How to Stop Being Moody

Co-authored by Liana Georgoulis, PsyD

Last Updated: May 12, 2021 References Approved

Having different moods is an important part of what creates our unique, human experience. However, when we get hit by sudden swings of especially sour moods it's easy to end up acting in ways that we are not proud of. In these cases, we can end up negatively affecting other people and ourselves. Sometimes we are aware of the cause of our mood, but often we simply notice that our days become colored by snarky thoughts, impatience, and angry responses to others. In either case, there are many things that can be done to take charge of your mood and to make yourself more pleasant to be around while you're handling a bad case of moodiness.

Part 1

Part 1 of 4:

Changing your Actions to Improve Mood

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Fake it 'till you make it. If you know you're in a mood, do your best to act as if you feel calm and content. When you're moody, your brain selects and attends to anything that matches your current mood, meaning that you want to get rid of any negative thoughts and expressions that it can feed off of.^{[1]
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Research source}So, if you are smiling despite your bad mood, you will respond to yourself (and others will join in) with congruence. If you smile, others will smile back. Further, your mind will mistake your faking it with the body's real smile, summoning happier thoughts and ideas than if you were frowning.
- For example, if your mood makes you feel too homely to leave the house, put on your favorite shirt and leave as if you have all the confidence in the world. The goal is to engage in behaviors that are inconsistent with your feelings so that you have the momentum for a real change in mood.
2
Change your environment. You are most motivated to change your mood when preparing to enter a new environment, including going from being alone to being with others.^{[2]
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Research source
Erber, R. & M. Erber. (2000). The Self-Regulation of Moods: Second Thoughts on the Importance of Happiness in Everyday Life. Psychological Inquiry, 11(3), 142-148.} If you can go to a different place entirely, think about what you are looking for. Relaxed and well-ordered environments tend to be help. If you are unable to leave where you are, see if there's anything you can re-arrange to make the environment more pleasant, like trash that can be thrown out, or another room you can move to that you find more peaceful.
- Going from inside to outside has an especially strong impact on mood. If it's possible to take a break from what you're doing and spend some time outside, take it! Natural environments have automatically uplifting qualities.
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Get active.^{[3]
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Trustworthy Source
National Health Service (UK)
Public healthcare system of the UK
Go to source}Exercise causes your brain to release endorphins, adrenaline, serotonin and dopamine--all chemicals that act to relieve tension and uplift your mood. While yoga, weight training, and cardiovascular exercise have all been shown to improve emotional states, even a brisk walk can be an effective mood changer.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Liana Georgoulis, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist
Expert Interview. 14 April 2021.}^{[5]
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Research source}
4
Change your breathing. Using breathing techniques are very helpful for both relaxation and increased energy. There are different techniques depending on which of these, relaxation or stamina, you believe you need to improve the mood. These techniques can be learned here.
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Listen to music.^{[6]
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Research source} Listening to music intentionally--focusing on the beat and noticing how it makes you feel--is heavily impactful, especially by upbeat music.^{[7]
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Research source} A good choice of music might be something that you are already familiar with and that's upbeat, so think about what you would play in a party or social environment.
- Music as a mood-changing tool can also be used to help feel into the negativity of the mood, so it may be worthwhile to indulge your craving for sad music. With either sad or upbeat tunes, make sure that you are aware of how you are being affected without going overboard and wondering whether it's "working yet".
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Contact someone you can trust to lift your mood.^{[8]
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Research source} Because we are highly affected by those around us, changing the people in your immediate surrounding is just as important as changing your physical environment. After you assess who you need to avoid and who you cannot, try getting in touch with someone whose presence you find comforting and uplifting.^{[9]
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Expert Source

Liana Georgoulis, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist
Expert Interview. 14 April 2021.}
- You can simply call or text someone, letting them know that you're feeling down and want to check in. Make sure that they know where your mood's status, and that you do not need their help diagnosing it. The best contact in moments of extreme moodiness are brief affirmations and well-wishes that will relax you rather than challenge you to fake happiness in conversation.

Part 2

Part 2 of 4:

Changing your Mind to Improve Mood

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Tune into your murky mood. Ask the part of you that is totally caught up in the mood what is so upsetting and what it needs. Let your mood be a messenger of whatever is bothering you so that you can decide whether or not to take action. You may then ask what would make it feel better in the immediate moment (like screaming into a pillow or smashing an egg)
- Be careful, ladies. Women have a tendency to spend more time than men ruminating (without benefit) on the negative mood, so use this tool with caution.^{[10]
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  Research source} You may want to put a time limit on how long you spend focusing exclusively on the bad mood.
2
Examine the moment more closely.^{[11]
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Research source} Asking yourself silently or through journal writing, is there a reason for your moodiness? If there is a reason that you can point to, is there anything that you can do to change it? If you can't put your finger on why you feel the way you do, is there anything that you can tell yourself to feel better? Even though figuring out what's going on may not change your mood entirely, it will give you a better idea of the best things you can do to alter your state of mind.
3
Channel positive memories.^{[12]
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Research source}We have the remarkable faculty of imagination, which allows us to create in our minds the feeling of being elsewhere. Since it's not always possible to make a change in your physical location, try envisioning a time when you felt very differently from how you do now. The happier and more positive the memory is, the more capable of transforming your current mood it will be!^{[13]
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Expert Source

Liana Georgoulis, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist
Expert Interview. 14 April 2021.}^{[14]
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Research source}
- You can increase the effectiveness of channeling positive memories by using visualization techniques. Visualization techniques help you enliven the memory by helping you use visual cues. You can learn more about visualization here
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Accept your mood. Consciously acknowledging that it’s there, even if you don't like it, will put you more at peace.^{[15]
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Research source} Sometimes it's best not to shy away from your mood or resist it aggressively, knowing that it will pass in due time. In these cases you may want to lay low until you're feeling a bit better (out of respect for others and for your own long-term goals).

