The Dangers of Soul Ties: Unhealthy Soul Ties and How to Break Them

Co-authored by Jennifer McVey, Cht and Jennifer Mueller, JD

Last Updated: November 5, 2022 References

When you have a soul tie with someone, you feel an intense emotional connection with that person. It might feel like they've always been a part of you, like you've always known them. This sort of connection might sound like a dream come true! But that level of intensity also has a dark side. Read on to learn everything you need to know about the dangers of soul ties, including how to break unhealthy soul ties that are messing up your life.

Things You Should Know

A soul tie is a powerful, inexplicable emotional connection with someone else.
A soul tie with a toxic or abusive person can be extremely damaging to your mental health.
To break a soul tie, remove all signs of the other person from your life. Then, use meditation, visualization, and ritual to remove the tie.
Practice forgiveness for yourself and the other person to fully release the connection. Seek professional support for strong ties.

Section 1 of 4:

What is a soul tie?

A soul tie is an intense, all-encompassing connection between you and another person. While soul ties are primarily emotional or mental, they also have physical and spiritual elements. You might feel as though you and the person are fated to be together, or as though you've known each other your whole lives (even though you just met).^{[1]
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- When you have a soul tie with someone, all of your emotions feel stronger than they ever have before—this includes positive and negative emotions.
- Soul ties can be healthy or unhealthy, depending on the character of the person and your relationship with them.
- Many Christians believe that toxic or "ungodly" soul ties form when you have a relationship with someone that is sinful or violates God's will.

Section 2 of 4:

Signs of a Toxic or Ungodly Soul Tie

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The soul tie is one-sided. This can happen if someone breaks up with you but you still have feelings for them. Feeling a soul tie with someone who does not feel a soul tie to you can be a dangerous situation. Because you have an emotional connection that they don't, they'll never be able to give you what you want. Seek help to break the soul tie so you can let go of this person and move on with your life.^{[2]
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- At the extreme end, a one-sided soul tie could lead to obsessive behavior, like stalking. Be careful if someone seems to have a one-sided soul tie with you.
- If you have a one-sided soul tie, it makes it relatively easy for the other person to take advantage of you and emotionally manipulate you.^{[3]
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You sacrifice your own well-being for the person you're tied to. You're willing to do anything the person needs or wants you to do, even if it requires you to put your own health or safety at risk. You might make exceptions or excuses as to why it's okay for you to take the risks you're taking on their behalf.^{[4]
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- Over time, you might feel that you're gradually losing yourself to the relationship. Who you are becoming is less about your own interests and more about fulfilling the needs of the person you're tied to.
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You think about the person constantly after they're out of your life. Even though you know the person isn't any good for you—even if you don't want to be with them anymore—they're always on your mind. You're always wondering where they are, what they're up to, or if they're thinking about you. You probably even dream about them, and those dreams are especially vivid.^{[5]
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- You might also ask yourself what they would think about various things you do, or try to imagine what they would do if they were in the same circumstances as you.
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You can't seem to move on, even though you can't stand the person. The relationship is over, so why are you still obsessively checking their social media? A soul tie makes it hard to let go of someone, so you might still feel connected even after the two of you have called it quits.^{[6]
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- You might still compare everyone in your life to that person or constantly ask yourself what they would think about anything you say or do.
- Even if the two of you parted ways on good terms, if you're unable to let them go, you're going to have a hard time finding pleasure and happiness with someone else.

Section 3 of 4:

How Toxic Soul Ties Form

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Through trauma or abuse Trauma and abuse cause extreme physical and emotional vulnerability, which can lead an abuse victim to form a soul tie with their abuser. This is one of the things that makes it so difficult for domestic abuse victims to leave their abusers.^{[7]
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Through sexual intercourse Many Christians believe that if you have sex with someone outside of marriage, you automatically form an unhealthy or "ungodly" soul tie with that person. That soul tie can endanger your relationship with your future spouse.^{[8]
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Through occult practices Many Christians believe that occult rites and rituals can create toxic or ungodly soul ties.^{[9]
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Research source} What constitutes an occult practice and which ones form soul ties varies extensively depending on your personal spiritual and religious beliefs.
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Through unhealthy dominance This toxic soul tie comes from an unequal relationship where one person puts the other on a pedestal. In Christian terms, one person treats the other person like God. Because Christians should always put God first, putting someone else above God automatically creates a toxic or ungodly soul tie.^{[10]
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Section 4 of 4:

Breaking a Toxic or Ungodly Soul Tie

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Acknowledge that the soul tie exists. Having an unhealthy soul tie is similar to an addiction and, in many ways, the process of breaking an unhealthy soul tie is similar to overcoming an addiction. Start by recognizing how the soul tie has negatively impacted your life.^{[11]
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- This can require a lot of self-reflection. Sometimes it can be painful to admit how the soul tie is affecting you and your life—but it'll be worth it once you're free of the soul tie for good.
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Remove all signs of the person from your life. If you have anything that belongs to the person, or anything they gave you, get rid of it—even if you like it. You don't want to own anything that reminds you of them. Throw away or donate everything you can that reminds you of them.^{[12]
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- This includes pictures you have of them or the two of you. Don't just destroy any physical copies, but delete the digital images as well.
- Block them on social media so you can't see or interact with them. You might want to take a break from social media for a while if you feel like you'd be too tempted to unblock them and take a peek.
- Make sure you also block their phone number so you won't be tempted to reach out to them.
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Try meditation or visualization to break the tie. Do a breathing exercise to focus your mind, then draw your attention to a mental image of a string or cord. Visualize that string or cord breaking while you tell yourself that you're breaking the soul tie between you and the other person.^{[13]
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- Repeat the visualization whenever you think about the other person or feel a pull towards them. Eventually, you'll be able to quickly and easily put them out of your mind.
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Perform a breaking ritual to physically symbolize severing the soul tie. Get a string or cord that represents the tie between you and the other person, then tie either end around the wick of each candle. Light the candles and let them burn down until they burn through the string, symbolizing that the tie is broken.^{[14]
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- If you're not allowed to burn candles where you live or you just don't like the idea of an open flame, just use scissors instead. Choose any two objects to represent yourself and the other person and tie them together with a piece of string. Say a few words of your choosing, then cut the string.
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Call on your higher power to help break the soul tie. If you're a religious person, harness the power of prayer to free you from an unhealthy soul tie. Your higher power will guide you down the right path, away from harmful and negative influences in your life.^{[15]
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- Incorporate a daily prayer into your routine to help you build strength and confidence. Start with something like, "Dear God, give me the strength to overcome this harmful soul tie and heal from the pain."
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Get help from a professional with experience breaking soul ties. If you're a religious or spiritual person, you might seek help from a religious leader or spiritual guide. Or, talk to a therapist who can help you break your bond with the person.^{[16]
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- Therapists can also give you tasks that help build your confidence and self-esteem after an experience with an unhealthy soul tie.
- Because a soul tie is energy, professionals known as "energy workers" can also help you break the soul tie.
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Practice forgiveness to begin the healing process. One of the hardest parts of breaking a soul tie is forgiving the other person and forgiving yourself. It might take you a long time to actually forgive, but once you do, you open up the path to fully healing from the experience.^{[17]
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- As long as you don't forgive the other person or yourself, there's still a part of the soul tie clinging to you that won't let go. Forgiveness will release you from the other person forever.

Warnings

If you're currently in an abusive relationship, focus on safely leaving that relationship and protect yourself from that person before you worry about breaking the soul tie.^{[18]
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