How to Tell Your Crush You Like Them in a Note

Co-authored by Erika Kaplan and Sophia Latorre

Last Updated: March 15, 2023 References Approved

A crush will always be just a crush unless you let them know how you feel. If you’re too shy to tell your crush that you like them in person, you could write them a note. Keep it short, simple, and to the point. Explain your feelings, but don’t include too many gushy details. Prepare yourself for your crush’s reaction, and remember that even if your crush doesn’t like you back, you will have been brave enough to get your own feelings off your chest—and that is something to be proud of.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Crafting Your Message

1
Keep it short and simple. Tell your crush you like them, and that you’d like to spend time with them. Don’t ramble on, repeat yourself, or gush about how wonderful your crush is or how you think about them constantly. Coming on too strong may make your crush feel uncomfortable.^{[1]
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2
Tell your crush you like them. Though it may seem scary, it’s best to just be direct with this. Be honest and simply tell your crush you like them.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Erika Kaplan
Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 6 April 2021.} Avoid professing your undying love or telling your crush you think about them 24/7. After all, you don’t want to creep your crush out!^{[3]
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- For example, write, “I like you. Do you want to hang out sometime?”
- Don’t write, “I can’t stop thinking about you and I dream of you every night. I love you so much.”
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3
Give a few reasons why you like them. Think about why you like your crush and what draws you to them. Are they kind or funny? Are they a great dancer or a stellar guitar player? Include one or two specific reasons about how your crush has captured your attention.^{[4]
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- For instance, write, “I admire the way you stand up for other kids,” or “I like that you work really hard in chemistry.”
- Avoid writing things like, “You’re really hot,” or “You’re so popular.” These aren’t good reasons to like someone, and they don’t say anything about your crush’s personality.
4
Be confident in yourself. It can be scary to share your feelings with someone else. However, you shouldn’t put yourself down in the note or assume your crush doesn’t return your feelings.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Erika Kaplan
Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 6 April 2021.} Don’t let your crush know that you’re scared of their rejection, but instead show confidence in yourself.^{[6]
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- Don’t write something like, “I know you’ll never like me back, but I just had to tell you that I think about you all the time!”
- Instead, write, “I’d like to get to know you better. Do you want to hang out next weekend?”
5
Avoid sharing anything you don’t want others to know. There’s a chance that your crush could show the note to their friends, which is another reason why you want to keep it simple and to the point. There’s no need to feel embarrassed about telling someone you like them. But, if you include too many personal details you may feel uncomfortable if other people read your note.
- Don’t say something like, “You’re my first crush and I think about you all the time. I’ve never been kissed before and I want you to be my first.”

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Taking the Next Steps

1
Make it neat. While you don’t need to purchase fancy stationery or take calligraphy lessons, you should use your best handwriting so that your crush can easily read your message. If you scratched out a bunch of lines in your note, rewrite it. Your crush might be able to decipher what you crossed out, which you definitely don’t want.^{[7]
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- Avoid adding lots of hearts or kisses to the note. Save those for notes you write when you’re already dating someone!
2
Sign the note. It’s super important that you sign the note with your name! After all, you want your crush to know that YOU like them, not that they have a secret admirer. If there are a few kids in your class with the same name, add your last name or at least your last initial to avoid any confusion.^{[8]
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- For example, you could write, “I hope to hear back from you soon. From, Adam G.”
- Another example is, “See you in math class. Sarah O’Reilly.”
3
Address the note. You can fold your note in a fancy configuration, or put it in a sealed envelope. Be sure to put your crush’s name on the outside of the note so there’s no question as to who it’s for. Also, include their last initial or name if there’s more than one person at your school with the same name.
- For example, write, “To Marissa E.”
4
Deliver it to your crush. You could hand your crush the note, or leave it in their locker. You could also have a friend give the note to your crush, but make sure they say it’s from you to avoid any confusion. It’s a good idea to wait until lunchtime or after school to deliver the note so that neither you nor your crush get in trouble during class.
- You may want to wait until your crush is alone to deliver the note so they can read it privately.
- Alternatively, you could email the note to your crush. But, you won’t know if or when your crush reads the note, and they may not take a digital message as seriously as a handwritten note.
5
Ask your crush to reply. You can add a line in the note asking your crush to write back, or ask them to let you know their response when you deliver the letter in person. For example, you could say, “I’ll be outside if you want to talk after you read this.”
- If you haven’t heard from your crush a few days after giving them the note, you can follow up with them. Simply ask, “Hey, did you read my note?” when you see them in person.
6
Be prepared for their reaction. Hopefully, your crush likes you too and your note is the beginning of a wonderful relationship. This may not always be the case, though, so you should be prepared for rejection. Realize that your crush has made their decision, and don’t try to change it. It’s okay for you to be sad or feel disappointed.^{[9]
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Expert Source

Erika Kaplan
Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 6 April 2021.} Give yourself time to accept the situation, then let go of the idea of dating your crush, and move on.^{[10]
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Expert Q&A

Question

What do you say to your crush when you like them?

Erika Kaplan
Dating Coach
Erika Kaplan is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking company across nine cities in the United States. With over six years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles find quality matches through date coaching and premium matchmaking services. Erika graduated from Penn State with a Bachelor’s degree in Public Relations. She worked for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly, and Men’s Journal before leaving publishing to pursue her passion for connecting people. Erika has been featured on Lifetime, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and CBS as well as in Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men’s Health, Fast Company, and Refinery29.

Erika Kaplan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

There are no hard and fast rules here. You just have to speak your truth. Be honest, and articulate how you feel in a genuine way. Go in with the assumption that this is going to go well if you need a little boost of confidence. If they don't respond well, don't worry about it! Shake it off and move on.
Question

What if I'm really nervous?

Erika Kaplan
Dating Coach
Erika Kaplan is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking company across nine cities in the United States. With over six years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles find quality matches through date coaching and premium matchmaking services. Erika graduated from Penn State with a Bachelor’s degree in Public Relations. She worked for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly, and Men’s Journal before leaving publishing to pursue her passion for connecting people. Erika has been featured on Lifetime, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and CBS as well as in Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men’s Health, Fast Company, and Refinery29.

Erika Kaplan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Do whatever you can to pump yourself up before you go through with it! Remember, even if you it doesn't go exactly the way you want, you can only control what you do. You have nothing to be nervous about, and there's no need to overthink it. Speak what's true to you!
Question

What happens if she doesn't wanna talk to you anymore?

Community Answer

Unfortunately, you'll have to take that risk. Your crush may not be interested in you the same way you are in them. If that's the case, respect your crush's feelings and decision, and move on.