Part 3

Part 3 of 4:

Changing your Habits to Improve Mood

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Explore mood-improving food. By eating anti-inflammatory nutrients with regularity, it will be easier for you to regulate your stress and energy levels. Additionally, easing up on your sugar, alcohol, and caffeine intake will help make your energy level more consistent throughout the day.^{[16]
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Expert Source

Liana Georgoulis, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist
Expert Interview. 14 April 2021.}^{[17]
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Research source} Both of these will automatically eliminate many possible causes of moodiness. The following is a list of anti-inflammatory foods:^{[18]
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Research source}
- Eggs
- Green tea
- Dark chocolate containing at least 70% cocoa
- Warm milk
- Hummus
- Dark, leafy greens
- Walnuts
- Avocados
- Asparagus.
2
Start taking vitamin D. Vitamin D contributes to all sorts of functions that ultimately regulate mood, like regulating the immune system and releasing neurotransmitters that affect brain function and development.^{[19]
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Research source} Vitamin D can be taken as a vitamin, found in food, or absorbed through exposure to the sun.
3
Check out herbs for controlling mood. Alternative, herbal medicines can be very powerful for regulating the bodily functions that contribute to your mood.^{[20]
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Research source} Here’s a list of herbs that help alter mood and control mood swings:^{[21]
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Research source}
- St. John’s Wort
- Passionflower
- Ginseng
- Rhodiola Rosea
- Kava Kava.
4
Get more sleep. Studies have shown that after only a few days of shortened sleep, many people experience worsened mood and decreased ability to regulate negative emotions.^{[22]
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Expert Source

Liana Georgoulis, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist
Expert Interview. 14 April 2021.}^{[23]
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Research source
Baum, K. T., Desai, A., Field, J., Miller, L. E., Rausch, J. and Beebe, D. W. (2014), Sleep restriction worsens mood and emotion regulation in adolescents. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 55: 180–190. doi: 10.1111/jcpp.12125} If getting more sleep regularly is not an option for you, make sure that you allow yourself to take catch-up naps after nights of shorter sleep. You can learn to improve your sleeping habits here.

Part 4

Part 4 of 4:

Changing the Source of Moodiness

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Evaluate major sources of daily stress. When moodiness is not just occasional but chronic, it may be a sign that you have taken on something in your life that you cannot handle.^{[24]
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Research source} Take stock of the obligations and commitments that shape your daily life. In order to ensure that you stay healthy and kind to yourself, don't be afraid to re-negotiate your responsibilities when possible.
- For instance, you may be the friend that everyone relies on--a very laudable role. However, constantly answering frantic calls from people in your life, in addition to professional work and duties at home, might be causing stress that you are unaware of. Moodiness from overload, even if you are doing things that you feel happy to do, is common.
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Consider seeing a therapist. If you find that your moods are too overwhelming to effectively help yourself, you may want to seek out a qualified therapist.Therapy can provide a place for you to safely delve deeper into chronic moodiness. There, you will have help unpacking and resolving hangups from your past that contribute to your moods in the present. You will also be assessed for a possible mood disorder and offered more intensive treatment options. In the absence of identifiable triggers, severe mood swings may very well have a chemical component.^{[25]
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Research source}
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Visit a doctor. In addition to more serious psychological causes of moodiness, hormone imbalances can greatly impact mood. By seeing a doctor and talking about the specifics of your moods, including any physical symptoms, you will know if you have a hormone imbalance or other health issue that is the root cause of your moodiness.
- Men who have a hormone imbalance may also experience other symptoms. Decline in sex drive, a loss of muscle mass, weight gain in the abdominal area, joint pain and stiffness, hair loss, insomnia, and urinary problems are all commonly reported.
- Women who have a hormone imbalance may also experience hot flashes, night sweats, irregular menstrual periods and frequent headaches or migraines. Weight gain, insomnia, pain or stiffness in the joints, drastic changes to skin and hair quality, heart palpitations and abdominal bloating are also seen frequently.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I control my mood swings naturally?

Liana Georgoulis, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist
Dr. Liana Georgoulis is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with over 10 years of experience, and is now the Clinical Director at Coast Psychological Services in Los Angeles, California. She received her Doctor of Psychology from Pepperdine University in 2009. Her practice provides cognitive behavioral therapy and other evidence-based therapies for adolescents, adults, and couples.

Liana Georgoulis, PsyD

Licensed Psychologist

Expert Answer

Make sure you're getting enough sleep at night since getting less than 7 hours can affect your mood.
Question

What foods cause mood swings?

Liana Georgoulis, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist
Dr. Liana Georgoulis is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with over 10 years of experience, and is now the Clinical Director at Coast Psychological Services in Los Angeles, California. She received her Doctor of Psychology from Pepperdine University in 2009. Her practice provides cognitive behavioral therapy and other evidence-based therapies for adolescents, adults, and couples.

Liana Georgoulis, PsyD

Licensed Psychologist

Expert Answer

Too much caffeine, alcohol, and sugar can all make your emotions harder to control.

Warnings

Don't get upset if the best option is to just ride out your bad mood. At that point, you'll make your experience much less pleasant by feeling guilty for being in a bad mood.

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