the pressure off when you go out. It also boosts your sex appeal since you won't feel insecure about the way you look.
- To take your outfit to the next level, add some jewelry. You might try an elegant pair of dangly earrings or a statement necklace to show off your neckline.
- Spritz some perfume to complete your look. A signature scent can make you appear positively enchanting to others.

11

Keep good hygiene and health habits.

If you take good care of yourself, people will notice. Eat a nutritious diet, exercise regularly, and practice good hygiene habits so that you always look and feel fresh. These everyday habits will boost your physical and mental health, which can do wonders for making you appear even more attractive.^{[13]
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- Shower regularly, wear deodorant, and brush (and floss) your teeth. Day-to-day tasks like this actually do wonders for how appealing you look and feel.
- Try to do activities that get you into your body, whether that's going to a dance class or taking a hike. When you're present in your body, your sex appeal is naturally greater.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do I train myself to be more confident?

Nicole Moore
Love & Relationship Coach
Nicole Moore is a Love and Relationship Coach and the Founder and CEO of Love Works Method, a private coaching and digital course service for women looking to find the right partner. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in body language and helping others take control of their dating life, attract a partner, and build a strong relationship. Nicole has been featured in numerous publications such as Cosmopolitan, Forbes, and USA Today. She also hosts Love Works with Nicole Moore, a podcast for modern women wanting love, dating, and relationship advice. Nicole holds a BA in Public Relations and Spanish from Syracuse University and a Certificate in Personal Coaching from New York University.

Nicole Moore

Love & Relationship Coach

Expert Answer

Stand in front of a mirror and just look at yourself. You may notice lots of critical thoughts come up as your mind is focused on picking your appearance apart. It's important to remember that those initial critical thoughts are not the truth—they're just the voice of your inner critic speaking. The more you ignore this inner critic and focus on finding things to appreciate about yourself, the more confident you will feel.
Question

What makes a woman unforgettable to a man?

Hardy Jean
Dating Coach
Hardy "Coach DT" Jean is a Dating Coach and the Head Coach & Co-Founder of Way Tooo Spicy LLP, a relationship and dating coaching service based in Boston, Massachusetts. Hardy's specialties include trauma healing, self-love practices, and modern dating tactics in an increasingly virtual world. He works with his clients to upgrade their dating experiences through healing trauma, implementing uniquely personalized dating gameplans, and empowering clients to attract partners that they deserve. He has a BA in Legal Studies from the University of Massachusetts Amherst and is currently pursuing his Juris Doctor at Northeastern School of Law.

Hardy Jean

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

A lot of women get comfortable in being pursued. The most unforgettable women are those who are able to pursue back, be spontaneous, and equally respect and support a man.